my stupid love poem

[Cierah]

this is your love...

clear vibrant eyes speak with a sincerity
that cannot reach parted lips.
it strikes unholy terror in my heart

a gentle touch with the unspoken
said aloud,
has become the touch of death

arms out stretched to take back
the time
the innocence
tears of blood; as a piece of me dies

scared and alone

as he says

love

__________________________________________________ ___________
so, critical analysis please.

[x3oh4riotX]

i love it! kind of sad, but still very amazing. keep it up!

[kidder]

Why would such guilelessly offered innocence induce such a reaction in you? 'Clear vibrant eyes' and this offer of love- you're ten miles inside the gates of heaven!

[Cierah]

such 'guiltless love' gets this reaction from me becuase love, though perfect as it may be, will never last forever and the pain of it gone is not worth the joy that occurs in the brief passing moments of love. I know that's no way to live but some ppl have had too much hearache to have the courage to live any other way. and that's what this poem is to me. thanks.

[kidder]

Ah, Tennyson! 'Tis better to have loved and lost/Than never to have loved at all.'

[sylvanlightning]

Thank you for sharing this. I didn't find it stupid at all. Its rather deep and provokes reflection... how many people have I carelessly hurt or mislead without knowing what they were feeling.

[KittenX]

Not stupid at all, make up a good title! I liked this...know exactly how it feels as I am I feeling/thinking the same thoughts right now. This heaven is a masquerade for hell.