Verisimilitude
07-06-2009, 09:17 PM
Alright boys and girls, I finally did it: I shot myself with 4mg Dilaudid last night.
I am in the hospital so I have a catheter in, which means I didn't have to use any needles. All I had to do was use one of the many 5 or 10cc Saline Flush syringes left in my room by my nurse. Also, alcohol swabs and cotton gauze were all left in here for me.
I crushed half an 8mg Mallincrodt pill, then using a plastic cup the nurses use to bring in medication (which happens to have liquid volume gradations on the side) I squirted in 5cc's of saline and poured the powder in. using a sterile swab I stirred the mixture well, then let it set for about 45minutes till I worked up the courage. Then I took a cotton, wadded it up as best I could, then placed it into the cup. after it had soaked up the liquid I sucked up as much as I could with the empty syringe (no needle, just a plastic connector tip which fits with the valve on the end of my catheter). I repeated the filtering process 3 times using new cottons and adding a couple cc's of saline each time to dilute it. Finally, I sucked it up into a 5cc syringe (which ended up being exactly full because I was able to measure the liquid in the cup using the gradations on the side) and it was PERFECTLY clear and particle free.
I almost didn't do it. But soon I realized that my nurse was busy and it would be another 2 hours or so before I could get my normal shot from her so I said fuck it.
I hooked the syringe up to the valve, after swabbing both the plastic tip of the syringe and the valve end of the catheter. I depressed the plunger halfway, and immediately felt the dilaudid rush, so I pressed it slowly the rest of the way. I then flushed my catheter with normal saline from a fresh, sterile flush kit, to make sure none of the precious drug would lie trapped and useless inside the catheter tube. Then I cleaned up my mess and put things away so I could use the important parts again (after swabbing them all with alcohol of course) and sat down in bed to enjoy my high.
But... the enjoyment was short lived. I still felt the wonderful Dilaudid high, but I was anxious about the shot, and anxious about side effects and if I was going to depress my immune system too far and if I was going to kill myself, and suddenly I felt a stitch in my chest and it hurt and I felt short of breath and I started to freak out...
Has anyone else experienced this sort of reaction when shooting dilaudid or when shooting for the first time?
I think I might just have been really worried about things going wrong and worked myself up into a panic attack, but I am not totally sure. the one thing I do know is that I ended up being fine, and although I forced myself not to nod off for several hours out of worry that I wouldn't wake up, I eventually realized I was going to be ok, and let myself drop off.
Woke up this morning feeling totally fine, so I think I'll try it again tonight, same dose, same method, but this time I'll know it is going to be fine so I won't get so worried and hopefully won't make myself so anxious that I need a shot of ativan, lol.
Just a reminder to everyone: I shot up last night at 2am IN MY HOSPITAL ROOM. I think even though it wasn't a perfect experience, its pretty awesome. So where's the craziest place you've shot up or snorted drugs?
Anyone else used a catheter to shoot drugs?
PS. I am initiated! I am now an IV drug user! fuck the police! lol
I am in the hospital so I have a catheter in, which means I didn't have to use any needles. All I had to do was use one of the many 5 or 10cc Saline Flush syringes left in my room by my nurse. Also, alcohol swabs and cotton gauze were all left in here for me.
I crushed half an 8mg Mallincrodt pill, then using a plastic cup the nurses use to bring in medication (which happens to have liquid volume gradations on the side) I squirted in 5cc's of saline and poured the powder in. using a sterile swab I stirred the mixture well, then let it set for about 45minutes till I worked up the courage. Then I took a cotton, wadded it up as best I could, then placed it into the cup. after it had soaked up the liquid I sucked up as much as I could with the empty syringe (no needle, just a plastic connector tip which fits with the valve on the end of my catheter). I repeated the filtering process 3 times using new cottons and adding a couple cc's of saline each time to dilute it. Finally, I sucked it up into a 5cc syringe (which ended up being exactly full because I was able to measure the liquid in the cup using the gradations on the side) and it was PERFECTLY clear and particle free.
I almost didn't do it. But soon I realized that my nurse was busy and it would be another 2 hours or so before I could get my normal shot from her so I said fuck it.
I hooked the syringe up to the valve, after swabbing both the plastic tip of the syringe and the valve end of the catheter. I depressed the plunger halfway, and immediately felt the dilaudid rush, so I pressed it slowly the rest of the way. I then flushed my catheter with normal saline from a fresh, sterile flush kit, to make sure none of the precious drug would lie trapped and useless inside the catheter tube. Then I cleaned up my mess and put things away so I could use the important parts again (after swabbing them all with alcohol of course) and sat down in bed to enjoy my high.
But... the enjoyment was short lived. I still felt the wonderful Dilaudid high, but I was anxious about the shot, and anxious about side effects and if I was going to depress my immune system too far and if I was going to kill myself, and suddenly I felt a stitch in my chest and it hurt and I felt short of breath and I started to freak out...
Has anyone else experienced this sort of reaction when shooting dilaudid or when shooting for the first time?
I think I might just have been really worried about things going wrong and worked myself up into a panic attack, but I am not totally sure. the one thing I do know is that I ended up being fine, and although I forced myself not to nod off for several hours out of worry that I wouldn't wake up, I eventually realized I was going to be ok, and let myself drop off.
Woke up this morning feeling totally fine, so I think I'll try it again tonight, same dose, same method, but this time I'll know it is going to be fine so I won't get so worried and hopefully won't make myself so anxious that I need a shot of ativan, lol.
Just a reminder to everyone: I shot up last night at 2am IN MY HOSPITAL ROOM. I think even though it wasn't a perfect experience, its pretty awesome. So where's the craziest place you've shot up or snorted drugs?
Anyone else used a catheter to shoot drugs?
PS. I am initiated! I am now an IV drug user! fuck the police! lol