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la Principessa
04-20-2009, 10:28 PM
some sappy love poem i wrote. entitled "yours".



The joining and parting of our hearts has been many. Never a mystery, my constant fear, my naivete. The thought that one could be so encompassed with love, passion, want, need, lust, pure desperation... The wonder that one could feel so wholly attached to another human being to the point where you feel incomplete, nonexistent, a shell if we are not together.

Feeling so utterly lost without the part of you that brings the sparkle
to your eye that I adore, brings the lilt to the way that I laugh as I
wipe away your silly tears of joy because I am here for you, at last,
and I will never go again.

Oh, to be yours. Belonging to another is not so easy and lighthearted. The weight, the mass, the feeling that your love could take each molecule of the vast sky and make it somehow more pleasant. Life seems less morose when you are walking on clouds made of evaporation from labored lovers' breaths in a climactic moment of passion. The air is sweet. Dew collects on the lilac's clusters and our lips and our hair as we lay in the grass after a fresh spring rain. We wanted to feel it on our bodies as we were one... on the ground, an incarnation. You the Earth, and I the rain, and vice versa. Two worlds together in one instant.

If the universe were to end, no place would I rather be than in your embrace. Only with you can a day of destruction be so utterly beautiful. Watching the mountains dissolve, such mighty entities to disappear beneath the ocean's surface that laps up at us, still standing. I throw back my soaked tresses and look into your eyes, so earnest. Your brows furrowed with worry as you cling to me as I to you.

Exhilaration. Hardly anything remains but us and the torrents of rain that will wash away everything else. Love, you, I, and the butterflies.

moondaddy
04-21-2009, 09:34 AM
A.Never tell your readers anything about the quality of your work before they read it. If you say it is sappy then people will tend to believe you. Let them decide for themselves.
B. Break the poem up by sentences, each on a new line. This gives an opportunity to digest each thought. Like this:
The joining and parting of our hearts has been many.
Never a mystery, my constant fear, my naivete.
The thought that one could be so encompassed with love, passion, want, need, lust, pure desperation...
The wonder that one could feel so wholly attached to another human being to the point where you feel incomplete, nonexistent, a shell if we are not together.
Etc.
C.Keep writing. You have a knack for expressing yourself.

la Principessa
04-21-2009, 09:19 PM
thanks!