May Is Not A Poet.

[LauraMay]

That smile.
That evil, hated smile.
And those eyes,
Which twinkle with aid.
Bottles and bottles fill up that old pile,
On the tiles, which day to day fade.

Without fail,
It's only ten in the morning.
The time you begin to quench thirst.
By the time that you're done,
A new day is dawning.
And your liver is about to burst.

The couch sags,
Beneath your old, tired limbs.
I can tell that they're aching from here.
All around you are bottles,
Filled to the rims.
And they're all filled with piss-yellow beer.

:cheers2:
Think before you get drunk in front of your kids ;)

[rambleON]

alcohol is a crazy thing isn't it...and it's legal.

[LauraMay]

alcohol is a crazy thing isn't it...and it's legal.

Agree 100% :D

[Gig]

Hey Laura May,

I disagree, I think May is a poet. I liked your poem here. It says a lot and appears to come from the heart, which, IMHO, defines good poetry. The techincal aspects, style and all that stuff is just icing on the cake as far as I'm concerned, but I think you do well in those areas also.

Gig

[piffle]

I totally love it May my dad is a big alcho so i can totally understand this well done!

[Didymus Doppelgänger]

Theres heart in it, Laura. Its a beautiful, enticing piece. You are indeed a poet.

[LauraMay]

Troubled eyes

The sight, the stare

Still might glare into mine

Hair on the rise

My back, so cold

I told you it’s a sign

You avoid

My touch, the flush

The rushing in my heart

You fill the void

But you are too much

And with you I just

I can’t

[lynzxx]

:hurray: aww lauramay :D i love them :)

[LauraMay]

I totally love it May my dad is a big alcho so i can totally understand this well done!

Theres heart in it, Laura. Its a beautiful, enticing piece. You are indeed a poet.

:hurray: aww lauramay :D i love them

Aww I'm still not a poet! :p

But thank you!!! :D

[piffle]

Aww I'm still not a poet! :p

But thank you!!! :D


Thats the biggest load of bull shitatakie mushrooms I've ever heard, those two awsome poems prove you are a poet!

[LauraMay]

Thats the biggest load of bull shitatakie mushrooms I've ever heard, those two awsome poems prove you are a poet!

I think it takes more than just shoving a few lines that rhyme together and calling it a 'poem' to be a poet :p

[piffle]

yes it does it takes shoving a few powerful lines together that rhyme and calling it a poem to be a poet and you got that covered girly

[rambleON]

laura, give yourself some credit, i enjoyed your rhyme schemes...add that to a level of suspense that you created and you are on your way.