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View Full Version : Just when you think you're REALLY out...


rocknroll_girl
10-02-2004, 04:50 AM
I've been out for about four years to myself, two years to my closest friends and family, and a year to the world. At the beginning of the last school year (I'm a senior in high school now, junior then) a few coincidences made it the right time to come out, so I did. I wrote this huge big-deal article about the shit gay kids go through in most high schools, headed up the GSA with some seniors, and have been a vocal advocate in the classroom ever since. I assumed that word spread and everyone in school knew, including my very supportive sports teams.

Yet today, I guess I came out to half my volleyball team. I couldn't figure out! We were talking about some kid who dropped out of school because he was queer and one of the girls said "but weren't there some gay kids in the senior class last year? Phil and Mike? they were stable." And I was like, ummmm...."well, I'm gay and I'm fine." Their mouths dropped and it was so, so weird. I said, "oh, sorry to drop it like that, I thought you knew."

They were all sincerely dumbfounded. Not that they had been ignoring a prevelant rumor or anything, they simply had no idea. I find this remarkable. I mean, people talk about it all the time! A TON of people do.

Anyone had a similar experience? Where you thought you were completely out and REALLY obviously gay yet people who spend tons of time with you were oblivious?

SelfControl
10-02-2004, 01:11 PM
I was out in Sixth form, but it didn't filter through to everyone for ages. To be honest, school's like that, groups don't talk to each other.

rocknroll_girl
10-02-2004, 09:43 PM
I guess that's true. This was weird, though, because half my team knew and half didn't. That completely contradicts the widely accepted idea that if you're out to some people in a close group, you're out to everyone.

Taylor
10-03-2004, 01:44 AM
yeah I know what you mean. I came out in 4th form, at 14, REALLY publicly... like, announcing it in a room full of total gossip queens and shit... two years later when I made an allusion to being bi, people turn around and are like "WHAT THE HELL?"

*shrug*

People are weird.

SelfControl
10-03-2004, 02:51 AM
I guess that's true. This was weird, though, because half my team knew and half didn't. That completely contradicts the widely accepted idea that if you're out to some people in a close group, you're out to everyone.

What, was it just defence, or just attack? Maybe you had "I'm actually straight, inspite of what you've heard" written on yr back.

rocknroll_girl
10-03-2004, 05:05 AM
Heh, yeah. Maybe that was the catch. Or perhaps the uh...the uh...boys cargo shorts or the...Ani Difranco cds or the, um...feminist rants or the...birkenstocks, or...


What were they THINKING? I don't believe it was denial. More cluelessness.

The World of Dan
10-03-2004, 06:20 AM
<snip>I guess this just goes to show that there is no reason for them to assume you are gay... there is no diffrence between gay and stright people... - I just wish the homophobes would learn that.