i came out yesterday

[Patch]

oh god...i absolutely can't believe it...i am so terrified...this is how it all went down:

i was staying at my dad's this weekend but i had to stop home for some homework stuff...my mom was home...i found her and she said, "i was cleaning your room (me in my head: holy shit...bridge of privacy...you bitch!)...and i cleaned out your headboard and i found ciggarettes and a marijuana pipe..." so in the midst of trying to semi explain myself...she asked if my drug use was due to a sexuality issue...well...playing dumb i said, "what do you mean?"...she then asks, "well are you gay?"...and with out even thinking about it (which is what really scared me) i said i was...and yeah...she didn't really react...she said she'd prefer if i weren't...but as long as i am happy...oh god...i am still in shock...and she shrugged off the drug use too! i have no idea what is going on...i'm just glad she didn't find any other stash...or my love letters...
i'm glad it's over with though.
oi.

[SelfControl]

Well done pet. It's way easier when they work it out for themselves.

[Down_In_It]

Nice one Blackie! HAHA! Don't it feel dead good once your out? My parents found gay pron under my bed when I was 13... long story, just shows how fucked up my childhood really was/is!

[SelfControl]

I came out without having a boyfriend or any porns, so it was quite easy to ignore. Then about a year later they came back early from holiday and met my boyfriend. That was fun.

"Oh... right... so it's not drugs then? No, good."

[white ginger]

right on patch :D

[The World of Dan]

OK, it's great that you've come out - well done. But I'm confused. what does the weed pipe have to do with being gay? How could she put 'you' and 'pipe' togther to equal 'gay'?

In any case, well done.

[Patch]

well basically she was getting at the whole "troubled soul drug user" thing...um...she thought that my self destructive behavior had to do with me being in the closet...which may or may not be true...i avoid analyzing my psychosis...and my mom is insane.

[rocknroll_girl]

Congratulations. Under whatever circumstances, it's so much better, and I'm so happy for you!

[Snowdancer]

Congratulations. I'm sure you will find being out to be a liberation experinece. It sounds like your Mom is also going to be supportive which is good too.

It is goofy to me that she equated smoking weed with being a lesbian but whatever. It gave an opportunity for the dialog which seems to have tuned out well.

Welcome out of the closet.

[SelfControl]

It's fairly common actually. With mine it was always "Yr gay? Oh well, at least it's not drugs", and I was like, "Well, actually..."

[Lady_Pink_Floyd]

i wish i could come out too, but, my parents wouldn't like it, and I have to pretend to like men sometimes in front of them. And if they found out, I dunno....
It sucks :-(

[Snowdancer]

There are many people your age that are too afraid to admit even to themselves that they are queer. Time will come when you can tell your parents. You'll know when it's right unless they find out on their own then it's a different issue but you being confident in yourself & your true being will help you through if they do take it badly.

i wish i could come out too, but, my parents wouldn't like it, and I have to pretend to like men sometimes in front of them. And if they found out, I dunno....
It sucks :-(

[SelfControl]

Just act like they already know, then when one of them sees you doing something lesbianic (playing pool, wearing a tracksuit, fighting, stealing my taxi a few years back, I dunno, whatever you lesbians get up to these days) and asks you, say "Oh, yeah, I'm a lesbian. No big." all cool-like. Go on, it'll be funny.

It's better to save coming out until you can do it with a bit of elan, don't embarass yrself like I did.

[Bri]

I'm very glad it went well...easy...okay.....that was , basically, like mine, the complications start later when they start trying to teach you about safe sex (for gay people which they aren't)...:-)

Brian

[SelfControl]

It's harder to hate a gay person than gay people. Not hard, but harder.

[StonerBill]

how the fuck does a weed pipe lead to being gay? do people smoke weed in your area as a means for expressing their sexuality? it makes no sense!!!!

[StonerBill]

(unless its poppers)

[peace057]

Congratulations! It can only get better from here!

[PhotoGra1]

Congratulations! It can only get better from here!

Yep....or worse...

[tom]

how the fuck does a weed pipe lead to being gay? do people smoke weed in your area as a means for expressing their sexuality? it makes no sense!!!!
Follow here buddy. A pipe doesn't lead to being gay. People often use drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or whatever else to escape from their confusion, pain, sexuality, truama, or other difficult situations in life. Mom finds pipe, wonders if daughters is smokin' to deal with her sexuality. Hits nail on the head.

[bedlam]

congratulations,, life will be much easier for you now l'm sure..:sunglasse

[SkeeterVT]

oh god...i absolutely can't believe it...i am so terrified...this is how it all went down:

i was staying at my dad's this weekend but i had to stop home for some homework stuff...my mom was home...i found her and she said, "i was cleaning your room (me in my head: holy shit...bridge of privacy...you bitch!)...and i cleaned out your headboard and i found ciggarettes and a marijuana pipe..." so in the midst of trying to semi explain myself...she asked if my drug use was due to a sexuality issue...well...playing dumb i said, "what do you mean?"...she then asks, "well are you gay?"...and with out even thinking about it (which is what really scared me) i said i was...and yeah...she didn't really react...she said she'd prefer if i weren't...but as long as i am happy...oh god...i am still in shock...and she shrugged off the drug use too! i have no idea what is going on...i'm just glad she didn't find any other stash...or my love letters...
i'm glad it's over with though.
oi.

Congratulations, Patch. Now that you mother knows, it's really good to have a heart-to-heart mother-daughter talk with her. If successful, you might try to get your mom in touch with PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) -- if your mom hasn't done so already. Their Web site is www.pflag.org (http://www.pflag.org).

[dmgreen]

Patch~ congrad's!!! sounds like you will be much happier now that it's out in the open!

[dmgreen]

i wish i could come out too, but, my parents wouldn't like it, and I have to pretend to like men sometimes in front of them. And if they found out, I dunno....
It sucks :-(
If they found out then what? I mean really, what would they do?
I have learned from experience that the truth will always come out sooner or later. When my parents found out I am bi, they flipped on me. Then I said "fuck you! if you all can't just be happy for me then I don't need you in my life!" and since then they are all good with my choice. I think they were more willing to accept my choices then to loose me forever.

[Casperthesheet]

Good for you...I'm happy to hear that you did that.

Casper

[SkeeterVT]

If they found out then what? I mean really, what would they do?
I have learned from experience that the truth will always come out sooner or later. When my parents found out I am bi, they flipped on me. Then I said "fuck you! if you all can't just be happy for me then I don't need you in my life!" and since then they are all good with my choice. I think they were more willing to accept my choices then to loose me forever.
On the other hand, Lady Pink Floyd's parents could be anti-gay religious conservatives. Under those circumstances, it may not be safe for her to come out to them. I can't tell you how many horror stories I've read of queer kids (especially boys) who got kicked out of the house by their homophobic parents after they found out.

-- Skeeter

[Patch]

um...this is kind of an old post...i was really surprised to see it resurfaced...
right now things are going kind of ok...it is still really awkward around my mom...she is very uncomfortable but at the same time we have gained a greater understanding and i would quite say a bond...but she drives me a little less up-the-wall...as for my dad...there is probably no hope...i'll just leave him in te dark untill there is no way around it.
it is awesome at my school now though...everyone knows and i really have nothing to worry about...i have come so much closer to so many people i know and everything is just comfortable...even most of my teachers know...which feels good because i don't really care that they are aware (oh god what an annoying rhyme.) My acting teacher (and really good friend) knows and is really supportive and he jokes around with me. when i tell my peers i feel like a burden is being lifted...because i don't have to think about my mom finding out.

and the weed thing...that has absolutely nothing to do with me being gay...it was just there...and i got in huge trouble for it...how she got my being a lesbian from the weed is a mystery to me...

that's my update...yay life kind of i guess...

[LOSTBOY7]

good for you mate. i am 35 just come out as bi to a long standing gay frend of 14 yers
and he told me he as all way's thort that was bi lol and i thort i hid it well. and i have allso let slip to a st8t mate and he woz cool about it

[Tokin2Creedence]

Congrats on coming out! (no matter how it happened)