son of a bitch... addiction may be creeping

[kil0]

SHIT, in the last week & a half, I've bumped up my usage of opiates from my regular once a week to like 3 times a week. And Im starting to enjoy it and practically want to do some right now, eventhough I did some last night.


The only ray of light here is that it would be extremely difficult for me to get addicted to OxyContin to the point of everyday/every other day usage for 2 reasons:
Funds. I dont know where the fuck some people get the money to suport such a habbit. Some niggas here do one or two OCs a day, and they live where 80s go for 60-80 a pop. Thats fuckin crazy, I cant even afford this addiction even though I pay like 20-30 a pop for my 80s.
Supply. Most of the members Im cool here with know my situation on the subject. I cant find roxis or OCs sometimes for like a month or two on end.
But the problem is I got some right now, so I have the opportunity to use if choose to. But I've done oxy maybe 4 or 5 days in the last 12. The good part is I cant get fully addicted because of the two reasons above, but I see a mild form of the addiction coming. I just woke up and I feel like doin some OC.

Do you fellas think I'll be straight? Should I even use right now? Regardless, both the quantities of OCs and money are very limited, so when I run out, even if I use today, Im not getting anymore for another long time. What's y'all input?

[PsyGrunge]

Well it's obviously a habit that needs kicking before it's too late, but only you can make the choice.
Question is, will you?

[RELAYER]

When the lack of funds is replaced by finding a way to make the money no matter what, then your fucked. The problem is, you are already addicted Kil0 and you just cant see it. Opiate addiction is far removed from other addictions. The way they operate is so sneaky, that if you even consider the idea that addiction is creeping in, trust me, your already there. Nobody thinks they are addicted until it's too late. You are not addicted like a dope fiend, you are addicted like I was when I used Morphine in abusive amounts twice a week for a long time. Where you are right now is ok, if you run out of funds or product and can live a normal life otherwise, not spending every last cent you make on opiates or trying to find other ways to support your desire to get some when you know you cant afford it, then you are ok. The moment you consider stealing, delay paying bills, or any other shady means to get you what you want, then you need to stop immediately.

[kil0]

The problem is, you are already addicted Kil0

You're right, I know. Basically, why else would I post this thread.

if you run out of funds or product and can live a normal life otherwise, not spending every last cent you make on opiates or trying to find other ways to support your desire to get some when you know you cant afford it, then you are ok.
Yeah, that's what Im like 99.999999% sure would happen. because..


The moment you consider stealing, delay paying bills, or any other shady means to get you what you want, then you need to stop immediately.

..I have a lot of self-control resposibility on my shoulders, so that will never happen.

[RELAYER]

..I have a lot of self-control resposibility on my shoulders, so that will never happen.

I believe you kil0. I didnt mean any offence at all, and I dont mean to imply that you would act in this way someday down the line to support a habit that you for the most part seem to have under control.
Im just saying that if you find yourself even thinking about an easy steal that no one would notice and you wouldnt get caught, that's when you have a serious problem on your hands. All Im saying is if you start thinking like that, then its time to take a deep look at what it is you want out of life that you are turning to opiates for instead, trying to fill an emty void in your heart.
I dont think negatively of you at all, and I have no reason to believe you are capable of theft or anything like that. Im just saying than any of us could go that route given the circumstances, if life suddenly got really bad for you, it's easy to turn to stealing and drug abuse when you feel backed into a corner and feel like life is ruined. Anything can happen, you know? So Im just trying to throw out a warning for you, someone I consider a friend and have respect for.
God bless

[kil0]

I believe you kil0. I didnt mean any offence at all, and I dont mean to imply that you would act in this way someday down the line to support a habit that you for the most part seem to have under control.
Im just saying that if you find yourself even thinking about an easy steal that no one would notice and you wouldnt get caught, that's when you have a serious problem on your hands. All Im saying is if you start thinking like that, then its time to take a deep look at what it is you want out of life that you are turning to opiates for instead, trying to fill an emty void in your heart.
I dont think negatively of you at all, and I have no reason to believe you are capable of theft or anything like that. Im just saying than any of us could go that route given the circumstances, if life suddenly got really bad for you, it's easy to turn to stealing and drug abuse when you feel backed into a corner and feel like life is ruined. Anything can happen, you know? So Im just trying to throw out a warning for you, someone I consider a friend and have respect for.
God bless

Dont worry bro, I took no offense whatsoever. You were just commenting on the downward spiral that could "possibly" happen.


Anyways, the whole reason for the post is, GODDAMN, last night was magical. fuck, I wanted that magical feeling to never go away :(

[Guitar]

Getting addicted to opiates is the most subtle thing , but at least your realizing your already on that path. Most people don't, I was in denial a long time about ever being addicted, just because I wouldn't get sick without them. But I still did bad things to get my drugs, which I'm ashamed to say, and something I would never do again. Opiate addiction makes you do crazy things. My old best friend, hacked into his parents account and stole over 5000 dollars and basically had them in finanicial trouble. If your already realizing the path your on, than thats a good first step. Even though you've given 2 reasons why you couldn't become addicted, that really doesn't mean shit. There's homeless people who find a way to shoot dope 24/7. So my advice would be to finish your stash, and take a couple months off so you don't see the real horrors of addiction.

[RoxStar]

.

[Guitar]

I'm with everyone above, I totally agree with what you've said relayer. Behavioral changes are really a "red flag". I've come to realization recently that I just kinda lost control for a bit. I'm embarrassed but happy that I realized that hey, I have a problem here and I'm going to work to get over it. I was actually hoping some of you guys could help me out too. Now I know that my tolerance is a joke to some of you, but I'm not a big guy at all. That being said, recently (over the past 3 weeks or so) I've been using between 20-40 mgs. of oxy a day. Now I'm prescribed 10 mgs. a day of oxycodone (perc 5's) but it's just not my DOC. I usually just pick up 40s or 80s from a friend. My problem is I love bumping my pills and with perc 5's its damn near impossible. I KNOW I won't be able to just drop cold turkey (mentally) but I'd really like to taper off. I've spent way too much money over the past month/month and a half and my general mindset has totally begun to change, that's when I noticed I needed to relax with this game. It's been a blast but times change. Does anyone know any plan I could follow? Any suggestions? How much to taper, when to taper, ect. I've searched the forums and read about other members, but their situations have been completely different than mine. I'd really appreciate any help...thanks.

PS. I didn't mean to steal any of your thunder kilo, I just didn't want to start a new thread that's all. No disrespect, I'm happy you started this thread.


I would use suboxone, try to get your hands on an 8mg pill. Since your tolerance is so low, all you will need is 1mg to start off with. One 8 mg pill could last you 10 days, and slowly decrease the amount you take. This would be the most painless way to do it in my opinion. If you can't get your hands on that, then I'd suggest just weaning down on the oxycodone, but for me thats impossible. I can't have an 80 in my hand and expect to have it last for like 4-6 days. Once I do that first bump, that pill will be gone by the end of the day. Realistically the best way to quit is cold turkey, but you must have a lot of motivation and willpower.

[Prod]

Just goes to show that you never thought you could get addicted kil0 but it can happen to anyone and slowly creeps up on you. I'm in the middle of a detox right now because I was addicted and my habit got out of control and could not afford it. If I were you I would quit while you were ahead and completely stop fucking with them at least for a little while or limit your use to way less like once every two weeks maybe or whatever because the opiate addiction is unavoidable with frequent use and will always come and bite you in the ass I don't care who you are. I have a very high IQ, go to a prestigious college for Computer Science, hold a steady job at a well known hospital, and am very strong willed and minded but that shit got me anyway. So in conclusion watch out for yourself and decide on what you think would be best for you as far as abstaining and dealing with your situation. Good luck and if you ever need to chat you can hit me up on AIM as I am going through detox at the moment and am always willing to chat.

[-beatnick]

damn dude, thats too bad.

yea, its a bitch, the sneakiest motherfucker out there in terms of addictions. other ones always just seem pretty obvious. and it happens to everyone, who thinks that they have it under control, which sucks. i've done some greasy shit back in the day for drugs, i'm not happy about it, but they really just blur your views on things. and its true, junkies on the street are able to scrounge up money for a fix so don't exclude yourself from the financial aspect of it.

and it almost always tends to go from monthly usage, to twice a month, then weekly, then a few days a week and then just further down the spiral. the fucking absolute worst part about opiates is that they slow down time like no other, maybe its just me, but like the next couple of days after no opiates feels like weeks or eternity. i think you should just take a break somehow, it might be almost impossible with your stash... but just keep busy. keep real busy. and switch it up. smoke a ton of weed if you have to, get your mind off of them. do not drink, that might just make you do more. do benzos, cocaine maybe, if you can control the comedown with something other than opiates.

this is just what worked for me when i wasn't doing or trying not to do opiates, and i can say, marijuana saved me, booze helped a bit. i don't know, just trying to help, take my advice or leave it. but honestly, Shocbomb would probably be the most help on this.

[ratgirldjh69]

i was a H addict for over 7 years. and believe me when you are sick you will find money to get more. i did things i never would have thought i was capable of doing. finally i went on methadone for 2 years and then it took me 2 months to kick that when i was finally on 5 mil. - and i mean 2 months of being sick as a dog!
so i would suggest like others have that to stop before it gets out of control and before you get too severe of w/d symptoms. taper down and then skip days and keep tapering.
good luck!
djh

[kil0]

Just goes to show that you never thought you could get addicted kil0 but it can happen to anyone and slowly creeps up on you. I'm in the middle of a detox right now because I was addicted and my habit got out of control and could not afford it. If I were you I would quit while you were ahead and completely stop fucking with them at least for a little while or limit your use to way less like once every two weeks maybe or whatever because the opiate addiction is unavoidable with frequent use and will always come and bite you in the ass I don't care who you are. I have a very high IQ, go to a prestigious college for Computer Science, hold a steady job at a well known hospital, and am very strong willed and minded but that shit got me anyway. So in conclusion watch out for yourself and decide on what you think would be best for you as far as abstaining and dealing with your situation. Good luck and if you ever need to chat you can hit me up on AIM as I am going through detox at the moment and am always willing to chat.

But my addiction is purely psychologial, not at all physical. I did oxy last night again, and still, I've never felt a lick of withdrawals in my life.

this is just what worked for me when i wasn't doing or trying not to do opiates, and i can say, marijuana saved me, booze helped a bit. i don't know, just trying to help, take my advice or leave it. but honestly, Shocbomb would probably be the most help on this.

Man definitely. If I could still smoke weed like normal without worrying about going to prison I would still be happily smokin, never trying anything else. In january when I got out on probation, thats when I started experimenting with pills and other shit 2 get high, cuz I couldnt smoke herb. But hopefully I can go back to weed-only after I get off probation.

[-beatnick]

oh damn man, that fucking sucks. that really fucking sucks, because it helps with everything. then i would just recommend enough booze to forget about the opiates for a little while and just staying busy.

[kil0]

yeah, thats pretty much what's gonna happen. atleast for one more year. Because the truth is, I kinda dont like drinking that much anymore. I still do it, but for x or y reason I just dont find it as entertaining as I used to.

[-beatnick]

well i'm saying thats the whole idea. replace something you don't like as much with something you fucking love, because it'll be easier to control you know, kind of that approach.

thats just what i'd do, but i do love alcohol.

[jaefoxy]

I really wish you guys just wouldn't use prescription pills at all. My friend was sold fake pills before and he ended up overdosing and dying. They looked normal, but I guess looks can be decieving. Oh and on top of that, his friends were with him when he died and I guess they were scared to tell anyone so they took him up to his room and put him in his bed and since they were so fucked up on pills too they stole his money and whatever pills he had locked in his safe. Like someone else has mentioned, you dont have to be a bad person to do something fucked up to feed your addiction, and you dont have to be dumb to overdose, you just never know what will happen. If you are going to do it, do it in moderation, dont make it a weekly thing, thats when it becomes routine. Just smoke some herb and be happy. Peace.


EDIT: As a matter of fact, why dont you sell your stash, and buy something you've been wanting? It's always nice to make some quick money and whatever you buy will mean more to you because the money came from you trying to help and better yourself. (I also didnt realize you couldnt smoke weed, so ignore the smoke some herb part lol. Maybe you could just try some shrooms or something every couple of months, so it's kind of something you can look forward to. I'm not trying to encourage you to try all of the drugs out there but if you feel the need to do something its better doing something natural in my mind)

[Feelings Of U4ia]

But my addiction is purely psychologial, not at all physical. I did oxy last night again, and still, I've never felt a lick of withdrawals in my life.



I never got WD's from occasional use. As soon as it starts becoming a 3-4 day a week habit, you will see. I used to think I would never have WD's either, I almost thought people were just overreacting and being a baby because they didn't have opiates. WD's are serious.

Oh yeah, and it WILL become a 3-4 day a week habit eventually, unless you quit altogether.

[-beatnick]

I really wish you guys just wouldn't use prescription pills at all. My friend was sold fake pills before and he ended up overdosing and dying. They looked normal, but I guess looks can be decieving. Oh and on top of that, his friends were with him when he died and I guess they were scared to tell anyone so they took him up to his room and put him in his bed and since they were so fucked up on pills too they stole his money and whatever pills he had locked in his safe. Like someone else has mentioned, you dont have to be a bad person to do something fucked up to feed your addiction, and you dont have to be dumb to overdose, you just never know what will happen. If you are going to do it, do it in moderation, dont make it a weekly thing, thats when it becomes routine. Just smoke some herb and be happy. Peace.

do you not understand that these are not friends, just drug buddies and fellow junkies? a real friend would've called the ambulance, stuck him in the shower, and poured buckets of iced water on him while giving him mouth to mouth. also, what the fuck are you talking about on an opiate forum, would you rather everyone here switched from any pills to heroin, because one pill was misidentified when heroin can be from 5%-~90% pure.

just read your post, it doesn't make much sense, and i'm not trying to be an ass, but like really. and its a helluva ton easier to not overdose on pills because you know exactly how much of what you're doing. and also i usually looked up the stamps on the pills to see if it was legit unless i was with some experienced friends.

EDIT: As a matter of fact, why dont you sell your stash, and buy something you've been wanting? It's always nice to make some quick money and whatever you buy will mean more to you because the money came from you trying to help and better yourself. (I also didnt realize you couldnt smoke weed, so ignore the smoke some herb part lol. Maybe you could just try some shrooms or something every couple of months, so it's kind of something you can look forward to. I'm not trying to encourage you to try all of the drugs out there but if you feel the need to do something its better doing something natural in my mind)

lol, so now you're suggesting he harm other people? i just am not understanding you here i guess, but ain't that kind of fucking evil. like if he can't control himself then yea, but not as a first suggestion, jeez.

[Feelings Of U4ia]

Fake pharmaceutical pills? Give me a break.

On top of that, I can't fucking STAND when people preach about other drugs then go on to say "just smoke some weed instead!"

God, I can't stand that shit.

Especially on a forum ABOUT other drugs. Stay in the Marijuana forums if you don't like pharmaceuticals, please.

[kil0]

I never got WD's from occasional use. As soon as it starts becoming a 3-4 day a week habit, you will see. I used to think I would never have WD's either, I almost thought people were just overreacting and being a baby because they didn't have opiates. WD's are serious.

Oh yeah, and it WILL become a 3-4 day a week habit eventually, unless you quit altogether.

I know, but I got like 2 or 3 OC40s left, and I have no way of getting more for God knows how long. And Im off my binge, Im not touching my other OCs for atleast 2-3 weeks.

[RELAYER]

do you not understand that these are not friends, just drug buddies and fellow junkies? a real friend would've called the ambulance, stuck him in the shower, and poured buckets of iced water on him while giving him mouth to mouth. also, what the fuck are you talking about on an opiate forum, would you rather everyone here switched from any pills to heroin, because one pill was misidentified when heroin can be from 5%-~90% pure.

just read your post, it doesn't make much sense, and i'm not trying to be an ass, but like really. and its a helluva ton easier to not overdose on pills because you know exactly how much of what you're doing. and also i usually looked up the stamps on the pills to see if it was legit unless i was with some experienced friends.

EDIT: As a matter of fact, why dont you sell your stash, and buy something you've been wanting? It's always nice to make some quick money and whatever you buy will mean more to you because the money came from you trying to help and better yourself. (I also didnt realize you couldnt smoke weed, so ignore the smoke some herb part lol. Maybe you could just try some shrooms or something every couple of months, so it's kind of something you can look forward to. I'm not trying to encourage you to try all of the drugs out there but if you feel the need to do something its better doing something natural in my mind)

lol, so now you're suggesting he harm other people? i just am not understanding you here i guess, but ain't that kind of fucking evil. like if he can't control himself then yea, but not as a first suggestion, jeez.

I edited out the first sentence in your post beat, but I left the rest because you are trying to share your opinion. However let this be a warning that if your going to come off at people like you will be banned. You dont need to insult people in such a degrading way to get your point across.

[-beatnick]

fine, but come on man, how are you even going to post that story and "friends" in the same paragraph. like a blind man could see through that.

[RELAYER]

fine, but come on man, how are you even going to post that story and "friends" in the same paragraph. like a blind man could see through that.

Nah I agree with you beat, Im just trying to close in on threads before they turn into flame wars as has happened many times this past 2 weeks throughout the forums.
Let's all just keep it respectful and considerate, please Im aksing everyone.

[jaefoxy]

Do you seriously think I believe those people to be his friends? If I ever saw one of those so called "friends" again, I dont even know what I would do to them, thank God I moved away from that state, for their own sake. Furthermore, I wasn't saying one drug is better than another, but obviously this guy said he had a problem so I was trying to HELP by stating my OPINION. I could care less what others do, have a wonderful time. And yeah, if he wants to stop doing it and someone else doesnt want to, why does it matter if he sells it to them? I consider everyone on this forum to somewhat of a friend so I was talking to him as I would another friend. If someone was an alcoholic and asked me to buy some from him because he couldn't control his problem is it fucked up that he asked? I think it was a good suggestion to sell it to someone else because it might be easier than throwing them away. I know people who have dug through the trash to find a pill they threw away because they thought they were quitting but changed their mind, and I also know someone who sold the rest of what they had because they wanted to quit and she used her money on some new drum sticks and now all she does is drink occasionally and play the drums. It was a way of suggesting that he could quit and turn it into something postive, not telling him to lurk in alleys and offer up pills to junkies. And actually, I didn't purposely come into the opiate forums looking for a fight or to preach. I actually clicked on "New Posts" and came across it and thought that maybe I would give some advice. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isnt that what the op was asking for? Silly me.

[jaefoxy]

And U4ia, dont act like I'm making shit up or something by saying give me a break. If you dont think people can make fake pharmaceutical pills then I really dont know what to say, because it happens all of the time from what I've heard. It's actually kind of weird that you didn't know that since you live in Florida, and that is one of the states I've heard does it the most. My friends brother lives in Tampa and he actually just got arrested for making and selling fake pharmaceutical pills, something he learned after moving to Florida and meeting a few people.

[jaefoxy]

Oh and P.S Kil0 that book you have linked in your sig sounds really interesting, I might have to get it.

[Prod]

Yeah you may not have the physical withdrawal but I think those are a fucking joke compared to the mental, that is what can bite you in the ass. I've detoxed many a time and the physical sucks but is way exaggerated - you just toughen up and do it. The mental is what has me always coming back, so I was just saying in my earlier post to watch yourself, and am just looking out for a fellow opiate user, because it can creep up on anyone and opiates are very hard to use only for recreation because if you like them you really like them and they are very addicting mentally and physically.

[Euphorial]

yea prod, I'm really starting to believe that the real hell comes from your mind. Even if you're strong willed, the psychological addiction probably blows.

I fuckin' did oxy on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and then partied over the weekend. Now, I don't have anything besides alcohol :ack2: and I really would enjoy an OC40 line.

I've heard that it can be up to 10 years for a real junkie to lose all sign of addiction.

[kil0]

Oh and P.S Kil0 that book you have linked in your sig sounds really interesting, I might have to get it.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0309085497.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

[jaefoxy]

Yes, I saw it on amazon :)

I hope everything works out for you about your problem though, you seem like a very nice person.

[kil0]

Everything will work out. People need to understand that I use drugs RECREATIONALLY. I'm in no way dependent on them. I wrote the original post saying that I thought I was addicted because I had used the night before and woke up the next day wanting to use again. And I did use last night, but I woke up today with a single craving or w/d, I've just been studying non-conservative forces and the work-energy theorem, and a buncha ethical theories like subjectivism and utilitarianism and kantism; I have midterm exams this week..

I still got a lil bit of OC left, but I'm gonna hold it down til after my next drug test next month. I think Im even gonna chill out with drinking for a while as well, see what happens after being sober for like 3 weeks.

[porkstock41]

good luck man.

and by the way, i was puzzling over

e^i times pi + 1 = 0

i guess i'll never be a first class mathematician..

[RoxStar]

.

[kil0]

good luck man.

and by the way, i was puzzling over

e^i times pi + 1 = 0

i guess i'll never be a first class mathematician..

yeah, it's an amazing equation. Its a special case of Euler's formula:

http://www.sciforums.com/cgi-bin/mimetex.cgi?e^{ix} = cos (x) + i sin(x)

when you plug in x=pi, you get the special case.

Since http://www.sciforums.com/cgi-bin/mimetex.cgi?cos (\pi) = -1 and http://www.sciforums.com/cgi-bin/mimetex.cgi?sin(\pi)=0

you get

http://www.sciforums.com/cgi-bin/mimetex.cgi?e^{i \pi} = -1

adding 1 to both sides give you the beautiful equation in my sig.

Now if you want to see how Leonhard Euler derived his formula, I can certainly show you, but you have to be able to understand a bit of calculus and infinite series/Taylor expansions.

[Prod]

Yeah I don't even really enjoy drinking myself, and am detoxing from opiates so I just stick to the nice greens and the occasional xanax when I can find them. Breaks are always good and when you come back that first line is amazing.

[Euphorial]

after a 3 month break, how much would you usually come back to? I know that I wouldn't go above 40mg without any tolerance just because of the analgesia of oxy. That gets me really fucking disoriented. If it weren't for that and the nausea I could do more at once.