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SlipInsideThisHouse
10-18-2008, 09:00 PM
This is the first poem I've ever made and I don't really like it that much but I enjoyed writing it. Every comment would be appreciated so I know what to try and improve next time. Thank you:) Oh and English isn't my mother tongue so let me know if I made any spelling errors.:D

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The truth of summer told as howlin’ lies
By silver-tongued poets and tortured souls at night
Serenade the beauty in her flowerin’ eyes
While filthy wine complicates the lover’s grace denied

As drops of dew now sooth their minds
The snow-covered silkscreen is fallin’ of the wall
Despair and hope finally entwined
Leave only passion crushed by the weight of fall

So lonesome travellers now crawl aside
For brief bliss leaves behind a wanderin’ burden
Still, like the candle lit at dawn
The innocence of spring remains uncertain

yyyesiam2
10-19-2008, 02:16 PM
i think that if you enjoyed writing this, you should keep doing it. consider yourself lucky to be able to enjoy something so potentially powerful and healing.