Autentique
09-07-2008, 03:12 AM
I used to think that I would NEVER do opiates. I also used to think I wouldnt do any drug besides weed, mushroom and LSD. The story changed when I got into the whole mind alteration experimenting. The initial curiosity of how x substance can affect the way I experience "reality", started growing into a love for thrills, not as in thrills, get me high, make me feel good, though Im sure we all love that, but as in how much can this change my mind? and I've welcomed the whole rearraging with a smile, even when things got crazy.
I used to say a lot as a kid, that I was afraid of fear, and today, as in right now this very moment. I've realized how fear and the assumptions that come with it have affected my perception on drugs so much, not only my perception on them, but how I experience them.
I think the strongest fear/rejection I've had for any drugs, has been for opiates. Initially I thought that it was nothing more than a feel good/make me "falsely" happy (and if we think about it arent they all) and there was nothing to learn from it, which contradicted my belief that there's something to learn from everything. I tried opiates for the first time on Feb, since then I've done them on 5 different occasions. My experience with it went from "not feeling anything" (do you think a mental block can stop us from experiencing the effects of a drug?), to "ok, it's very blissful", but sort of an empty bliss. To "I dont like this, it makes me hate how I feel normally", but maybe Im supposed to hate the way I feel normally and the answer is not let me do more opiates, but sit and look at life for what it is. To let them come and go and fill me with such love, a love that didnt go away with the high and left me at perfect peace. I'm not gonna lie, today I wanted to take more and of course I wanted to get high, but so much more than that. I wanted to experience them again, now that my opinion of them is so... neutral, that I cant help but feel without thinking, just accepting.
I think I've only really had this problem with two drugs, opiates and cocaine. I believe is because I perceived them as "bad" so naturally my experience with them started on the negative side.
I'm in no way advocating for opiates or any drug use. You do what you do and dont listen to me. It's always good to be careful and not abuse things, wether is drugs, candy or love :)
Keeping things balanced with love
Aura
PS: Sorry for the rambling, but sharing is caring :p
I used to say a lot as a kid, that I was afraid of fear, and today, as in right now this very moment. I've realized how fear and the assumptions that come with it have affected my perception on drugs so much, not only my perception on them, but how I experience them.
I think the strongest fear/rejection I've had for any drugs, has been for opiates. Initially I thought that it was nothing more than a feel good/make me "falsely" happy (and if we think about it arent they all) and there was nothing to learn from it, which contradicted my belief that there's something to learn from everything. I tried opiates for the first time on Feb, since then I've done them on 5 different occasions. My experience with it went from "not feeling anything" (do you think a mental block can stop us from experiencing the effects of a drug?), to "ok, it's very blissful", but sort of an empty bliss. To "I dont like this, it makes me hate how I feel normally", but maybe Im supposed to hate the way I feel normally and the answer is not let me do more opiates, but sit and look at life for what it is. To let them come and go and fill me with such love, a love that didnt go away with the high and left me at perfect peace. I'm not gonna lie, today I wanted to take more and of course I wanted to get high, but so much more than that. I wanted to experience them again, now that my opinion of them is so... neutral, that I cant help but feel without thinking, just accepting.
I think I've only really had this problem with two drugs, opiates and cocaine. I believe is because I perceived them as "bad" so naturally my experience with them started on the negative side.
I'm in no way advocating for opiates or any drug use. You do what you do and dont listen to me. It's always good to be careful and not abuse things, wether is drugs, candy or love :)
Keeping things balanced with love
Aura
PS: Sorry for the rambling, but sharing is caring :p