Broken Hands

[Burn]

Mirrors go deeper than reflections,
and so I saw through myself,
Standing there, here,
Without a thousand voices to pin me down.


There are no chains,
No underground,
To keep my spirit in the doorway of heaven,
Slipping down to abyss, one finger at a time.

I can't say what I'd love to,
My mind is too astray,
I can't breath in and smile,
Because it's all too much pain.
And the mystery taunting me,
Gone in whispering haunting,
Like the shadey tomorrow,
While today is wrapped in fog.

What holds me down...
What brings me around...

Back again, time and time to lend.


My hands are bound in emptiness,
Heart soaked in tragedy,
I'm lost in dying forests
And all I feel is end.

Pull my limbs from the deadly waters,
Push my heart another beat or two,
Cause I'm dying to live, and living to die.

[KittenX]

All good until the last stanza, which sounds a little melodramatic to me.

But I really love
Like the shadey tomorrow,
While today is wrapped in fog.
and
My hands are bound in emptiness,
Heart soaked in tragedy,
I'm lost in dying forests
And all I feel is end.
heart soaked in tragedy, dying forest, and feeling end....hmmm certainly can relate.

[fulmah]

Back again, time and time to lend.
Great work here, the beginning is quite strong and I really enjoyed your wordplay! I agree with kx, maybe cut that last stanza out? the one above it would seem to be a fantastic closer, imo! And the line I quoted, I loved loved that, fantastico! Thanks for sharing this, and I look forward to more from you :)

[saffronfrancisburnet]

hi this is so lovely the two bits here are beautiful

and yes we are all in the same baot living to die...yet alive we are
how strange to see life before death......
thank you for this piece very interesting too.


There are no chains,
No underground,
To keep my spirit in the doorway of heaven,



My hands are bound in emptiness,
Heart soaked in tragedy,
I'm lost in dying forests
And all I feel is end.

Pull my limbs from the deadly waters,
Push my heart another beat or two,
Cause I'm dying to live, and living to die.[/QUOTE]