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sylvanlightning
09-18-2004, 03:38 AM
Our attention is rich,
beyond the wealth of nations,
interwoven splendorous and poly-sensual.

I embrace the elements,
the sound of pouring rain,
dissolving into receiving earthen limbs.

Gazing at the common awe,
of droplets surging pendulous
from the forsaken awning.

This is where we used to dream,
the seizing passion of your enflamed deductions,
licking words teasing the ear to speech.

Oh, how can I describe,
the internal offerings
of this universe.

Blanketed rear window,
clustered water droplets,
so close the glass appears shattered.

Yet, shattered is not the word,
for this depth of sharing.
I say, flood me with golden heart-streams.

This rock alone I caress,
silken topography of fingerprints,
feeling like skin contours.

No smell, taste or sound,
does it emit,
yet so yielding to the touch.

I place this precious one,
in the coolness of a birdbath,
so it might vibrate with a crystalline fellow.

Mmmmm, I feel so vulnerable
under this open sky.
Everything is so glistening and continual.

fulmah
09-18-2004, 04:01 AM
Mmmmm, I feel so vulnerable
under this open sky.
Everything is so glistening and continual.
I soaked this one up, sylvan... it has to be one of my favorites from you! bravo! :)

KittenX
09-18-2004, 04:07 AM
I love the rain, I miss it here.
I want to feel it on my tongue and kissing in the rain would be so romantic...mmmm
*coughs*
Anyway I digressed, enjoyed this obviously.

"licking words teasing the ear to speech."

Very sensual...and ticklish!

sylvanlightning
09-18-2004, 04:57 AM
Fulmah, your too kind. Thanks for your consistent feedback.

sylvanlightning
09-18-2004, 05:04 AM
I love the rain, I miss it here.
I want to feel it on my tongue and kissing in the rain would be so romantic...mmmm
*coughs*
Anyway I digressed, enjoyed this obviously.

"licking words teasing the ear to speech."

Very sensual...and ticklish!

You are so evocative and warm in your welcome digressions. Thank you.

kidder
09-18-2004, 05:20 AM
I think it has potential. But first it needs a new structure. Break some of those lines down so that it falls as easily from the tongue as it did from your 'pen.' Let poems live. Allow them the locomotion to dynamically carry your ideas.

sylvanlightning
09-18-2004, 06:23 AM
If you will read some of my other poems,
you will find this structure conformed to.

In this particular case I wanted to express long lingering lines...
it conveys abundant giving,
caressing and enfolding like lovers of the moment.

Life and living, Namaste, my equal brother.
May your locomotion and dynamic ideas carry you to the nether regions.

"A quark of God, filled with joy for this space to become being;
With you as One." ~*sylvan

littleskinny
09-18-2004, 12:51 PM
"droplets surging pendulous" Nature's obsceneity. This piece was so complete, so sensual, so tangible. Truly seductive..... and the spacing worked well for me - you achieved your aim of forcing the reader to linger over the described sensations, to savour them and roll them round the tongue awhile before moving on to the next morsel!

sylvanlightning
09-19-2004, 03:15 AM
"droplets surging pendulous" Nature's obsceneity. This piece was so complete, so sensual, so tangible. Truly seductive..... and the spacing worked well for me - you achieved your aim of forcing the reader to linger over the described sensations, to savour them and roll them round the tongue awhile before moving on to the next morsel!

Thank you, littleskinny. Your responses are poetry in and of themselves.
Your passionate perception is so clear and articulate.