- The Impersonal And The Personal -

[RELAYER]

So this weekend on Saturday, I took 6 hits, my wife took 5, and our friend took 4. I am the only one with previous experience.
Anyway the first 5 hours I can barely recall, in between ego/body seperation and trying to remain in the present. What I do remember is not only the initial battle of seperation where I was shown the typical 2 snakes wrapping around each other and touching and seperating constantly, but during the peak the impersonal and the personal controller were acting the same way.
The acid started working almost immediatley after eating it, maybe 5 minutes and I was being thrown down into it very fast. It was like my consciousness started bubbling out into the alternate realities and then I completley entered into everything. I was no longer me, but everything, and there was no me to go back to, because as everything, what was all happening was like a screen that was passing by and selections were picked up and zoomed into.
During the peak I remember thinking in my head "Oh My God" haha and it was the sound of my synthesizer reverberating, and when the word God rolled out, everything went completley white and slowly black pixels started popping up, and reality broke back in. My consciousenss started bubbling back into myself and I seperated again out of being everything, and slowly my memory started coming back to me.
Once again I had to shake my wife and get her to tell me that this is the human reality, am I really wearing clothes, am I talking to you now, are we here, are we dead, etc. etc.
This exact thing happened during our last mushroom trip, however the mushroom trip brought it on MUCH worse and much more painful.
Then the remaining 5-6 hours were wonderful, the magic hours, listening to music and playing with energy and just talking and having fun.
I made the dumb mistake of underestimating the acid because of the source. Definitley was not in the condition to drop 6 hits of acid that extremely potent, but in the midst of the insanity I had a breif encounter with the impersonal and the personal and saw how the battle rages on eternally.
Too bad the initial 5 hours were so painful and overwhelming that I cant remember most of it. Sounds and smells and tastes and visions were just beeping by on the screen in the impersonal eye and much of it was just kalaidescope madness.
I'll be sure to drop 2 or 3 hits next week and get the synthesizer out after the peak.
God Bless everyone +

[Autentique]

It certainly was too much. I wish I remembered more of it and my thoughts were more organized, but everything was so overwhelming.
My senses were definitely amplified and my initial visuals were of millions of tiny flowers blossoming continuously, that seemed to expand and contract with every sound I heard. I dont know if you noticed when I was in the couch that I kept waving my hand slowly and looking at it. I felt like I was manipulating the visuals I was having, creating more with movement, but it wasnt like I was just seeing trails from my hand moving, it was complete geometrical shapes that would start in my hand and grow across the room. All these things made the room feel heavy and moving from one place to the other, felt almost like I was swimming through them, not only the visuals, but sound too.
I forgot to tell you that when it was only you and me. I kept thinking/feeling like the world had ended and we were stuck in this tiny residue of matter that escaped. I think I started thinking that when I realized that none of the things I thought were happening were really happening, but they had felt so real to me that in my mind the only reason why it wasnt, was because we were all that was left of the world. I know that's a very selfish thought, but :o

[RELAYER]

I dont think that's a selfish at all, just a playful one!
The same happened when we took mushrooms, I thought time had stopped and then was going in reverse as the universe was collapsing in on itself and just you and I were watching it, then it went forward again the reality put itself back together. When your tripping that absolutley hard you tend to not be able to even remember that you took a psychedelic! haha

[Autentique]

I dont think that's a selfish at all, just a playful one!
The same happened when we took mushrooms, I thought time had stopped and then was going in reverse as the universe was collapsing in on itself and just you and I were watching it, then it went forward again the reality put itself back together. When your tripping that absolutley hard you tend to not be able to even remember that you took a psychedelic! haha

I know, I completely forgot I was tripping and felt like I had slipped into a parallel dimension and that we were going to be forever stuck in it, but that was good, because we were alive and we werent going to jail :p

[Mr.Writer]

Nice Relayer, I still haven't experienced ego loss on acid, never had it strong enough. Getting some nice gels soon.

[RELAYER]

Yea, this time was definitley too strong. I mean, for the situation I was in that night.
I guess since it's happened to me so many times, now it happens so quickly and naturally that I have no choice. But it was during the comeup that was intense, I mean my thoughts were going so fast and were so profound that I really was not comfortable with it. Had it come on slower and given me time to adjust my connection with my thoughts I would have been ok. But I was staring into the nature of reality and I just went too deep, too fast. Not a bad experience, just very overwhelming and therefor my memory of most of it is all gone :tongue:
God Bless +

[Shapeshifter]

First of all, I am happy to see that you two are together. I remember long time ago our little discussion about love, and I am so happy that you actually let somebody to love you again.
Another thing that I am so happy about is that Authentique finally tried this sacred potion.
Ok, now back to your trip. What I think happened (beside strong dose) was that you two tried to think too much and than you got that overwhelming strong madness to kill the logic and let the soul wonder around. I know exactly what you tried to explain by Impersonal and personal, it reminds me a lot of my trip with acid and Kethamine: http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=288297

I also thought that I can not remember things from that trip, but with the time, if you continue talking to each other about that trip, things will come back to you. They come back even after few years, but they come back when you (or the person you are talking to) are ready to recognize them. I understand your care about others who are trying acid for the first time, and you try to concentrate on how they are doing and that doesn't leave enough of your space to properly let go the logic and travel with your soul. And what acid does than? - It desintegrate you completely, and than it let you gather part by part back. Thats why, with the dose you took, I recomend eighter 3 hits of DMT on your peak, or a huge line of Kethamine. When you come back from that, lsd is just mild happy feeling with plenty of nice visuals (at least it looks mild).
Now, to the important thing, why on Saturday (I also took quite a nice dose) I was all the time thinking of you and Placid Pete? I felt your presence in "my room", and I almost saw you two, but not the faces, only auras. With you, you looked happy, but Placid Pete, I am not sure that something very beautifull was happening to him. It is hard to explain, that place is not my room, or house,it is some place where we all gather, even without knowing, like a command centre and everything you do is directed from there, only this time we were getting our instructions in person, all together. I hope you can understand a bit what I am talking about, but your PM actually made me jump from PC when I saw it. Immidiatelly, memories from the trip came back. Its very weird but beautiful, just another prove that we are not just imagining things, if you know what I mean. I just knew that something is happening to you and him. Did you by any chance mention or thought about me on that trip? I am now very curious to know.
I'll talk to you later more, I am still on work and i have to go to do something.
Love you all!

[RELAYER]

Wow that is awesome Shapey :)
I cant really recall if I thought of you exactly, I mean I did think of our forums and when I was going into the peak of the trip I was feeling like we, all of us, were plugging in (but surely many of us were asleep or not tripping haha, you know what I mean) but my memory is so fuzzy because most of that time was just visions of bursting catcus and snakes and liquids blending together and I just had to wait for it to pass by so I could focus again.
Aura and I took a lighter (MUCH! lighter) dose last night, with another friend who has taken it before, and just had a fun, silly trip. We walked to the grocery store and got to experience being outside during the last hours of sunshine, and then played around with the synthesizer (I got the speaker to work!) and watched our funny shows on computer and television and just laughed together.
Your right though, that I tried to be 'with' Aura and my friend on Saturday and still the acid just completley disintegrated me. I was worried that I sort of failed my attempt at a role of keeping things together when I was the one who went the farthest away, but in the end we were all happy and ok, and I just had to go through whatever it is that I went through, which like you said Im sure will peice together and make more sense as my regular state of mind allows it all to sink in and process.
God Bless +

[Shapeshifter]

One thing that can help you recollect what was happening is to try to remember the feelings. Plenty of people concentrate on visuals and sound and that tend to blur the whole expirience. Try to remember what were you feeling, strong like pressure on your upper stomack, than spreading to the chest, like somebody is squeezing your lungs and than feeling no body, weight, nothing. In between those feelings, you had most probably few other feelings. Try to remember those and you will remember what happened. Let me say it again ( I always say that), remember feeling of love and follow its constant increase throughout whole night, but try to switch off rational thinking, just the messages of your soul. Don't think what you saw, or heard, try to concentrate on those things that you just plain knew. Basically high acid dose blurs all your primal sences, so you can find something to hold on, something other than those 5 sences, thats what you are looking for. Talk to Aura about those feelings, she will help you solve the puzzle, same way like you will help her solve her puzzle. Both of you have peaces of puzzle and it can be solved only if you exchange what you have. That is an advantage when you trip with somebody you love, you keep pushing each other and both are progressing much faster than anyone alone. Belive me on this one, you know my wife and what we achieved together, but none of us would be capable of doing it alone. Complete trust is essential, and the more ways you guys find to open to each other, stronger that trust and love becomes. If you never watched "The Celestine Prophecy", please do. There are so many "little" things in that movie, that they form a complete guideline for psychonaut. One of the biggest is that if you want something you give it. Basically what ever you expect for yourself (hopefully the best) try to give those things to people you love, and they will come back to you.
Again this work, whenever I start writing something important, somebody just inerupts me.
Talk to you later!
Peace and Love!