"I can't come into work today because..."

[Oneness]

You remember the game

I can't come into work today because

I'm on fire!

[BBAD]

because Ive gone crazy

[farmout]

Yeah, its back....:-)

Cain't work, my thumbs are now penius's.....:-)

[BBAD]

My car wont start

http://www.wetasschronicles.com/IceStormCar.jpg

[farmout]

BBad borrowed my horsie and he hain't come back yet....:-)

[BBAD]

Im in bad shape today........................severe allergies to horses

[Oneness]

I just pooped

[BBAD]

Because my bud just pooped on me

[farmout]

my hayfield is on fire.....:-)

[Lookit!]

I have anal glaucoma...
Just can't see my ass coming in to work today.

[Severely stoned]

I just smoked an 8th by myself

[BBAD]

Because I want to watch the firefly marathon on sci-fi channel

[Eskimo101]

because i have hairy diarehea

[BBAD]

because I have THEBURNINGRINGOFFIRE...aka hotsaucediarhea

[Oneness]

Im afraid of the creepy twins from "the Shining"

[BBAD]

I'm chasing Elvis

[farmout]

I just went on strike...:-)

[BBAD]

because its too nice out to waste the day working

[Oneness]

my breath stinks

[BBAD]

^It always stinks:p




Because I had an awesome night and my parts are way too sore to even walk to the car

[nakedtreehugger]

because i ate fat free chips and now have anal leakage.

[BBAD]

because my car has one of them yellow boot thingies on the tire and $9542 worth of parking tickets

[Oneness]

my cat died

[BBAD]

My car broke a fan belt.....................think there may have been a cat under the hood when I started it

[OlderWaterBrother]

I only had a dollar to live on till next monday but I spent it all on something for my mind,

[Oneness]

I am the new king of Pride Rock

[BBAD]

someone stole all my clothing.............and you do not want to see me naked

[Oneness]

I fell down a well

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm busy trying to think up something to post on the "I can't come into work today because..." thread at hipforums.

[Oneness]

My quickie turned out to last a lot longer

[BBAD]

^Im next

[OlderWaterBrother]

The sky is falling!

[BBAD]

My mom died.............................................. .................................................a gain

[Oneness]

I started on the longest monkey bars in the world, I dont know when im going to be able to get off.....

[OlderWaterBrother]

The train don't run by here no more.

[vasik]

Because im happy hippie.

[farmout]

I'm on a wilderness adventure in Alaska, (in the background you can hear) hey! Turn up the damn jukebox.....:-)

[Oneness]

I lost a tooth.

[BBAD]

im busy diggin a tunnel to the house across the street for no reason at all

[OlderWaterBrother]

I've been a very baaaad boy!

[BBAD]

Today's a holiday.........it's Festivus day

http://www.binarywolf.com/blog/images/festivus-card.gif

[Oneness]

I can't find my stapler

[BBAD]

because my bike has a flat

http://www.all4humor.com/images/files/Bike%20Fattie.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm going over to farmout's and see if I can get in on a wilderness adventure in Alaska.

[BBAD]

cant go to work today...........gotta check out the lawnmower races

http://nwlmra.org/albums/Race_Images/Flying_Daz.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

The Swedish Bikini Team bus broke down in front of my house.

[BBAD]

because I died and Im busy heading into the light

http://chromatism.net/cfsgimg/busy.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm waiting to see what kind of picture BBAD will put with his next post.

[Oneness]

Im eating a helicopter

[OlderWaterBrother]

I've got to meet my maker.

[BBAD]

because Im too tired after spending the night looking for OWB's maker


https://www.cartoongallery.com/Webstore/images/P/45045.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

I've got to follow the yellow brick road.

[BBAD]

Because I played soccer yesterday.....and was in the wrong place at the wrong time

http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/funny_soccer.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm looking for the Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow.

[BBAD]

I had a bar-b-q accident............and I'm gonna have to hide for a while

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm not working for the MAN anymore.

[Oneness]

I am the Man

[BBAD]

Because I have to pee......................................i have to pee some stones

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm getting ready to fly south for the winter.

[Subliminal89]

I smoked to much pot

[Oneness]

I didn't smoke enough pot

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm waiting for the drugs to take affect.

[BBAD]

Im busy planning my "going postal" plan for next tuesday

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm going to go look for Born25YearsTooLate to see why he hasn't been posting in the new "I can't come into work today because..." thread.

[BBAD]

I had another Zipper accident

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm supposed to come to work today?

[BBAD]

^Thats right....its sunday.....a day of rest..........and Im staying home to rest

[OlderWaterBrother]

I got into a philosophical discussion with xexon and Sign Related at the same time on hipforums and I’m not sure I exist any more!

[farmout]

BBAD dropped by and we got toasted......:-)

[BBAD]

I smell toast....................and thats not a good thing

[Oneness]

Im inside of a whale!

[BBAD]

Its way too hot out......and I'm getting chaffed

[Oneness]

A chaffed so hard my my ass and thighs are bleeding!!

[OlderWaterBrother]

Well, I'd rather not talk about.

[BBAD]

Because.....I'm busy searching for the true riches of who I am and not the value of what I possess and where I am is right here....right now.

[farmout]

someone spiked my homebrew and I slept for two weeks....:-)

[OlderWaterBrother]

I just got home from working yesterday!

[orison319]

because someone sent me some acid drops on a phone book in the mail and I dont know where they put it at on the paper.. I had to eat the whole book and Im shitting numbers and names like a mofo..

[BBAD]

I cant come to work today because as I walked along the sidewalk this morning ....a psycho squirrel jumped out at me and zapped me with some kind of bolt of lazy lightning

[orison319]

Some nutty machanic from Canada put my trasmission in backwards and I put the car in drive and backed up into a tree...

[BBAD]

Some weird American backed up his car into my tree-house

[junglejack]

Im feeling a liitle down, but your all welcome to come over here & get happy with me

[BBAD]

Now I cant come to work because I got that "come on get happy" Partridge song repeating over and over in my brain

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm skipping down cobble stones.

[Oneness]

my marriage is falling apart, my 18 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old biker, my son has depression and is failing in school, and Ive lost all sense of why I even went to law school for this job, because now that I've finally arrived, I feel more empty then I did when I started.

[BBAD]

Im just going to stay home and watch Archie Bunker re-runs

[orison319]

our old LaSalle broke down...


those were the days.....

[OlderWaterBrother]

I've seen the light!

[Oneness]

ive learned to fly, I dont need you guys anymore

[orison319]

I crash landed..

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm in a traffic jam on the way to work and it looks like I won't get to work till tomorrow.

[orison319]

I: wipes with a leaf and Im all itchy...

[Oneness]

Pog convention

[ZanyChew]

i have explosive, frothy, diarriah

[farmout]

I thot it wuz Saturday man....:-)

[OlderWaterBrother]

I blew out a sneaker, Man!

[farmout]

I tried to sneak out a little fart, but wow, what a mess now....:-)

[Eskimo101]

i died

[OlderWaterBrother]

You only go around once in life!

[orison319]

need bail..

[Oneness]

I dont feel like youll need me in today

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm going up country, got to get away!

[farmout]

I tasted way too much of my homebrew.....:-) hiccup...

[Oneness]

Im going up to the country, baby dont you wanna go. I'm going to some place that ive never been before.

[farmout]

I got beans in my britches....:-)

[Son of Peace]

the sunrise is calling man, I gotta answer that call or my life may always be meaningless shit over an' over again ya dig?

[BBAD]

Work??.........whats thats is

[OlderWaterBrother]

I was born in the back seat of a Grayhound Bus, rolling down highway 41!

[Wormed]

...cause i hate by fuckin' job ;)

[Son of Peace]

i had a strange after death experiance and now that I'm alive again I realize you cats have no idea how life works and that I need to get out and be free!

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm trying to figure out why 7-11 has locks on their doors.

[Son of Peace]

I'm trying to decide the best way to... Uhh man I'm like soo high so could we just discuss this at another time? How bout Saturday, lunch at Poppa Johns? Ya dig?

[OlderWaterBrother]

I have a date with an angel!

[BBAD]

I have to follow OWB on his date with a girl called Angel......who works for "DATELINE NBC TO CATCH A PREDATOR with Chris Hanson"

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm being set up!

[BBAD]

I got tired of Zipping up my skin......so I switched to button fly......got arrested this morning for "hanging 10" at the bus stop.

[OlderWaterBrother]

The house is surrounded and I'm not coming out!
Come and get me Coppers!

[farmout]

I got my lawn chair out, beer in the cooler, outside owb's house watchin the drama unfold...:-)

[OlderWaterBrother]

My mistake it was the house next door so now I'm outside sharing a brew with farmout watchin the drama unfold...:-)

[Son of Peace]

i need to go watch the drama down the street with owb an' farmout. Peace man

[BBAD]

Holy crap......my house it surrounded by cops.....I heard them earlier,but I thought they after that old fart next door

[Oneness]

a dingo ate my baby

[BBAD]

Got to stay home between 9am and 9pm......got an appointment with the Ghostbusters

http://blog.wired.com/games/images/2008/04/28/ghostbusters_march_favs_4.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

The pizza just came.

[BBAD]

Jerry Springer marathon......cant miss that

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm going fishin'

[Born25YearsTooLate]

Me and my girlfriend broke up and I'm not done polishing my gun collection and getting drunk yet.

[BBAD]

I gotta go talk a Texan into not going postal over his girlfriend leaving

[OlderWaterBrother]

I just figured out that it's costing me more to work for you than you've paying me!

[AELcocholic]

i shot my boss and now i am in jail

[BBAD]

I'm the Boss and I go to work when I want to go to work if I want to work

[nakedtreehugger]

because i quit last week. i just forgot to tell you.

[Son of Peace]

Sir I regret to inform you that I am going to be inhibited from coming into work for you anymore. It seems that scientists have discovered an advanced civilization of sea monkies in the deep Atlantic ocean. Due to past expertise an' a keen sense of sea monkiness, I have been elected to go as an ambassador for the USA to speak with these beings.

[BBAD]

I'm gonna stay home today and enjoy some downhome Bass Thumping from the heart

[crummyrummy]

Its not quite the right time yet.

[OlderWaterBrother]

I shot the Sheriff but I did not shoot the Deputy!

[crummyrummy]

Pressed Rat is hiding in my bushes.

[BBAD]

I was listening to some real good music last night and became convinced I didn't need to go to work.......Because I have a Satisfied Mind

[Born25YearsTooLate]

Hey boss, I'm getting over my girlfriend by shagging your wife. Don't come home for at least 12 more hours.

[BBAD]

Gonna stay home and hide in the closet.....I think someones shaggin' my wife

[Born25YearsTooLate]

(is glad I don't work for BBAD)

I'm calling around to find a mannequin to use as a spear target. Now where did I leave that roman armor?

[OlderWaterBrother]

I wasn't born yesterday!

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm recruiting OlderWaterBrother to go to Farmout's with me for a couple hay bales, since I can't find a mannequin.

[BBAD]

Going to B25YTL's place to make sure he doesn't shoot arrows straight up in the air just to see what....or who they hit on the way down

[Born25YearsTooLate]

(hahaha...I suck with a bow)

I'm waiting behind the gate to scare the piss out of BBAD with an air horn when he shows up.

[BBAD]

Because I'm driving cross country and I'm loading my supersoaker watergun with piss because B25 thinks I dont know hes hiding behind the gate :)

[Born25YearsTooLate]

(thinks maybe I should talk someone else into using the air horn)

since it's going to take BBAD all day to get here, I'm running the smoker. Brisket, ribs, chickens, beer, weed and oldies tunes.

[BBAD]

(drove to Texas once...took 3 days:o )

Cant go to work...I'm too hungry

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I've already put in my shift, and I'm smoking a brisket, a couple whole chickens, and a sausage roll (nicknamed a fatty on the bbq board I'm on...amusing as all hell..anyway it's a chub of breakfast sausage, rolled up around a filling, this particular one made of diced jalapenos, red pepper, some diced onion, and raspberry preserves) and a shitload of link sausage...got some beer and some music going.

[BBAD]

Today I'm pretending im chinese....so technicaly...today is tomorrow or yesterday....so either I've already been to work.....or Ill show up tomorrow

[OlderWaterBrother]

The door just fell off my car!

[farmout]

Gotta help owb fix his door hinge, don't want him fallen out of his ride....:-)

[OlderWaterBrother]

Farmout just showed up to help fix my car door and he talked me into going to visit his cabin so I won't be in tomorrow either.

[orison319]

Im showing up to teach them 2 numbskulls punctuality and how to avoid absenteeism in the workplace...Ill be out of the office for a couple days.

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm carting a hundred pounds of finished bbq, a pair of kegs, an elbow of dank, and a half dozen good looking hippie girls up to farmout's place. I don't think I'll be back for a week.

[farmout]

I got the pond all cleaned out, ready fer skinny dippin....might need more'n a week off tho, gotta recuperate as well.....:-)

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm having too good a time, and it's my day off! ha!

[BBAD]

I was drivin into work and ran over someones car door.....blew out two tires....so i drove back home

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I have to break the news to olderwaterbrother that somehow his favorite door fell off again, and is now, apparently, roadkill. (gets out hash)

[BBAD]

Its raining and I dont want to get my skin wet

[farmout]

Well boss, Born 25 years too late showed up with all those goodies, mights as well call in slick err sick for the next two dang weeks.....:-)

[BBAD]

Im retarded for today..............oops I mean I'm retired for today

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I can't get cell phone reception out here at farmout's. I'm not on verizon.

[BBAD]

I'm gonna stay home today because someone called me el muerte.....;-)

[Born25YearsTooLate]

(falls over laughing) that WAS messed up.

I have to brush and floss my cat, and I have a leopard.

[OlderWaterBrother]

Farmout and Born25YearsTooLate talked me into staying at the cabin for another week.

[Born25YearsTooLate]

the half dozen stoned drunk girls I brought to the cabin are holding me hostage.....no...really!

[BBAD]

I'm heading south to north Texas.....to free those girls

[Son of Peace]

I'd rather just join em man

[BBAD]

because its rainin cats an dogs.........and I'm allergic

[OlderWaterBrother]

of a hang gliding accident.

[Born25YearsTooLate]

gotta extract olderwaterbrother from the tree and take him to get checked out.

[farmout]

Tried to warn you guys after that second keg, don't go up in that dang hang glider,
now I gotta miss more work tryin to help born25yearstoolate extricate OWB from the pine tree, needles everywhere....:-)

[crummyrummy]

I told those fucks down at the office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!

[BBAD]

because today is the first day of the rest of my life.....and I'ma going to celebrate it

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm tangled in the remains of a hang glider..

[Oneness]

I drew a picture of muhammad.

[BBAD]

because Im busy building a time machine

[Born25YearsTooLate]

hey bbad, when you get finished, I need dropped off two years ago.

[BBAD]

^LOL I'm aiming for 32 years ago myself


because today Im pretending to be in australia....and well you remember

[Son of Peace]

because I just discovered a volcanic tunnel that leads into..... The Center Of The Earth, man. I think there may be some reall groovy shit down there so I'mma go check it out.

[BBAD]

I m gonna go spellunking too

[farmout]

Hey BBAD, I need a ride to 1969 in your time machine, I left something there.....Of course, I won't be in to the job site....:-)

[BBAD]

because my eyes are sore and I'd only scare everyone anyways

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/Tallsonofagun/CryptKeeperBloodShotEyes.jpg

[farmout]

talk about a bad hair day....:-)

Gotta go help BBAD straighten out his hair and skin problems, not to mention the red eyes...:-)

[BBAD]

I got family over and I have to stay home to guard my stuff

[eagle86100]

I worked with a guy named Frank (Last name withheld) who every time he didn't feel like coming to work he would come up with an excuse. So one day we made a list of all his excuses. And it goes like this....

I can't come to work today because:

1.....I ran over my neighbour's cat.
2.....It's Christmas and I'm a catholic.
3.....It's St Patrick's day and I'm Irish.
4.....I dropped my bllow-dryer in the bath-tub and I'm all shook up.
5.....It's Martin Luther King's day.
6.....I have to take my dog to the vet...etc.

[farmout]

I gotta fix the wheels on my skate board....:-)

[BBAD]

someone stole my bike chain

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I've gotta make BBAD a new bike chain, then floss my brain.

[Son of Peace]

because I saw the white rabbit and learned of wonderland. My name was Alice but now even it means nothing...

[Born25YearsTooLate]

It seems son of peace has been into the mad hatter's tea again......

I'm reading my dilbert books

[farmout]

I gotta go in to the school of hard knocks with born25yearstoolate....:-)

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm making pot capsules for 'stealth stonage'

http://www.gardenscure.com/420/marijuana-cooking/52152-marijuana-capsules.html

[farmout]

http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc217/farmout_2007/beer-1.jpg?t=1218493812 Pic of the farm party, and why I can't come in to work.......:-0

[BBAD]

I cant come in cause I just pissed myself when I saw that Keg spout

[farmout]

One of the events at the farm party, and some of the hippy chicks born25yearstoolate brought with him....:-0 and do I need another reason not to come in to work....:cheers2:
http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc217/farmout_2007/hippy_cave_girls.gif?t=1218495201

[Born25YearsTooLate]

hells no...and I can't leave either..hehehe

[farmout]

Uh-oh, I think Ive drunk myself blue...no work again...:-)
http://images.burningman.com/gallery/raspas.2628.jpg

[Born25YearsTooLate]

looks like too much collidial silver, farmout....

I'm making a huge batch of kettle corn

[BBAD]

I tried to go to work but someone with a badge put this on the door

http://hoboken411.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/hoboken-stop-work-notice-washington-convenience.JPG

[orison319]

Cause im gona be on maury....

some bitch is claiming Im the kids daddy..

he dont even look like me....." you know what Im saying, you
Feel me you feel me.... what what what.... you know what Im saying.. you feel me.."

[BBAD]

because Ive fallen..........and I cant get up

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm contemplating my navel.

[OlderWaterBrother]

...of low flying aircraft

[Son of Peace]

because I love my country not my nation.

[Meretrix]

Just tell the truth =P

I can't come into work today because I am tripping my f**king balls off. :D

[crummyrummy]

I caught the 'thrax.

[Born25YearsTooLate]

crummy's picture of zeus scared my cat.

[crummyrummy]

The paradigm shift is too great, and I must make sure my thinking stays outside the box.

[BBAD]

if i told you.......id have to kill you

[farmout]

I got somethin in my eyes.....:-)
http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh172/charlessummer/UGLY%20PICS/watchingyou.jpg (javascript:void(0);)

[BBAD]

I have a headache

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/02/photogalleries/wip-week66/images/primary/5_arrow_461.jpg

[farmout]

I'm tired of this shit.....:-0
http://www.weird-websites.com/Pictures/AwfulJob/awfuljob1.jpg

[Born25YearsTooLate]

because life's a pain in my ass atm.

[BBAD]

I Quit

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rni/lowres/rnin113l.jpg

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm organizing a get-together from all of us who've decided to tell the boss to go lube himself with styptic and screw a cactus.

[farmout]

Ive got something on my mind....:-0
http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg119/speedgoofy/image03m.gif

[BBAD]

^ nice..:-}


I cant go in today...I got to go see about a girl

[farmout]

Its toooo hot.......WAAAAAAA
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk217/crpryor/dog_ears.jpg

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm making stew.

[BBAD]

theres too much lightning.....and today is my suit of armour wearing day

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I attract lightning. I'm staying inside today.

[BBAD]

everything smells like burnt toast

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm having to jolt BBAD back to life. His burnt toastiness is smelling up the place....lol

[Son of Peace]

I have gone to find myself.... if I should get back before I return keep me here man.

[BBAD]

because I was trying to refill my little propane bottle for free and well..........if you seen the latest news in Toronto..sorry guys

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44910000/jpg/_44910268_blast512.jpg

[farmout]

gotta make a beer run to town....:-)
http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh203/justin15475/horse.jpg

[BBAD]

Gotta call the city crews to come pickup all the horseshit off my car

[Son of Peace]

Gotta grab my moped an' race farmout for beer...:D

[farmout]

there is a problem at the farm party... its gotten completely out of control...:-)
http://i527.photobucket.com/albums/cc356/op-pirateking/aliens.jpg

[BBAD]

because Im bringing Farmout to get his tattoo finished today

http://brainlessworld.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/redneck_belly.jpg (http://brainlessworld.wordpress.com/2007/11/28/818/759/)

[OlderWaterBrother]

I've gone to look for America.

[BBAD]

because "New Orleans is sinkin man and I dont wanna swim"

[Son of Peace]

cause I discovered America an' OWB is on his way for the offical first signin' of the stoners constitution of the U.S.S.A

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm looking for a way out.

[bekyboo52]

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/../forums/images/editor/separator.gifbecause i am standing up to the facist government of.....Canada?

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm looking for farmout and OWB

[BBAD]

because Im busy trying to come with new ideas for this game

[crummyrummy]

The dog is humping my leg, and I think he really needs to finish this time.

[BBAD]

I was siphoning gas out of a winnebago......and I swallowed a bit.....from the wrong tank

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm taking Bbad to get his stomach pumped, and then planting a 50 pound bag of pot seeds

[BBAD]

Im heading to Texas to see what all the hype is about this pot everyone talks about

http://www.fresh99.com/images/funnyweedpics/baby-smoking-pot.jpg

[nakedtreehugger]

cause i'm laughing so hard at that fat fucking baby smokin a joint. too damn funny

[BBAD]

Im having a hot tub party...care to join

http://images.commentfarm.com/images/f71fe768-301f-4af4-8d29-602afcb5ba4b.jpg

[OlderWaterBrother]

I'm playing hide and seek with Born25YearsTooLate.

[Born25YearsTooLate]

I'm looking for OWB

[OlderWaterBrother]

All last night I dreamt that I was working and now I'm too tired to come in.

[orison319]

Im winning a gold medal in my wade pool..

[BBAD]

I'm going to stay home and watch the Olympics...................................not