the sex before mariage.

[shivo]

Is sex before mariage a sin???

[xexon]

The idea that it's a sin comes from another rule, thou shall not steal.

Many cultures used to encourage sex before marriage because it helped in the process of determing if that person was right for you or not. Also, once you got sex "out of the way", you could concentrate on getting to know the person better. I suspect the divorce rate was lower by that method than the way we do it today.

As a Christian, you have to decide what has more substance to you. Words in an ancient book, or what you feel within the heart.


x

[LanSLIde]

Tricky little question. Lust, or dehumanization of others (through using them) are both sins, certainly. Can you have sex before marriage without participating in either sin?

Yeah, I think you can.

[eponabri]

Is sex before mariage a sin???

Are you giving it or taking it?

[eponabri]

Oops, sorry, I didn't see that this was for Christian's only, so I will be on my way.

Are you giving it or taking it?

[xexon]

I'm not a Christian. But I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. :)



x

[shivo]

The thing is im a virgin,and sex is not for me a lust.i really want to know if I ll make sex,it will be consider a sin??

[shivo]

And im a christian.

[xexon]

Here comes the test of faith.

A belief is easy until you find yourself at a crossroads. You must choose one or the other.

Any religion is a product of what other people believe. True religion, is what you believe.

Jesus would encourage you to search your heart for the answer.

Don't think, FEEL.


x

[eponabri]

In all seriousness... I use to be a Christian.

When it comes to sex, and it being a sin, I think you need to decide that for yourself. Many people were raised to believe that sex even after marriage was still a sin. They were literally damned if they do, and damned if they don't. And if you were a Catholic, you received the mixed messages that you must have lots of children, but don't have sex other than for reproducing babies, and if you do, make sure you don't enjoy it. It can be very confusing.

If YOU feel it's a sin to have sex before you are married, then for it you will be a sin. I personally don't believe sex is not a sin either way, as long as both partners are consenting, old enough to understand the responsibilities, and have a strong emotional bond with one another. You can be married to someone and not have these things, and I think in the eyes of God that is more of a sin.

You should never have sex with someone who is pressuring you into it... to prove your love for them. If they truly loved you, or at least cared about you, they would be patient and not push.

I'm not saying that sex for purely lust's sake is wrong. But you do need to go into it with that mindset. If you have sex with someone and then start to believe and act that they have a made a comment to you and belong to you, just by the act of sexual intercourse.. that is more of a sin, because it ends up being an act of greed.

So, sex in and of itself is not sinful. But your reasons for having and how, when and with whom you do so, is what makes a sin.

Does that make sense?

And im a christian.

[Okiefreak]

If you can do it without a high risk of getting pregnant or spreading a disease, and if you're mutually agreeable, respectful of each other, in love, and ready to take the leap to commitment, I don't see the problem. Of course, those are big ifs. I don't believe in casual sex. I've heard of studies that indicate that people who shack up together before marriage have a lower chance of staying together afterwards, maybe because the novelty has worn off. But I think there's something to be said for testing sexual compatibility before making a permanent commitment.

[eponabri]

My husband and I didn't live together before we got married, but we were sexually active in the year we were dating. We've now been married for 29 plus years.

If you can do it without a high risk of getting pregnant or spreading a disease, and if you're mutually agreeable, respectful of each other, in love, and ready to take the leap to commitment, I don't see the problem. Of course, those are big ifs. I don't believe in casual sex. I've heard of studies that indicate that people who shack up together before marriage have a lower chance of staying together afterwards, maybe because the novelty has worn off. But I think there's something to be said for testing sexual compatibility before making a permanent commitment.

[IMjustfishin]

marriage is something totally artificial. look at animals, do you see them performing a ritual before they have sex? nope.

there are good reasons why you should wait until your mature enough to loose your virginity, but marriage is really not one of them. i mean what happens if you dont like your partner in bed? that would suck! if you love someone and have sex with them then why should it be considered a sin?? just cuz its written in some dusty old book? i defy you to come up with a good reason why it would be a sin for two people who love each other to express their love physically.

[aguest]

Is sex before mariage a sin???
Who established marriage?

[aguest]

marriage is something totally artificial. look at animals, do you see them performing a ritual before they have sex? nope.

there are good reasons why you should wait until your mature enough to loose your virginity, but marriage is really not one of them. i mean what happens if you dont like your partner in bed? that would suck! if you love someone and have sex with them then why should it be considered a sin?? just cuz its written in some dusty old book? i defy you to come up with a good reason why it would be a sin for two people who love each other to express their love physically.
Dear friend! Did you not read it, this thread is "For Christians ONLY!"?

[StonerBill]

I hope to provide a good answer to this thread before it becomes a mass of personal oppinions. Sin is not a matter of oppinion. The oppinion is whether you believe in sin, and what doctrine you base your judgement of sin upon.

The whole 'no sex before marriage' thing was declared along with other rules like 'every sperm is sacred'. Its easy to think of the rule to be 'you cant have sex until you marry, and then you can have sex whenever you want' but if you are going to follow the old doctrine of no sex before marriage, then youd best follow the other that says you mustnt have sex just for pleasure, that sex is for procreation.

If you are still interested in the history of such a rule, you can consider that in most cultures, family's can put a lot at stake concerning who they want to mix their genes with, and the only guarantee that a baby comes from a certain man is if she was a virgin when he shagged her.

[StonerBill]

as for my oppinion - no omnipotent god would give a rats arse whether two of his creatures touched parts chronologicaly prior to being in the presence of another creature declaring them to be wed. No one needs to do anything special to prove anything to an omniscient god. The only purpose for religious behavior is so that we ourselves can understand what we want from god - but God would know more than any self what that self wanted and needed. Religion is there so that people can prove to themselves that they care about God. because it would be an insult to say that God required man to do anything special at all. its an insult to God, and a huge appraisal of man.

that is, if you believe in god.

otherwise, you should do as many of us, and have sex before marriage

[aguest]

Interesting comments here, thanks to everyone!
But I will try, if you don't mind, view this matter from yet another angle.

What is the difference between "sex" and "marriage"?
Is it not the same in the country where you are living? If not, then why not?

Again, the term "sin" is only found in the Bible and has nothing to do with hippie ideology, I must warn; in the Bible the word translated as "sin" means to miss the target. In the context it means to fall short of perfect obedience to God. Such is my information.
So, if you are one of those Christians, who want to follow the Bible and Jesus, here are some interesting points to consider:

In the Mosaic law there was such law, that if a maiden should commit immorality "while in the house of her father" (that is, before marriage), she was due to be stoned to death. Such severe penalty was meant to prevent moral degradation of the nation, no doubt. Christians don't form a literal nation, neither are they subject to the Mosaic law anyway.
But generally we can see, that sex before/out of marriage wasn't viewed by God as one of the "innocent pleasures", nor as a normal thing one should experience in his "search for true love". The Maker, it seems, was of opinion, that sex out of marriage was a harmful thing for men. And this CAN be interesting for Christians who want to learn more about "God's will" regarding sex...
But what if we are talking only about sex between the two, who already are engaged and will marry soon? Looks like, it is not the same as above. Still, if we take God and his views seriously, how would we decide? How much would we mind what God thinks about sex? Even if we don't fully understand his point of view?...
Maybe, these questions could help you to find your answer?

This line of thought assumes, that a Christian wants to understand and follow the Bible and its guidelines. But I know that many Christians see it differently, which is their right and freedom. I'd like to be sure, that this post will not prevent anybody from sharing freely their own opinions on this interesting question.

[OlderWaterBrother]

The Bible doesn't say sex in of itself is a sin, it's not but sex outside of marriage is a sin.
So if you're interested in being obedient to the God of the Bible, wait until after marriage to have sex and then only with your mate. It's what the Bible says.

[Bhaskar]

Sin is as aguest said "to miss the target" as in anything that takes you away from the goal of knowing and being in communion with God. Thus it cannot be generalized, and would depend on your own internal condition. If having sex before marriage creates guilt feelings (which I sam almost sure it will in your case) then better abstain, since it will take you away from being in tune with God.

[aguest]

Sin is as aguest said "to miss the target" as in anything that takes you away from the goal of knowing and being in communion with God. Thus it cannot be generalized, and would depend on your own internal condition. If having sex before marriage creates guilt feelings (which I sam almost sure it will in your case) then better abstain, since it will take you away from being in tune with God.
Excellent point! The Bible says our conscience is a good helper, as even those "alienated from God" (of the Bible) can act in a good and just way according to their conscience, thus "demonstrating the matter of the law to be written in their hearts".

It must be added, too, that for those Christians who want to be "in communion" with the God of the Bible, their idea of "sin" (and their internall feeling, as well) cannot be formed apart from what this book has to say on the matter in question.
A good illustration can make it easier to understand. If we illustrate marriage with a contract (which it IS, in a sense), then you can easily see, that one is not entitled to any goods provided thereby, before one sign the contract... Will you sign it or decline it? The decision is yours; but the contract is valid only on being signed. When you sign it, you "pay" with your promises (which God trusts) and in return you get all the blessings of marriage.

***In this regard, it is interesting to notice, that even civil regulations of all the nations regard only officially registered marriages as such, all the parental responsibilities and heritage and other legal issues being handled accordingly.***

Accordingly, before one should commit himself to being a Christian, one needs to get a thorough understanding of God's reasons and standards (aka "his will"); otherwise, how can one willingly commit himself to doing God's will?
You see, without such prior knowledge it will always be "why does the Bible forbid me do this?!", or "I don't see why I should agree when the Bible calls it a sin".
The God of the Bible is just and merciful, the God of truth he calls himself; so I doubt it he will take seriously anybody's commitment to "doing God's will", unless that one should willingly commit himself to it in full knowledge.

Back to the point: calm conscience, self respect, good health and good relations, trust in one another -- these are the benefits of keeping God's regulations regarding sex and marriage. Family happiness is one of the toughest issues of our times, and trying to apply God's standards here is just like trying to use the manufacturer's manual;).

[willibass3]

I have allways been agree that sin is untrue. Sex is love... and a girl has to be free to take her own decitions. Having kids is another question. The most important is to be loved. Take care of yourself. Old Hippie William. I had sex at 14 and I allways read before to discover by myself, anyway I was surprised.

[aguest]

I have allways been agree that sin is untrue. Sex is love... and a girl has to be free to take her own decitions. Having kids is another question.
Well, you're not alone in thinking that the concept of "sin" is not true. Does this solve the problem? Not at all. Many agree, that our human tendency to doubt, regret, feel remorse, pain and repentance over our past deeds -- even though feeling 100% sure at the time of acting -- is like a dent in a perfect human cast. That is why many agree with the Bible concept of "sin", which translates as our inability to meet God's requirements in all we do. SIN is a dent in our present human cast -- whether you believe it or not.

Is not most pain and suffering of human heart concerned with love affairs and sex? Be honest with yourself: you cannot eliminate these by merely denying them. It is like a disease: you cannot conquer one by merely denying the fact.
So, for us Christians it is essential to take heed of what the Bible says on that.
The most important is to be loved. Take care of yourself. Old Hippie William. I had sex at 14 and I allways read before to discover by myself, anyway I was surprised.
You are right! Even the Bible says that "love covers multitude of sins"; however, sin is not only a matter of our personal decision. It is important that we obey what our God says to us -- and what he says is ALWAYS to our benefit, visible, or not so obvious at present.
Just consider some statistics: most problematic teenagers, or dangerous criminals, and the like -- come from single parent families, or from families without proper comunication between parents and kids. Would that be avoided if their parents had followed God's commandment to have sex only in marriage?

[willibass3]

One phrase: LOVE IS FREE

[Traceroni.]

I don't agree with it, partly because if you got married and THEN had sex, if he/she was horrible, and divorce is (i think) supposed to be a sin, you're gonna be stuck.

Also, I like sex, and don't plan to get married, but I do plan to stay in a VERY long-term relationship. ...I pretty much abandoned religion a while ago though, so I don't "count"

[Ukr-Cdn]

I don't agree with it, partly because if you got married and THEN had sex, if he/she was horrible, and divorce is (i think) supposed to be a sin, you're gonna be stuck.


Horrible at sex, or a horrible person?

Would you want to divorce someone (in a hypothetical marriage) beacuse they could not cook your favourite meal?

Sex and marriage should be a little bit of work. That is not to say that sex can't be/shouldn't be spontaneous or easy for some people, but if you run into a problem in a relationship, it will be work. Divorce is an easy exit strategy, I think, for many people. Yes, in some cases (infidelity, abuse, lovelessness,sexual orientation) it is warrented. I use the example of lovelessness hesitantly however. Sometimes it is work to fall back into love. If you feel like you are in a rut with someone, you need to communicate and talk about it. What about your life, or your sex life is making you feel bored? Is it the routine? Is it stress from somewhere else?

Some people maybe need a third person to keep things interesting (a mutual third person). Some need toys...etc

[PL2584]

Is sex before mariage a sin???

adam and eve where not married.

[aguest]

adam and eve where not married.
LOL! Well, they were -- especially in God's eyes. Remember, he created Eve to be Adam's wife.
But now, when there are many men and women to choose from, the story is different.

[aguest]

One phrase: LOVE IS FREE
And WHO gave you this ability to love? Who gave you life?
I mean, as this thread is "for Christians only", I'm talking in the terms of the faith in God of the Bible. He's the owner of everythings by the right of the Creator. He's given us things to use and is quite patient with us humans.
Then he's given us what is known as "commandments" -- these are his principles we need to follow. If we don't , then we have problems. But more important is, that in such case we disrespect God's rulership -- and that is serious. And sex is just one of the spheres, where neglecting God's commandments brings especially bitter results, just as many have learned the hard way.

Again, I'm not going dogmatic. I'm just reasoning within the bonds of the Christian teaching, which naturally has some bonds to it. That is, for example, you can't be a budhist and still remain a Christian in the true meaning of it.

[Floating High]

Sex before marriage, pre-marital experience, assuming one is talking of sexual intercourse or perversion of the same, the word of God implies it all by calling it fornication. It knows no exception. It allows none. Renaming fornication does not change the act or remove the consequence. Those who commit fornication, sin.

This message, like all other true Bible messages, is designed both for believers and disbelievers. "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God" Romans 10:17, so the purpose of the Bible revelation is to create believers of those who would learn. The fact that premarital sex, fornication, homosexuality, are laughed at by the world should be of little consequence to one who seeks for truth, or to one who believes the truth. It is the truth that shall make you free (John 8:32). Now let's consider briefly the question of fornication, or pre-marital sex. Fornication is a sin against God. Sin is transgression of the law of God (I John 3:4). It is to go against, or across, what God has revealed. So if one believes God and would follow His word, he must stand on the simple conviction that fornication is wrong. Consider what the word says. "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" Hebrews 13:4. In the Bible, a prostitute, a harlot, a whore, were all guilty of the same thing- fornication. One may prostitute himself for any kind of gain, not just money. It may be the pride of continued association, or perhaps a weekend all-expense trip paid to a neighboring city. Prostitutes, street walkers, call girls, those who dwell in plush penthouses, all have one thing in common: they commit fornication. It is a sin against God, against His will, His word and His way. Judgement will fall on those who are guilty of fornication and who fail to turn in repentance.

Paul writes in I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the Kingdom of God". You say, "What am I to do then? For I am guilty." Read the next verse, "But such were some of you". According to Acts 18:8, "And many of the Corinthians, hearing, believed and were baptized". The guilty Corinthians were forgiven, redeemded.

Fornication is a sin against the other person involved. It is always a mutual sin engaged in by two or more. Involving others in your own sin, You sin against them. If your convictions had been strong perhaps they would have been encouraged to do right. The sin, the shame, the wrong is shared by both. For this reason Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:2, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband". Temptation is not a sin fornication is.

Fornication is a sin against oneself. Paul said, "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" I Corinthians 6:18. The body of the believer belongs to God. He has been bought with a price and is to glorify God while in the flesh. All of this is clearly taught in this chapter. Fornication is generally committed. in private. This leads one to believe that, since no one knows, or since the act was committed with a prostitute or call girl, that the sin goes unnoticed and the consequences are allayed. This is just not so. Pre-marital sex? An effort to reach compatibility? An innocent game to play? Not according to the word. God says it is fornication, sin, and those who commit such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. It is not sex which God condemns, but it's misuse outside the marriage bond.

My opinion is YES

God Bless
:peace:

[RaRaa]

Well here's how it goes. Sex before marriage is most definitely considered as a sin in the Christian/Catholic commandments. The problem is they also don't allow birth control subjects like.. Condoms and such. Then they complain about young girls getting pregnant and stuff, we are all curious. We are human. We live life to make our own mistakes and we were given life to make more life. So... Why does it really matter that we do have sex before marriage? Some people are just smarter than other by using condoms or birth control things. Lol

[OlderWaterBrother]

One phrase: LOVE IS FREESo true!

The only problem is Love and Sex are not the same thing and thus you didn't answer the question.

[OlderWaterBrother]

I don't agree with it, partly because if you got married and THEN had sex, if he/she was horrible, and divorce is (i think) supposed to be a sin, you're gonna be stuck.

Also, I like sex, and don't plan to get married, but I do plan to stay in a VERY long-term relationship. ...I pretty much abandoned religion a while ago though, so I don't "count"I guess my question would be; if you've only had sex with one person in your whole life, how would you know if it was horrible or not?

[OlderWaterBrother]

adam and eve where not married.Actually some believe the the joining of Adam and Eve together by God was the first marrage.

[OlderWaterBrother]

Well here's how it goes. Sex before marriage is most definitely considered as a sin in the Christian/Catholic commandments. The problem is they also don't allow birth control subjects like.. Condoms and such. Then they complain about young girls getting pregnant and stuff, we are all curious. We are human. We live life to make our own mistakes and we were given life to make more life. So... Why does it really matter that we do have sex before marriage? Some people are just smarter than other by using condoms or birth control things. LolIt would be interesting to see where in the Bible it says that birth control is forbidden. Could you please provide the scriptures?

But in any case, if the young girls you mention would abstain until marriage, I believe that would all but eliminate them "getting pregnant and stuff".

[OlderWaterBrother]

It's always been interesting to me that many "Christians" when asked a more or less religious question, respond with their own opinion, without seeming to give any consideration to what God, Christ or the Bible may say about the subject.

[RaRaa]

OlderWaterBrother. Seriously. Stfu and become a priest. Listen to the box outside and not the inside. If you wanna be a smart ass about things so can I. Where in that whole sentence did I say it was in the bible? Idiot. Just opening you're mouth to that made you look like an idiot.

But you're right. Birth control is NOT mentioned in the bible.

Read this before you open your mouth again and make yourself look stupid.

http://onebeggarsbread.blogspot.com/2005/12/birth-control-in-bible.html

[neodude1212]

So true!

The only problem is Love and Sex are not the same thing and thus you didn't answer the question.


sex is usually considered an expression of Love.

at least in the context of someone expressing concern at the whole "sex before marriage" idea.

so how is love free yet the expression of it is not?

[OlderWaterBrother]

OlderWaterBrother. Seriously. Stfu and become a priest. Listen to the box outside and not the inside. If you wanna be a smart ass about things so can I. Where in that whole sentence did I say it was in the bible? Idiot. Just opening you're mouth to that made you look like an idiot.

But you're right. Birth control is NOT mentioned in the bible.

Read this before you open your mouth again and make yourself look stupid.
I beg your pardon! Is this what you consider a good example of “Christian” dialog?

I believe if you reread what I said, you will find that not once did I say that you said it was in the Bible.

I merely said; It would be interesting to see where in the Bible it says that birth control is forbidden and then asked if you; Could you please provide the scriptures?


It seems like to me, a reasonable question to ask you, seeing as you are the one who brought up the subject of birth control.

[OlderWaterBrother]

sex is usually considered an expression of Love.It's nice to see that some still feel this way but in these days of free sex, sex is not often considered an expression of love.
so how is love free yet the expression of it is not?A person is free to express love, it's just that sex outside of marriage is not expression of love but an expression of lust.

[glow]

well as a Christian in sex "the two shall become one flesh".It is a spiritual knitting of two seprate spirits coming together mysteriously and becoming one.

Also "what God puts together, man should not seprate'.He created it, so why can't he also say how it works the best! Human instruction manual (bible)

SO, I personally don't see how if sex was created for this, how can sex be exchanged between two spirits and than taken away with out hurting a persons( and heart) spirit some where and/or hurting Gods heart.

Because, if the folks involved have than taken apart what he meant as something beautiful to be sown together permanent.....there must be some thing hurtful in it.

I would imagine those who have lived a life where they do this, they probably all have regrets and hurts in their hearts that run deep because of the bonding.
I know I have experienced it.

We are not amoebas.But created as a much higher and more complicated spiritual beings...

[glow]

Also what I know of what sin is, it is separation from God.He is holy, unscathed,majestic, and really cant be combined with sinfulness.
If what you are doing is separating yourself from God, it sin.

It can be forgiven because God is all about compassion and grace. But why take advantage of His grace so you can self satisfy yourself for a while.

It will come back to hurt you.God tells us of these things because he LOVES us and knows what will hurt us, because he invented us! ..God IS love!

[verseau_miracle]

Is sex before mariage a sin???

Do YOU think its a sin? Ask yourself if making love before signing a piece of paper is wrong. If the answers yes then dont, if no then do. Answer to no-one but your inner self, because youre your own best friend, and thats where God lies

Good luck

[willibass3]

Sin does not exist, just the conscience black and white, good and bad.
Sex is a complement and a way of freedom for energy. Even a way to keep the evolution. Sex is a fun, God is gladnes..god is funny.