fetishes

[indian~summer]

so tonight i bartended at what turned out to be a private fetish party
it was alot of fun
but my boyfriend came in
and i was being all life of the party jess as usual and ended up spanking one guy
and my boyfriend did not like that

so its got me to thinking
i am a total masochist

here's my thinking
i choose to be in a relationship that has caused me nothing but heartache
and instead of cutting it short i chose to prolong the suffering
day after day its one thing after another and i am trying my fucking hardest to make it work
but it isn't, and i doubt it ever will because honestly if it doesn't work in the first month how much better can it get

every relationship i've had i've put myself in positions where i could get hurt

now heres the real question, now that i've realized my fetish and i realize it is not a good one for me to have how exactly do i go about breaking this habit

a fetish is supposed to be gratifying in some way, if i'm not enjoying it why do i still do it...

do you find that your relationships can be separated into a certain type of fetish?

[Arlandis]

Ooooh a private fetish party? Were people walking around in S&M leather outfits?

[Face Eater]

My relationships usually fizzle out slowly and painfully until she makes the move to break it off. I am usually too much of a desperate mess to see what I am doing wrong and I cling on for dear life pretending everything is ok.

You recognise you have a problem, I guess thats the first step. As for the next step, i'm not really sure. In my experience masochistic relationships lose their appeal after a while.

[indian~summer]

Ooooh a private fetish party? Were people walking around in S&M leather outfits?
yep

My relationships usually fizzle out slowly and painfully until she makes the move to break it off. I am usually too much of a desperate mess to see what I am doing wrong and I cling on for dear life pretending everything is ok.

You recognise you have a problem, I guess thats the first step. As for the next step, i'm not really sure. In my experience masochistic relationships lose their appeal after a while.
yeah thats pretty much what is happening
i'm trying really hard to make it work, but its not
masochistic relationships have no appeal to me
it's not like i want this type of relationship, it's just the ones i seem to find myself in
i fucking hate it
something needs to be changed

[I'minmyunderwear]

i don't have relationships...



my fetish must be for girls that aren't attracted to me...

[Waking Life]

I'd just not date possessive people. Some dude that is going to get upset that you're being you is the root of the problem, is it not? Suppose your boy hadn't thought it a disrespectful act, or whatever, would you have still feel the heartache?

[indian~summer]

i wouldn't at all
i only felt bad because he felt it was disrespectful towards him
see i don't think before i do, i just do
i'm an impulsive person, and if it wasn't for my impulses i wouldn't be in a relationship with him in the first place
he thinks me childish because of that, and yeah its true i am childish but i'm only 20 i'm fucking allowed be childish

[Waking Life]

i wouldn't at all
i only felt bad because he felt it was disrespectful towards him
see i don't think before i do, i just do
i'm an impulsive person, and if it wasn't for my impulses i wouldn't be in a relationship with him in the first place
he thinks me childish because of that, and yeah its true i am childish but i'm only 20 i'm fucking allowed be childish
http://meredith.wolfwater.com/cart.jpg



He's angry at you for having fun .... and wants you to think its your fault?

[I'minmyunderwear]

he sounds like a bitch... you were basically just doing your job well anyway

[indian~summer]

oh but he doesn't play mind games like that



....

[indian~summer]

he sounds like a bitch... you were basically just doing your job well anyway
aw but 'flirting is not part of my job'

i'm too flirtatious....

[I'minmyunderwear]

aw but 'flirting is not part of my job'

it is if you want good tips

[Waking Life]

oh but he doesn't play mind games like that



....
Of course not. Possessiveness is a character trait. Never a game. So you go a few years watching what you say and what you do when he is around, which keeps him happy, but all the while you make yourself unhappy ..... AND STRESSED ... because your natural outlets for happiness are being inhibited by your desire to keep things happy with your boy until one day you can't take it anymore and break up with him, which will crush him because he'll have believed that you'd changed and actually didn't WANT to be spanking guys in a bar on fetish night, or whatever the particular fun may be. And you'll be left in a position where you swear that the next boy you date, cause the next one will be one that you'll have to consider marrying, as you'll be getting on in years isn't as possessive and lets ... you ... be ... you.

[indian~summer]

i know brian

and mike, you're right
you seem to have quite the way with things, as in you seem to always be right
and it's creepy
you really should stop that

[Waking Life]

i know brian

and mike, you're right
you seem to have quite the way with things, as in you seem to always be right
and it's creepy
you really should stop that
Well .... even creepy dumb fuckups learn a thing or two here and there. Really though, I just make most of it up when I'm drunk.

[indian~summer]

Well .... even creepy dumb fuckups learn a thing or two here and there. Really though, I just make most of it up when I'm drunk.
speaking like that will only win you a place in my heart
stop it

[Hyphy]

I have a travel bag fetish(get your mind outta the gutter I don't fuck luggage). Whenever I would go shopping wit a girlfriend i would always end up at the travel bag store, always. I'd be there and my girl would go, "You need luggage babe?" And I'd be like, "No." I'm always drawn to that place. Maybe it's because the bags represent exitement, adventure and travel and I'm drawn to that lifestyle and that type of person. It's never failed. With every woman i've chose to be with I've been compelled to visit the travel bag store. It's like their personality is in synch with my adventurous side. Weird. I guess what I'm trying to say is, my girlfriends were like travel bags. I'm romantic aren't I? :)

[indian~summer]

that's really interesting hyphy
weird
but interesting
i think i get what you mean though

[Allonym]

its not like the dude is a horrible person, or too adult/restricted/whatever... just maybe not the right mesh for ya. you might just need someone whose more of a free spirit, like you are. my mom needed someone who could ground her for a very long time (um, 10 years or so) because she was too flighty (by her own description), but sometimes people need someone who will bring out that insane streak in em :D

fetishes, well... lets just say im not the one who would be spanking the other

[Cate8]

dump him while youre young and free

[indian~summer]

he's not a bad person at all, he is 7 years older than me, so obviously he has different needs and wants than me
i really should do something.. the past two weeks have been terrible
i do like him...
i'm too flighty myself kle :D

i seem incapable of talking to him, instead i bitch about him to strangers on the internet :rolleyes:

[Fitzy's Grampa]

I say start spanking him.

[Hyphy]

The only time a relationship fails is when one or both partners are not willing to work shit out period Go with what your heart says LD. There's plenty of fish out there and you have all the bait needed ;)

[Fitzy's Grampa]

No, some most people present a falsehood to attract partners. The reality is not always something that can be worked out. Again, she seemed to enjoy spanking random stranger. I say, spank him and see what happens. Might just be a fasttrack to an eventuality, but, wouldnt you rather know now rather than later?

[indian~summer]

thanks hyphy :D
and to be brutally honest on this here internet where everyone can see...:eek:....i get the feeling that he doesn't want to work on it.....

and fitzy's grandpa you are soooooo right

i think it's pretty obvious that any man should want me to spank him, i'm like awesome and shit :H

[Fitzy's Grampa]

I dont want to be spanked, I dont care how awesome you are;)

[indian~summer]

I dont want to be spanked, I dont care how awesome you are;)
bullshit!

[Hyphy]

Yeah, I don't wan be spanked either. I'll spank and you're more than welcome to scratch my back up but, dat about it. Oh and pull my hair from the bottom. Awesome!

[indian~summer]

playing with hair is so sexy
and yeah i'm not adversed to being spanked, i'm pretty "free spirited" as was said in this thread already :D

i find it weird when people get uncomfortable around fetish type things
like the regulars at the bar that came in yesterday were so awkward around it all
i don't care, and it was fun to join in even
i guess i'm a little too open minded for my own good sometimes.....

[Hyphy]

playing with hair is so sexy
and yeah i'm not adversed to being spanked, i'm pretty "free spirited" as was said in this thread already :D

i find it weird when people get uncomfortable around fetish type things
like the regulars at the bar that came in yesterday were so awkward around it all
i don't care, and it was fun to join in even
i guess i'm a little too open minded for my own good sometimes.....I went to the exotic erotic expo last October and felt the same way. I was super uncomfortable with all the crazy sex shit, a little uptight. The thing was I forced myself to get into a talkative state by talking to everyone there and I started to ease into it. By the end I was swapping numbers(and spit) with pornstars and taking pictures with the sado masochists. You prolly woulda liked it and fit right in.

[Fitzy's Grampa]

The only way to truly know your boundaries is to have a truly open mind...however, my mind is not that open. I, like Hyphy, dont like being spanked.

[indian~summer]

I went to the exotic erotic expo last October and felt the same way. I was super uncomfortable with all the crazy sex shit, a little uptight. The thing was I forced myself to get into a talkative state by talking to everyone there and I started to ease into it. By the end I was swapping numbers(and spit) with pornstars and taking pictures with the sado masochists. You prolly woulda liked it and fit right in.
i might have been a little prudish about it at first
the bar i work at is pretty much my comfort zone so the fetish shit didn't phase me
although when it comes to an expo, i'd have a few drinks and than i'd probably have a blast with it
i'm kinda kinky inside
hahaha :D

[Hyphy]

i might have been a little prudish about it at first
the bar i work at is pretty much my comfort zone so the fetish shit didn't phase me
although when it comes to an expo, i'd have a few drinks and than i'd probably have a blast with it
i'm kinda kinky inside
hahaha :DUndercover freaks are the best.

[Waking Life]

speaking like that will only win you a place in my heart
stop it
Please lord tell me she has a heart in her pants.

[Tree-Hugger]

He has problems with you flirting? WTF? You're a flirt...it's what you do. I would dump his ass in a second. :tongue: As long as you didn't have your tongue down someone's throat or your hand down someone's pants...there is no need to be pissy.

Eh I say you put a bitch collar on him for a day and see how he handles it. ;)






Oh and I have a fetish for knuckle draggers......hahaha I love it when a man tries to tell me what to do.