i didn't think i could become more disillusioned...

[indian~summer]

but it has happened

it's so difficult to try and be strong on the outside when i'm so fragile inside
and the conflictions of the two end up tearing me apart

and why exactly is it that others can appear weak in a moment, and have everyone comfort them and fawn over them
yet when i do it, it's like "noooooo don't show you're true feelings, you're being too melodramatic, always the fucking drama queen, fucking bitch, cunt"
oh and psycho, mustn't forget that word

i'm fucking psycho

try being less psycho, maybe then you'll be happier and you won't scare men away

i hate people, i hate men

i shall sleep alone tonight happy, because i love me
i am an amazing person
if i could clone me i would, and i'd be a happy little lesbian with myself

om *inhale*
shanti*exhale*

[zilla939]

well, don't think you're alone

[indian~summer]

i know that

this is a vent

the guy i have been flirting with has a wife and kids
i mean a wife..ok i can deal..but kids?
fuck

and just well men suck, they toss me around so much
i'm so sick of it, it's happened 4 times now in the past month and a half
4 different men
now 5 thanks to this asshole

i'm going to become a lesbian

or a nun

and i'm going to cry and watch project runway

[indian~summer]

it's probably been more than 5, in the last couple of months
since the end of november/beginning of december
it's disgusting
i feel like a slut

and i'm so far from that

[zilla939]

well, it may not be a bad idea to take a break for a while to get in touch with yourself. you're probably just seeking/attracting the wrong men right now. you don't have to swear them off... some men are amazing. and some are douche bags. free your mind and find things you love and don't worry about love. hang out with your friends and be cool with yourself and real love will come your way, and you'll know because it will feel right

[indian~summer]

yeah.......

[Cate8]

If you are flirting with these men at your bar Jess, I suggest stop!! Its not the place to find a GOOD man. I promise you. Lets go dancing.

[Waking Life]

There is only one place worse than a bar to meet a good man, and that is at a club.

[Cate8]

I never dance to meet men, how ridiculous! Girls night.

[Waking Life]

I never dance to meet men, how ridiculous! Girls night.
I know Cate. I realized that thats what you meant right after I posted.

Sorry dude.

[Cate8]

Aw:D! hahaha. I wasnt saying ridiculous to you :tongue: I just meant i think its silly when people do seek men at clubs. Where lighting is low and talking doesnt happen. hahha!

[Waking Life]

Well, being a man that sometimes tends to seek women at clubs, I have to say boo on you! For some of us dudes, low lighting and no talking is the only time that we'll get close to the fairer sex. It sucks to hear that girls are only there for girls nights!!!!

[Cate8]

Well I am not all women, many women do seek men at clubs too hehehe

[seamonster66]

well, it may not be a bad idea to take a break for a while to get in touch with yourself. you're probably just seeking/attracting the wrong men right now. you don't have to swear them off... some men are amazing. and some are douche bags. free your mind and find things you love and don't worry about love. hang out with your friends and be cool with yourself and real love will come your way, and you'll know because it will feel rightthis gal is right


don't be living for a man...at all

early 20's are a time of change, and finding yourself

you'll be fine, 8 years ago you wre 12, y'know?

[Penny]

I used to be and feel like you. I think. I understand you. I don't really know how I've healed though.

[Waking Life]

Peterborough has a fountain of healing.


Maybe you folks should go there!

[I'minmyunderwear]

well, don't think you're alone

because i'm right behind you, bwahahahaha!!!!

[redyelruc]

this gal is right


don't be living for a man...at all

early 20's are a time of change, and finding yourself

you'll be fine, 8 years ago you wre 12, y'know?
Great advice.

When i was about 23 or 24, I had two years on my own. No relationships, no dates, no trying to please others. It really taught me about who I was and what I really wanted.

Working in bars is great for getting laid and getting drunk. That's about it.

[indian~summer]

girls night yessss
lets do that really really soon!


oh man, i got drunk last night
oh man
:D

i realize i'm young and i know this is the time in my life that i'm changing the most
it's a frustrating process though

i want to kick life in the balls!