I need amnesia

[Penny]

You know, there's some things I just wish I could really forget forever. Some people.. some events.. I REALLY wish could never ever pop into my mind again.

I try and not think about past stuff that's negative.. like dramatic.. and people who I just wish never came into my life.. but sometimes I get random flashbacks about them, about things.. and they are most unwelcome.

I need a drink or drugs or something.

I don't know how to detach myself from bad memories.

I doesn't matter anymore. But I just hate the feeling of just remembering stuff..

I'm glad I am partly amnesiac already, or who knows how much worse it could get.

[seamonster66]

I know what you mean, but it won't happen

just got to keep facing things until you don't cringe at the thought

[Penny]

I don't know if that will ever happen.. not cringing at the thought of some people/things..

[seamonster66]

Understood

sometimes all of a sudden I just start getting pissed off at people from my past

but its way late

[Penny]

it's really bad, it's like a circle of negativity. just remembering something bad makes me have all sorts of unrelated negative thoughts.. it's like.. this shit has some sort of power over me.. and right now, I am having a really negative moment, where I truly hate myself.

and I know that's just what bad vibes do.. really do though.. vibration-wise. I'm glad at least I'm not around the same bad vibes anymore.. cause if they can do this to me just in memory.. I don't wanna begin to imagine what it would be like physically..

[seamonster66]

live and learn


live and learn :(

[Penny]

oh well it doesn't matter anymore, it's done..

what I guess helps is to think about all the harm that's been done to me will backfire at whoever harmed me, someday, somehow.. and considering that was pretty bad, I am glad to think it will be really fucked-up for them too.

that's just people though.. as far as events go.. well.. I guess I just need to get over it, it's done.. what am I gonna do?

I need this negative circle to end right now. It all was triggered by an old picture, and then all sorts of negative random thoughts came to me.

[seamonster66]

I don't know the specifics

but I know you can move on, and you have, and you will y'know?

things are always evolving and changing

I know I am not exactly the same person I was 10 years ago, 20 years ago etc.

Experiences like that can ensure you would never get into a situation like that again

[Penny]

yeah.. some stuff can leave pretty deep scars though.

[Posthumous]

Sounds like you need that procedure in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

When I need to overcome a difficult time in my life, I never use the standard drugs for escape, but the psychedelic kind in order to delve deeper into my problems and perhaps change for the better. This might be a recipe for disaster for some, but I've never regetted it.

[Penny]

I need pot right now, that would help.. it always does in those cases.

stronger psychedelic drugs would make me have a bad trip right now, I feel too negative.

[Posthumous]

I feel too negative.
Reminds me of that joke where the patient says, "it hurts when I do this," and the doctor replies, "Well stop doing that." http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/icons/newicons/icon19.gif

[edyb123]

The best way to get over those memories is to reach a state of mind where they don't bother you.

You need to accept them.

-think about them for a while
-think about why they bother you
-think about how they make you feel
-realise that they are part of the past and you can do nothing about them
-understand that you don't need to feel bad about them
-stop feeling bad about them
-put them to the back of your mind

after a while.. they won't bother you.

[mamaKCita]

i've been perfectly content SO MANY TIMES and then suddenly shudder in abject horror over some vicious memory of something monumentally stupid or embarassing i've done. but without all the fuckups, i wouldn't be NEARLY so fucking cool now.

[seamonster66]

. but without all the fuckups, i wouldn't be NEARLY so fucking cool now.that is so true


you guys would have hated me much more when i was a dumbass 18 year kid who hadn't fucked up nearly enough

[Penny]

I guess it's true - without a lot of shit that happened in the past, I wouldn't be who I am now, or.. probably not

[mamaKCita]

*nods* amen, my fellow fuckup.

[Penny]

still I wish some people didn't exist. how they existED doesn't matter anymore, but the fact that they exist now and could possibly interfere with my peaceful life again is disturbing.

[Unknown American]

still I wish some people didn't exist. how they existED doesn't matter anymore, but the fact that they exist now and could possibly interfere with my peaceful life again is disturbing.No they do not have to interfere with your life if you do not let them.

I imagine you are stronger than you think.

I could use some amnesia about right now, though.

[Posthumous]

still I wish some people didn't exist. how they existED doesn't matter anymore, but the fact that they exist now and could possibly interfere with my peaceful life again is disturbing.
I'm sorry, that sounds of evil overtones, unless they're so intertwined in your life, i.e. family, you can't divorce yourself from them.