Anxiety

[Any Color You Like]

The most irrational and crippling behavior I know.

I feel it, but nobody can tell. From the outside I look calm, relax and peaceful. But inside I often suffer from the fear of being judged, the fear of not being good enought for my friends or even for random people.
In the past I have been severly judged. Now my social life is getting better, I have a few good friends that I trust. My logical brain tells me everything's fine, that life is beautiful, but my emotions or whatever causes this damn anxiety keeps whispering inside me : «But what if she's a hypocrite, what if I'm in fact I'm bothering her, what if, what if etc.»
The only thing that saves me is music, and creativity in general. Thank God I'm a musician. Music really has a positive impact on my emotions.
But I know that I'm scarred for a damn long time.

I don't know what I'm looking for exactly by writing this, but If anybody has something to comment about anxiety, let's go...

[xexon]

This isn't a spiritual problem, its one of growing up

Two things people of your age lack. Self confidence and experience.

Hard to be confident when you don't really have a self image just yet. You don't know who you are and neither does anyone else.

The fix comes with time and life experience. Anxiety is a part of life. There is no escaping it, but as you age, you will get better at dealing with it. You'll also be more cautious about making poor decisions that bring it into your life.


x

[BlackBillBlake]

I'd advise you to read up on anxiety.

It is a common problem and there are solutions.

[Any Color You Like]

Thanks

I know this isn't a philosophy problem, but since they don't have any psychology forum I posted it here.

[BlackBillBlake]

Thanks

I know this isn't a philosophy problem, but since they don't have any psychology forum I posted it here.
I'm sure that's ok. I myself at one time suffered from anxiety which became something of a problem for me. It was triggered by negative events in my life, but took on a kind of life of its own.
I was fortunate to recieve help in the form of an anxiety management course which helped me a lot.
The thing is to try to understand that anxiety has a definite biological origin, and it can be dealt with and overcome to a great extent. These days, although I occaisinally become anxious, it is no longer a problem for me.
There is some good basic information on this site -
http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/

[ChiefCowpie]

anxiety, don't worry about it

[Chodpa]

anxiety is good because it shows how stressed the mind and body really is...it seems causeless...but can be caused by anything including too much noise bombardment...if one sees anxiety as empty due to changing then they can see that anxiety is passing in front of calmness...that is amazing...that one still feels calmness...so use anxiety to find that calmness...that it is pointing at

[BlackBillBlake]

anxiety is good because it shows how stressed the mind and body really is...
It is functional if it operates as it should. Anxiety is based in the 'fight or flight' response, necessary to our survival as biological entities. If I see a hungry lion charging at me, the anxiety response with its release of adrenalin etc is certainly the best one, as there is a real threat.

The problem is that it can occur without there being any real trigger. And the initial anxiety can then itself become a trigger for further anxious thoughts. Even if there is some real cause for the initial anxiety, it can still lead to the same thing. Hence it becomes a cycle out of which it is not easy to get. I know, as I have been there. As the OP said, it is an extremely debhilitating condition, but it is one which can be dealt with.

It doesn't show how stressed the mind and body are - it causes stress for the mind and body. Functional anxiety is a necessity for our survival, dis-functional anxiety, which is what we're talking about here is simply an impediment to a happy and balanced life.

[Utilitarian]

All they are telling you to do is to ignore reality in favour of a more positive outlook, this works if you don't need to face reality, if you have the strength of character to notice what's wrong with ignoring reality however there is another option which is to use logic to solve all your problems. I don't know what your conclusions will be after completing this task, either you will realise most of the insults are unjustified and people are attempting to manipulate you or you will realise you can be immature, annoying and/or anti-social, whatever happens unless you correlate your beliefs with reality you will not be able to find the best solution to this problem.

Here are the instructions.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=scientific+method&meta=

[BlackBillBlake]

Anxiety is not a rational thing - it is precisely sub-rational, stemming from the instinctual part of our nature.

One can certainly use reason to analyse anxious thoughts, and that is part of the process of getting the thing under control.

The whole thing with anxiety stemming from fear etc is meant to be a mechanism by which we react instantly, when there is simply no time to think and analyse - the example of imminent attack by a wild animal is a good one here. You have no time to think, and something deeper than the surface mind/intellect takes over.

We humans are only partly creatures of logic and reason.

[Any Color You Like]

Thank you for the advice and info.

Utilitarian, I already use all the logic I have. My logic tells me that I have nothing to fear, that I'm well liked by my friends, and I am. There, I just said it. But my emotion don't follow my logic, unfortunately.

Also my anxiety actually makes me more slow to act, not faster, as some would experience under stress. It's more of a ''freeze'' anxiety.

[BlackBillBlake]

Also my anxiety actually makes me more slow to act, not faster, as some would experience under stress. It's more of a ''freeze'' anxiety.
Yes - as I said, there is functional and disfunctional anxiety. The disfunctional type is as we both know crippling.

I really hope you manage to get over it.:)

[inthetrees]

you have anxiety for a reason. everyone does. its a universal feeling thats telling you somthing. what its telling us is the hard part

[Utilitarian]

"Utilitarian, I already use all the logic I have. My logic tells me that I have nothing to fear, that I'm well liked by my friends, and I am. There, I just said it. But my emotion don't follow my logic, unfortunately."
Now that you have an objective analysis you know exactly what the problem is. Your irrational emotions. The instinctive part of your brain is not uncontrollable. Some emotions are good, love sets your heart on fire generating pleasure, anger and greed motivate you to work harder and you may already have discoverred ways of triggerring these emotions by growing attached to someone or fixating on something. Likewise you can numb other emotions like your anxiety. You probably know all this already but it's good to put it in writing...

I think I was a bit hard on BlackBillBlake because http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/ are experts on the subject, though I still think all this flowery "don't feel bad" stuff only masks the problem. There are various methods used to condition the instinctive part of your brain not to respond to certain stimuli, it takes at most a few months and for the rest of your life you do not experience that pain unless you conjur it up with your imagination.

[WanderingSoul]

This isn't a spiritual problem, its one of growing up

Two things people of your age lack. Self confidence and experience.

Hard to be confident when you don't really have a self image just yet. You don't know who you are and neither does anyone else.

The fix comes with time and life experience. Anxiety is a part of life. There is no escaping it, but as you age, you will get better at dealing with it. You'll also be more cautious about making poor decisions that bring it into your life.


xIt has nothing to do with age. I feel exactly this way, quite often.
It is a mental disorder. Mine was brought about by bad parenting and a repressed childhood.

[Utilitarian]

Why do you need a self image and why do people get so neurotic about their pseudo-persona?

[BlackBillBlake]

Why do you need a self image and why do people get so neurotic about their pseudo-persona?
Why do we need a self image? I guess it's the way we are constructed. Why do we need anything?
A pos self-image helps you to feel good and therefore to function better. That's the way I see it anyway.

Just to add, although it's not connected to utilitarian's post - I think some have the idea that one day they will 'transcend the ego' or something similar, upon which all their personal problems will simply dissapear. My experience suggets otherwise.

[BlackBillBlake]

I think I was a bit hard on BlackBillBlake because http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/ are experts on the subject, though I still think all this flowery "don't feel bad" stuff only masks the problem. There are various methods used to condition the instinctive part of your brain not to respond to certain stimuli, it takes at most a few months and for the rest of your life you do not experience that pain unless you conjur it up with your imagination.
I don't take it hard I assure you.

I would agree too if anxiety was always something with a definite cause. Often, the thing which triggers it is a definite experience - but the problem is that it seemingly takes over, so that one can become anxious about everything.
To quote from my own experience with anxiety, in my case it was the break up of my marriage along with the loss of my business and being left as a single parent which was the trigger, but it became almost all-pervasive. It really did get me into a state where I could hardly do anything. Even to walk down to the shops became a fearful thing.

Fotunately, as I said, I was able to get good treatment, and now I don't suffer from anxiety in the same way.
Of course, if I have a REAL problem, I mught get anxious - but it's the 'anxiety for anxiety's sake' syndrome I was able to put in the past.
BTW - When I say I recieved treatment, I should emphasize that in the end, it is largely up tp the individual to try to help themself.
The main thing is to get informed about anxiety and what it is, then one can work towards overcoming it. Groups are useful too - it helps to see that others are stuck with the same syndrome. In fact, as is usually the case, it's easier to see where others are going wrong than where one is going wrong oneself.

[yyyesiam2]

i hope you're still reading at this point, man. this is a spiritual problem. it is something that affects most people, regardless of age. some people use logic to distance themselves from it, some make themselves victims, some harden themselves so nothing can get in, some try to fix everyone else to stay distracted, etc. i'm a bit guilty of all of those, actually. if logic fails, what then? the only thing i have thought of that seems to work for me is to try and silence the logic long enough to watch what is going on when these emotions occur. if you get to know yourself on a deeper level, you may see the roots of these feelings without any need to explain them to yourself through analysis. when one becomes aware of their heartbeat and respiration on a deeper level, they can alter both through an act of will. i feel that the same goes for emotions. the only way you can really know is if you try for yourself.

[yyyesiam2]

oh and no meds. no pills. this is your challenge.

[xexon]

It has nothing to do with age. I feel exactly this way, quite often.
It is a mental disorder. Mine was brought about by bad parenting and a repressed childhood.


It IS about age when you're 16.

Its NOT a mental disorder unless it's debilitating. Its just...life.

People need to grow up and stop whining when life isn't going their way. Blaming problems on a "disorder" is just an excuse not to adjust your lifestyle.



x

[Utilitarian]

"The main thing is to get informed about anxiety and what it is, then one can work towards overcoming it. Groups are useful too - it helps to see that others are stuck with the same syndrome. In fact, as is usually the case, it's easier to see where others are going wrong than where one is going wrong oneself."
Well one thing that helps is to stand in a public place wave you arms in the air and go "wuuuoaaoooh". I'm not trying to be funny, I came up with this idea ages ago in the belief that since there are no consequences and this is something I'm doing due to personal strength and not any flaws of any sort is therapeutic. Just as a negative experience can send you into anxiety a positive experience can take you out.

[yyyesiam2]

well said, xexon and utilitarian-i agree, as long as the information we are receiving about anxiety is the kind that encourages us to fight our own demons.

[Utilitarian]

True. Part of the problem though is getting people with anxiety or other problems to face reality. Usually these people are deep in the feedback loop of social rejection and socially ineptitude and don't trust anyone who may be trying to help them preferring to view all criticism as an insult in case what they thought was criticism turns out to be an insult.

I think this can be worked around by appealing to logic rather than gaining people's trust by telling them what they want to hear. Most people at least have confidence in their ability to determine the truth, if all you do is state facts and let them calculate for themselves then they can be sure you're not there to screw with them.

[Layla Nahar]

well, the good news is that if you're 16, your brain is still growing, and it will be a easier to be an anxiety-free adult than if you were say, 35. Have you heard of a book called "The Power of Now"? - that is really good for setting yourself at ease.

Also, if you find yourself stuck thinking over & over again about a distressing topic - try this - look at your surrondings and say out loud the things you see using at least one adjective. "I see a red cup. I see a blue book on a brown table'. Sounds silly, but give it a try.

Here's another good one - peripheral vision excercise - it actually relates to how our brains are wired and if you try it, you might find it has an intersting effect on anxiety and distressing thoughts. http://www.trance.dircon.co.uk/5ways.html

Anxiety is learned behavior, and a persistant one, but you can learn something else to replace it.

good luck :)

[evil i 13]

The part of the brain that controls anxiety is overactive in some people. some grow out of it some never do. I never did. I'm mildly medicated for it and i'm ok with that. my anxiety is a generalized anxiety disorder with an emphasis on social anxiety. it was hell to deal with because my symptoms were external as well (sweating, rapid heartbeat, loss of breath). some people say psychiatry is bullshit, a temporary fix, but i would suggest seeing a good psychologist (which are extremely hard to find), then let them take you from there. it could be an issue from long ago that was never properly dealt with. In which case no medecine is necessary.

[Utilitarian]

stupid brain

[Maitreya]

Medication is not the way to handle anxiety. There are natural ways of handling anxiety. It begins by facing your fears. Imagine yourself standing on the edge of a cliff, you look down, a long way down. You can feel the fear rising in you, fear of death or pain. But it is actually fear of the unknown. Imagine yourself, filled to the brim with fear, almost unable to stand it, and jump. Realise that it is only in your mind, it is only perception. The more risks you take the more mistakes you will make, and the more you will realise what you can actually handle. You are not weak, you only think you are weak.

And speaking of disorders, the majority of humans are considered to have disorders because we have an IDEA of what a human is. But that is a flawed idea. A disorder is nothing more than a difference between the idea of a human being and a real human being. The consequences are real, but the issue needs to be reexamined. Such as ADD and ADHD. These "disorders" are nothing more than a persons inability to pay attention to things that do not interest them, and are caused, not inherent, by the amount of information children are having to process, coupled with people's increasing failure to correctly place value. This is why ADD is becoming so rampant.

It is true that you are not afraid, you need only realise it. This is attainable through your own actions, but also search for those who will support you. Do not be afraid to tell others of your fear, because they may be just as afraid and need you help.

Maitreya

[evil i 13]

whatever works for you

[Maitreya]

I agree and meant no disrespect.

[Layla Nahar]

The more risks you take the more mistakes you will make, and the more you will realise what you can actually handle.
Maitreyatrue. part of the trick here is finding the risk that is just at your limit. What might be doable to one person with anxiety might appear like an alligotor filled moat - for example, telling a person what you really think or feel. One person might be able to go through with it and say 'that wasn't so bad' but another person might feel like their world would explode. So, the 2nd person has a few more steps to go before they get to the point where they can actually express thier feelings.