apparently I am condescending

[Penny]

It's been a while I have been feeling confused about this. But apparently, according to my friends, and my family, I am condescending. The thing is, I absolutely do not realize this or mean to be condescending. Sometimes people talk to me and all of sudden get upset because of the look on my face. It's really difficult, because I don't mean to have "a look on my face" - I guess I don't realize I mean could it be possible I don't control the thoughts in my head or..?

A lot of people think I think shit of them, or think I am a mean person or totally careless and not sensitive to them or things.. but I am the complete opposite yet I have these reactions, apparently, I don't control or realize..

It's really bad. I realize people might think I am a person that I am not.. And yes sometimes I do mean the reactions I have but people get upset when there is no need to, usually..

I wish there was a way to lock-up my face or something. Or emty out all the emotion in my eyes.. or the contrary? Maybe it's the contrary reaction that causes people to get upset?

I don't really care what people think but I don't wanna hurt people when there's no reason to be hurt..

In fact I don't think many people really know me and how I function inside. I think I close myself up a lot and do/don't do or say/don't say things that make people put a judgement on me that is totally corrupt. Some people are so easy to read yet it seems I am one of the most "misread" person.. and apparently that's a Capricorn thing. Heh.. who knows.

I don't know, I guess I don't open up easily or when I seem to it's really nonsense or it's at the wrong times or with the wrong people.. I really don't know.

[seamonster66]

well you don't come across that way online, so we would have to meet in person for me to give you an accurate assessment.

I know sometimes I do online, and thats because I am :D

I made the mistake of posting on a message board for the local music scene here, and due to honing my skills here I have already pissed off some douchebags who actually live around here

[mamaKCita]

usually it's not so much you as them feeling insecure, seeing things they've heard from other insecure people are there on your face or in your head.

[Unknown American]

I would not worry about it. Only you know if you are condescending.

If you know that you are not it really does not matter what other people think.

People should accept you for what you are.

[mamaKCita]

people frequently thought i was snobby and cold. i was really just extremely shy and akward. so i figured out the cues i was sending out and set about breaking them in a very ruthless fashion. it's been really fun.

[DonVito]

wow! i know exactly what you mean i never try to come off like that when im talking to people but they always get that feeling from me. my dad always gets mad at me when i say something to him about whatever it is we are talking about. i never mean to be like that its just how i respond to people. anyways i know exactly where you are comming from and i think it happens to alot of people. i think that what caused it for me is the people i grew up around and how they acted. its hard to change how you respond to people if thats just how it naturally comes out.

[Mr.Writer]

My friends say I'm condescending too, but I think they are often just overly sensitive. Of course that sort of explanation in itself is "condescending", so I just don't care anymore when people call me that.

I can't tell when I'm doing it either, because to me it's just normal conversation like any other line i've said in a given night.

[Xac]

Well the thing is most people wear masks in their day to day socializing and 'nice' people will act 'nice' and 'mean' people will act 'mean'. So most people get use to these sort of roles and if some one is just being honest they might not act mean or nice but the other person assumes one or the other.

So even if you care about and respect some one, they might assume the opposite unless you specificaly let them know, people assume too much though.

[telephone]

Yeah, I have been told more than once that sometimes the things I say or the way I say them or the look on my face can be condescending, but that's never how I mean to say them. It's usually when i'm trying to help people when they feel like i'm acting this way, too. If people say something about it, I tell them that I can't help it and that's just the way I communicate sometimes, I honestly do care! and that's usually sufficient enough of a reason for most people.
haha sorry that was not very helpful.