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blackheartbitch
11-16-2007, 02:35 AM
ALL COMMENTS AND CRITIQUES WELCOMED.

to be invisible
I walk with my head down,
ashamed to be seen;
waiting to get back
to the small place of safety
where I can be completely invisible.

Hair sheilding my face
from the world,
trying to hide the pain
and darkness that has gathered
over the years.

Layer of baggy clothes all in black
trying to hide the very thing I hate...
myself.

people call my emo...
but i am merely a girl in hiding.

blackheartbitch
11-16-2007, 02:40 AM
not sure about the title for this one...if you have any suggestions let me know

mess
My hands are stained with emotion.
My head is cluttered with memories.
My heart is tattered with loss.
My body is littered with my self inflicted cuts and bruises.
My soul is full of deep scars dug with my own hands.
My eyes are full with these tears that I dont wish to cry.
Im living a life that I dont want to lead.

blackheartbitch
11-16-2007, 02:45 AM
selfish ways of my mortality

everyday someone dies,
everyday someone suffers,
everyday someone else looses their mind...

every second someone is killed,
raped, or beaten...

somewhere right now a child
abused from birth cries out for help...

today people loose their battles to addiction
popping another pill, getting another fix,
taking another sip...

then here i am,
a lost selfish child of this earth
who beats herself up inside and out
with no one but herself to blame for her problems.

and sometimes i forget how bad the outside world is...
and thinking my life is so bad when so many have it worse than me
is what makes me a mere selfish mortal only thinking of my own pain
instead of those who suffer worse fates than my own.

Cryme
11-16-2007, 06:08 AM
Do you feel like it is easier to write about sadness and loss - depressing things - because depressing words carry alot of power, and are easier to write about, or because you are just feeling sad?

I ask because I write alot of poetry and i find that 95% of the poems I write are sad and depressing, and im not a depressed person, but I do find alot more inspiration in depression....or maybe its just easier and thats why it comes to mind easier....

groovecookie
11-16-2007, 07:38 AM
It's good. It's dark, it's depressing, but it reminds me that I'm not the only one in the world who's felt that way, so in that way it kind of feels good in a sad kind of way. I think the title "mess" is a good one.

Malapascua
11-16-2007, 12:39 PM
ALL COMMENTS AND CRITIQUES WELCOMED.

to be invisible
I walk with my head down,
ashamed to be seen;
waiting to get back
to the small place of safety
where I can be completely invisible.

Hair sheilding my face
from the world,
trying to hide the pain
and darkness that has gathered
over the years.

Layer of baggy clothes all in black
trying to hide the very thing I hate...
myself.

people call my emo...
but i am merely a girl in hiding.

bhb,
You always amaze me with the sadness in your words.
I am sad that a 15 year old girl has such dark insight.
I hope you will take a vacation to a happy place, with or without your family.
My wish for you is that you and three of your best friends could spend a week doing all the things that make you happy.

I'm glad you can express yourself with the written word, but it is so sad......

blackheartbitch
11-16-2007, 09:38 PM
i am a very depressing person so ive been told...i have written a few happy peices lately but even they seem to carry a dark side...i dont know why writing depressing things comes so easily for me.
ive been having some happy thoughts recently...so maybe ill be posting something happy in the next few days

groovecookie
11-17-2007, 01:52 AM
i am a very depressing person so ive been told...i have written a few happy peices lately but even they seem to carry a dark side...i dont know why writing depressing things comes so easily for me.
ive been having some happy thoughts recently...so maybe ill be posting something happy in the next few daysI don't particularly care if you write happy just let it out, happy or sad. I really do hope you do get to feel the good stuff now and then, though. That's important. Do you really hate yourself as much as you seem to? Well, don't answer that--it's none of my business, but you don't at all seem like a black heart bitch to me, you seem like a very sweet girl. And trust me I have seen a black heart bitch or two!

Freakymetalchik
11-17-2007, 04:38 AM
these are really good! :)

blackheartbitch
11-17-2007, 05:12 AM
^thanks to all.
I LOVE YOU FMC! :)