While we Burned

[EternalHunter]

While we Burned: Los Angeles Fires October, 2007

The smoke from the fires
collected in the sky
as if the city were a lounge
filled with haunting jazz
and the sweet haze of cigars.

And ash rained down upon us,
dusting our hair with temporary jewels,
burning our throats.

The wind did not blow it away,
but like a tornado, kept it swirling round,
kept the fire moving.
At dusk the ocean and the sky
shared the world.

And across hillsides in darkness
the cat eyes crouch,
red embers to remind us
that we are hunted,
that fire, like man,
can claim the darkness.

[sylvanlightning]

Crystal sharpness... love that last stanza

[Vetty214]

What an excellent poem. Keep writing and sharing.

[KittenX]

[The smoke from the fires
collected in the sky
as if the city were a lounge
filled with haunting jazz
and the sweet haze of cigars.]

Your opening stanza is superb! Very concrete and with just enough unique imagery to make it really stand out. I absolutely adore the image of a lounge with jazz and a haze (mm zz's alliteration) with cigars.

[And ash rained down upon us,
dusting our hair with temporary jewels,
burning our throats.]

Again, great image of ash raining down, as if it's a natural occurrence, when clearly it's not. temporary jewels is also a very memorable image.

[The wind did not blow it away,
but like a tornado, kept it swirling round,
kept the fire moving.
At dusk the ocean and the sky
shared the world.

And across hillsides in darkness
the cat eyes crouch,
red embers to remind us
that we are hunted,
that fire, like man,
can claim the darkness.]

And wow, what an ending. cat eyes crouching! red embers!!! Inspiring.

[skyfire]

very nice use of imagery...nice metaphores as well...and i agree with kitten, the first stanza is superb...

[EternalHunter]

Thanks everyone...hopefully I will be inspired to write something new soon.