Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the ____

[Posthumous]

porn!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/38/Lifecall-1.jpg

Fill in the blank

[warmhandedcanadian]

wait, this is funny except that little old lady ... its making me sad.



I'll say POT!

[Posthumous]

wait, this is funny except that little old lady ... its making me sad.


Don't feel bad. She was askin for it.

[jerry420]

beer!
oh wait its right here...nevermind...

[rkdmdmnrkldm]

toilet paper. Eww this could get messy

[themnax]

the stupid keyboard. that's why there's so many typos and cryptic grammer. i'm having to type with my back scratcher gripped in my teath.

=^^=
.../\...

[mitten_kitten]

wait, this is funny except that little old lady ... its making me sad.

She said something really nasty about you and your dogs...she won't do that again.. :D



Help!!! I've fallen and I can't reach the remote...

[crummyrummy]

Help, I've fallen , and I cant reach the tip of my big toe.

[lovelorned]

Help, I've fallen and I can't reach the ground!

[mitten_kitten]

I've fallen and I can't reach the tampons...

[hailtothekingbaby]

Help, I've fallen and I can't reach the ground!Lol. :) Witty.

My grandma often falls and can't get up again. She has a button around her neck to beep for help but they (the people supposed to help her) often just call my parents because they don't have time - wtf??

I shall not participate.

[Mellow Yellow]

bong.

[crummyrummy]

.....the remote!!!!

[indian~summer]

lube




:leaving:

[PriceCheck]

corkscrew

[warmhandedcanadian]

little old lady basher




(she'll never talk about my dogs again in that way!)

[mitten_kitten]

.....the remote!!!!
I already said that!


I've fallen and I can't get the top off my beer...

[GLENGLEN]

Help I've Fallen And I Can't Reach My "Medi Alert"......Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeep..!!!!!.....Big Group Hug Family Members!!........Try And Hold Back The Tears!!.......Now!!.....We Get To The Important Bit !!.......... Time To Read The "Old Bags" Last Will And Testiment.......In Other Words .........Whats In It For Me ?????.........Cheers Glen.

[crummyrummy]

I already said that!


I've fallen and I can't get the top off my beer...sorry, I appear to have fallen and cannot reach the edit button.

[Mellow Yellow]

I appear to have fallen and cannot reach the edit button.

It happens to me all the time.

[PriceCheck]

...hammer, mayonnaise, or oven mitts. All I have is the stop watch.

[FlyingBurritoBro]

...flush lever.

[crummyrummy]

....the off button. Poor Gramma.....

[PriceCheck]

Off button on my 'puter. I don't want ma knowin' I's lookinit the porns again.

[themnax]

REACHING 'the' remote isn't the problem. i'm surrounded by 20 of the damd things, i just can't remember which one does what! there's the one that fires the orbital mind control lazer, or, wait, or is that the one for the audio sequencer. then there's this one ...

=^^=
.../\...

[crummyrummy]

..the box of tissue..

[ametisti]

the ground. damn who put this bottomless pit in the middle of living room?

[crummyrummy]

...the bottle of Viagra.

[stinkfoot]

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the _____

dikkshinerry

[crummyrummy]

....the shot gun. DAMN KIDS, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!

[PriceCheck]

Sexy manwhore I rented, and I'm paying by the hour! :(

[hippy i am]

Help, I have fallen & I cannot reach the edge of the cliff.

[ametisti]

.... my joint

[crummyrummy]

..my dignity.

[*~HoneyKitty~*]

help ive fallen & cant reach the cow repellant & marmalade *cry*

[stinkfoot]

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the floor!

[Mitok]

I've fallen and i can't reach the detonator!

[crummyrummy]

I have fallen, and I cant reach the espresso brownies.

[Moon_Unit]

stash

[evil i 13]

mason jar of T-virus

[crummyrummy]

doorbell

[hippy i am]

The red and green wires.

[GLENGLEN]

Flagooon Of "Cooking Sherry"........ I'm Getting Seriously Thirsty Down Here....




Hell..Do I Care...????...Cheers Glen.



P.S. ......What A Heartless..Uncaring ..Miserable Excuse For A Human Being I Am.........This Poor ...Helpless... Old Lady...Has Fallen In A Crumpled Heap............And What Is My Response.?????....Yep You Guessed It.............I'll Just Walk To The Fridge....After I Finish This Post.....To Top Up My Wine Glass....

Compassionately Yours....

Glen.

[farmout]

computater, need my hip forums fix......:-)

[Rock Hard]

Help! I've fallen and can't reach the Tea and Scrumpets!

[stinkfoot]

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the word book thingy...

The word's dictionary!

...the the pages of meanings....

it's DICTIONARY, fuckwad!!!

... that Webster book thing..

aaaah fuck, I give up, stay there-- friggin yutz!

[Rock Hard]

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the "Big Double Ended Dildo that I use to stop the draught from coming in under the door"

[Love Fest1969]

bloody knife on the floor.

[GLENGLEN]

Reach The Note Pad To Write My "Last Will And Testement" In Which I Intended To Leave My .......Multimillion Dollar Bank a/c.......Stocks And Shares........Beach Houses In ......Australia.......Florida......France.......It aly ........My "Lear Jet"........Snow Chalet In Switzerland......etc etc etc etc..............To My Cherished.. Caring..Sweet.. Grandson GLENGLEN .



WHAT THA!!!!!!!!! FER F***S SAKE........DAMN YOU WOMEN.......GET UP OFF THAT FREAKEN FLOOR.......NOW !!! I TELL YOU !!! NOW!!! NOW!!!
NOW!!!....DAMNI'T......!!!!!!!!!





Yours..... In The Quest For A Simpler Life....

Your Devoted Grandson.....Glen..

P.S. Luv Ya Gran.XOXOXO

[crummyrummy]

the "g" spot

[Love Fest1969]

trail mix

[crummyrummy]

crayons

[stonedmonkiwana]

oxygen tank or the pack of cigarettes hidden between the couch cushions

[Love Fest1969]

Planter's Nuts

[stonedmonkiwana]

sack of weed on the coffee table

[farmout]

Beer...............:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

hot pockets

[Rock Hard]

the old coot with the large penis, that made me fall over in the first place!

[madlizard]

Firm ass

[crummyrummy]

lobster harmonica

[farmout]

Kill switch.........:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

cookie jar

[farmout]

easy button.......:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

remote control

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Hay Fork

[crummyrummy]

the BeeGees autobiography.

[stonedmonkiwana]

chocolate covered grasshoppers

[crummyrummy]

toilet paper

[stonedmonkiwana]

the toilet

[crummyrummy]

poison

[stonedmonkiwana]

gun I was using to shoot the hostages I have in my cellar

[bandbeyondescription]

fire poker

[crummyrummy]

The newest issue of Elle magazine

[bandbeyondescription]

moon

[stonedmonkiwana]

stars =D

[crummyrummy]

my life alert bracelet

[stonedmonkiwana]

^^I laughed my ass off on that one.

prosthetic legs on my bed

[farmout]

ky-jelly......:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

lighter.. I want to smoke a bowl

[crummyrummy]

Wii controller

[stonedmonkiwana]

alcohol cabinet

[crummyrummy]

hippy haven tie dyes link

[stonedmonkiwana]

apple juice my friend left on the table in a funny little container

[crummyrummy]

potato gun

[stonedmonkiwana]

Milli Vanilli CD

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Shock collar

[stonedmonkiwana]

TV Guide

[crummyrummy]

easter candy

[farmout]

chitlets......:-)

[crummyrummy]

glue gun

[farmout]

weedwhacker kill switch.......:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

herbal refreshments

[FlyingBurritoBro]

church key (bottle opener)

[stonedmonkiwana]

rat poison

[crummyrummy]

nuke enable switch

[stonedmonkiwana]

phone on the wall

[farmout]

reins.......:-)

[crummyrummy]

the crystal decanter shaped like a mushroom.

[Love Fest1969]

bottle of vodka under the bed.

[crummyrummy]

the triple chocolate truffle brownies

[farmout]

tater chips...........:-)

[crummyrummy]

the level of mental acuity I have come to expect of myself.

[warmhandedcanadian]

breast implants

[Love Fest1969]

half rotted sandwich thats been on the table for two days.

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Cuntrags

[crummyrummy]

doritos

[Moon_Unit]

wrapping paper

[stinkfoot]

cyanide capsule

[Love Fest1969]

mix tape

[GLENGLEN]

My Laptop Puuter ...So I Can Send A Xmas "Hate Message "To All You A%oles Out There That Have Posted All Those Nasty..Evil..Hurtful..Comments About Me........And Not Once Did Even So Much As One Of You Miserable Sods ....Make The Slightest Attempt To Help Me To Get Up Off This F***in Cold Floor.........May Santa Put Nothing But ....Nasty....Painfully Explosive ....Body Distorting......Gifts In Your Stockings This Festive Season..........This Xmas Has "Sucked" For Me ......Thanks For Nothing.!!!..... Buttplugs All Of You.!!!.........



On A Brighter Note Fellow Posters......2007 Has Brought Me Lots Of Laughs On These Threads......May I Take This Opportunity To Wish You All......"Seasons Greetings"....And A Happy And Prosperous 2008......


Peace...Love...And Cheers...........Glen.

[crummyrummy]

Chainsaw

[farmout]

defibulator......:-)

[Rock Hard]

Michael Bolton CD.

[stinkfoot]

thesaurus.

[warmhandedcanadian]

bounce sheets

[Love Fest1969]

rubix cube

[crummyrummy]

leash

[farmout]

cheez-its........:-)

[crummyrummy]

my Speedos.

[Love Fest1969]

ziploc bags

[crummyrummy]

My ping pong paddle

[Love Fest1969]

my notebook so i can write down my final thoughts of life and let everyone know how much i never really liked them

[crummyrummy]

Yahtzee Cup

[marbchic]

vibrator

[crummyrummy]

silk pants

[farmout]

viagra.......:-)

[Rock Hard]

The Humphrey Bogart Blowup Penis!

[crummyrummy]

My battle axe, and the orcs are coming..THE ORCS ARE COMING!!!!!!!

[Rock Hard]

Village People's "You can't stop the the Music" album cover!

[Love Fest1969]

Sunday paper I love the comics section

[crummyrummy]

the fluffy whip

[Love Fest1969]

my skateboard

[crummyrummy]

the lysol

[FlyingBurritoBro]

the bourbon

[crummyrummy]

my jammies with the feetses.

[Love Fest1969]

my PSP

[crummyrummy]

the rum

[warmhandedcanadian]

jalepeno havarti

[farmout]

the bong......:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

the light switch

[farmout]

out house......:-)

[crummyrummy]

the pull on my zipper

[Love Fest1969]

My work boots

[crummyrummy]

the volume nob

[GLENGLEN]

....Crummeys "Knob"...Ewwwww....(hand me the sick bag please).....


Clearly... The Old Dear Has Reached The Point Of "Total Desperation".......She Can't Sink Any Lower.......Has Hit The Skids.......Rock(cock) Bottom.....





........Hoping There's Some Compassionate Soul Out There..."With A Gun In His Pocket"...(and pleased to see her)...Willing To Put This "Sad Old Bag"...Out Of Her Misery...Once And For All.......



Yours...."With A Vision"...Of Crummys Knob.......Ewwwww(again only louder)

Glen.

[warmhandedcanadian]

tim horton's drive thru

[farmout]

my cumberbund....:-)

[hailtothekingbaby]

Auschwitz Birkenau

[crummyrummy]

the eject button

[bandbeyondescription]

the stars

[crummyrummy]

The corn Muffins

[farmout]

putty-tat......:-)

[crummyrummy]

my white russian

[Love Fest1969]

Scooby Snacks

[crummyrummy]

fluffernutters

[marbchic]

kkereryyyyyyh bbbvvbbooiooaasasaarrrrtrtrrrddddd

[crummyrummy]

The subspace transponder

[Idunno~do.you?]

telephone.

[crummyrummy]

whiteout

[FlyingBurritoBro]

the Astroglide

[crummyrummy]

the damn flying burritos.... can you help a brother out?

[FlyingBurritoBro]

The salsa

[crummyrummy]

my detatchable penis

[FlyingBurritoBro]

You been drinkin'? :) The do-it-yourself vasectomy kit. As seen on TV.

[Idunno~do.you?]

my shoes

[E-Rocc]

ass

[Love Fest1969]

fish tank

[farmout]

gerbil.........:-)

[FlyingBurritoBro]

fingernail clippers

[E-Rocc]

ass

[Love Fest1969]

Bugs Bunny Waffle Maker

[farmout]

easy button.......:-)

[crummyrummy]

my mouse

[E-Rocc]

CN tower

[crummyrummy]

the chimichungas

[myself]

...the mouse to hit send the message!

[E-Rocc]

Rat dogs (chiminichunga)

[farmout]

falls city......:-)

[Rock Hard]

Hustler magazine I left on the coffee table

[E-Rocc]

Iowa

[Love Fest1969]

Limited edition Star Wars action figures.

[nynysuts]

Help I've fallen and can't reach the ocean

[OlderWaterBrother]

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach the......wait......what was I saying?

[E-Rocc]

grandma phone, aka bananas

[crummyrummy]

Can opener.

[E-Rocc]

grandma bees aka birds

[crummyrummy]

Commorative statuette of liberty.

[E-Rocc]

School, fifteen miles uphill bothways in a blizzard.

[crummyrummy]

The coasters!!!!!

[E-Rocc]

diseased wound on my leg

[Love Fest1969]

Easymac

[crummyrummy]

the caption contest thread.

[farmout]

goat nipples.....:-)

[E-Rocc]

my hands

[Idunno~do.you?]

toilet.

[crummyrummy]

proper salad fork.

[E-Rocc]

reachin broom

[farmout]

muffins.....:-)

[hippy i am]

Paul McCartney's belly button.

[farmout]

Hot tub......:-)

[hippy i am]

...the ceiling fan cord!

[FlyingBurritoBro]

the noose

[hippy i am]

the catbox!

[GLENGLEN]

The Little Pin That Dropped Out Of One Of My Husbands Collection Of World War 2 Hand Grenades..........tic..tic 5sec..........4sec.........3sec.........2sec...... ...1 second.........And We Have Liftoff.......!!!!.KEEERRRRBOOOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!..... And There She Goes...Sportsfans....Lifting Gracefully.. ...Ever Skyward......In A Shower Of "Shit And Small Stones"......




Yours.......Whilst..Groping His Way Through A Cloud Of...Dust...Smoke...Blood...Assorted Bone Fragments...And Grotesquely Mangled Human Flesh....

Glen.




P.S. take a look at her photo in the first post.....doesn't that look like a grenade in her left hand..???..spooky eh !

[farmout]

saddle......:-)

[myself]

...floor!

[farmout]

tic tacs.......:-)

[GLENGLEN]

Help! I've Fallen And I Can't Reach The.........Telephone To Ring My Closest Friend And Buddy..GLEN...:(
He Promised Me Yesterday He Would Drop Over Very Early This Morning And Drive Me Out To A Place He Called..."Palais De Farmout" To Watch An Early Morning Fireworks Display.............Said It Was Going To Be Bigger Than The 4th Of July....:eek:
I Thought It A Bit Strange However.....That A Mr Farmout Would Hold A Fireworks Display At That Time Of Day...:confused:
Oh Well Nevermind.......Perhaps He Will Remember To Take Me Next Time.




Cheers Glen.

[Oneness]

my hands

[farmout]

fire extinguisher....
Mr GlenGlen is back visiting again from down under and I fear he has more than firecrackers in his rather huge suitcase, which actually looks like a smaller version of the weapon dropped from Anola Gay in WWII.....:-(
Sendin out an ... _ _ _ ... That would be SOS to you non amateur radio types...

[Oneness]

mushrooms

[farmout]

beer.....:-)

[Oneness]

sky

[crummyrummy]

The silencer for my gun.

[Oneness]

Flintstone phone

[crummyrummy]

the darkside of the moon

[Rasputain1]

Enter key

[Oneness]

the heart of the sun

[farmout]

my pipe....:-)

[Oneness]

Black Sabbath album

[warmhandedcanadian]

taser
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/taserST2006_468x342.jpg

[BBAD]

barf bowl

http://bp1.blogger.com/_DEPuKIoxvxE/RqDqvXiWeCI/AAAAAAAAASo/F_9pIj15L9Q/s400/lowpoint.jpg

[warmhandedcanadian]

hostas

http://hostatrader.com/store/images/fried%20green%20tomatoes.JPG

[Oneness]

Dr. Theodore J. Gugenhiemen's medicated foot powder

[farmout]

beerstien.....:-)

[BBAD]

Pancakes

[warmhandedcanadian]

sausagesssssssssss

[BBAD]

lawnmower

[farmout]

herdiegertie.....:-)

[BBAD]

cant reach the dictionary.....................to check what the hell a herdiegertie is

[farmout]

I think I spelled it wrong....:-) Its a hand powered drill....

toilet flush handle.....:-)

[BBAD]

M&M's

[Oneness]

other person that fell over

[BBAD]

Cant reach the Schweppes

[warmhandedcanadian]

gin

[farmout]

tonic...:-)

[BBAD]

Smoked Cheddar Cheese

[farmout]

oysters....:-)

[BBAD]

Cant seem to reach me toes lately

[Eskimo101]

acid

[BBAD]

cant seem to reach any ambition lately either

[Oneness]

phone!

[BBAD]

CrackerJacks

http://whitesoxpride.mlblogs.com/photos/uncategorized/crackerjacks.jpg

[Oneness]

Women

[BBAD]

Remote

http://www.radioarchives.org/pictures/Elvia%20Allman%20on%20I%20Love%20Lucy.jpg

[Oneness]

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/21/21/22252121.jpg
Red Button!

[BBAD]

The mother of all Switches

http://www.daa-studios.com/images/deathrow.jpg

[Oneness]

Blood

[BBAD]

the Pog collection

http://members.shaw.ca/triviaqueen/ephemera/pogs1.jpg

[Oneness]

Antidote....

P.S. I want those pogs... theyre made of my soul