coming of cold

[shobs]

they’re strolling along the endless roads of time

contemplating if they will ever reach the destination

the final gate

blurred faces through the glass are hidden

deep sapphire diamonds shining through your hair

wish I could have been there

dark earth vibrations

closing in time on rippling shades of gray

pasture skies stretching throughout children’s dreams

purple flowers floating as Indians dance

searching for reason in symbolic peyote trance

windless tunnel’s inescapability

fading light, sunshine dimmer

rising moon put asleep the innocents

those that do not dwell among the night

all that will run and yell in fright

hallways full of Doors

curse the lush cabbage singing of the officials

pale faced mongrels are coming to the party

the plant will grow, out among the stars and

should I have died? or will it be yet to come

when they all have congregated and I am done

luxurious skies spread across the soft glowing fire

rain unexpectedly occurs within the absence of mind

green mist engulfing all hope of foundation

wooden palates cackling at their own death




winter smiles at its own perfection

[KittenX]

There are a lot of loose ends and scattered images, but it's hard to find a concrete theme, a topic, a message in this...unless it's just to describe your trip. For me, your writing lacks focus, find a subject and then embellish it with all this great imagery you've got going on, but when you just have imagery but nothing to back it up, your poem loses strength.