I Saw It

[L.A.Matthews]

I saw it across the way,
with peacocks and clouds of
HOWL! HOWL! HOWL
in the moonlit meadow.

Cherished by me, who hasn’t?
A relevant bone to hold so
close to the cry of a lonely heartened
peasant.

And it sees me. It sees me with
hand in air and all the features
of a broken stone: whole, yet the cracks
still fit.

And as though the creeping of my peers
follow me down, I sit and read.
Life ain’t no stronger than you permit.
A chasm to which you see it fall and

blot the rays from my eyes with
swooshing and squelching splots
of beauty pounding my balls
to sludge—to sludge.

[floydianslip6]

That's a really nice piece! I like the imagery and the pace of it.

[J.I.]

Yeah , I like it too.
It is really good :)

[L.A.Matthews]

Why the fuck was this moved into the Poetry forum? The Poetry forum is shit, and no one gives constructive critique.

Also, people know my work better on the Writer's Forum...At least they did before White_Scorpian and Ron went.

[Malapascua]

Why the fuck was this moved into the Poetry forum? The Poetry forum is shit, and no one gives constructive critique.

Also, people know my work better on the Writer's Forum...At least they did before White_Scorpian and Ron went.It the poetry forum is shit, as you put it, then maybe this piece should just be removed. But wiat, you could do that yourself, couldn't you. You could edit your post to simply read " . "

So if you ever look back into the poetry forum and read this, edit your stuff and re-post it where you want it.