i'm a lesbian who had a thing with her cousin who is apparently now gay

[sweethomealabama]

Lets start from beginning.

I first took him to the gay club when he was 19 and I told him I was lesbian and he saw me with girls and stuff. I got my first girlfriend and we have been together ever since.

He started making out with guys than told me he was gay and I was happy but then something happened and he said he wasn't gay and said he was just experimenting to see what it was like because I had done it. he seems to do a lot of things I do. Anyway for the next three years he saw girls and no guys and one night I have always sensed he has had an attraction to me but he is my cuz and i'm lesbian.

One night we kissed, I was well drunk and started kissing him, he didn't seem to mind and carried on and even asked me if I had turned straight and forgotton my girlfriend who at this point we had splited up so we were not together, the started to get all weird on me and kept looking at me and said he it was difficult and I went back to my girlfriend, he didn't speak to me for months and months. A few months ago we met up and he told me he was gay, I was happy and we never spoke of that night. We went out to a club and he told me was in love with a woman ( i thought god he is confused isn't he), than he hugged me, I said If I wasn't your cuz would you date me and stuff and he said stop embarrassing me, I laughed and he said maybe I would but he is still supposed to be gay. He always says to me I need a man to turn me etc but if he is so gay he should understand its not that easy to just turn.

I know its a long rant and stuff but he is freaking me out in many ways. One night I could feel him pressing against me and one time he out his hand on my bum and said it was so no one else looks at me. He doesn;t act like any of my other gay friends but he has got something gay about him and he does fancy guys and stuff I just wish I didn't get this feeling he likes me a bit more than he should.

Any advice guys?
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[rocknroll_girl]

My advice might be unpopular, but...


I dunno, for some weird reason, the whole cousin thing doesn't gross me out so much. In fact I never quite understood why it was considered so absolutely digusting to at least have a crush on someone in your extended family who isn't related by all that much blood.

For example...I have this very young aunt who married my very cool uncle when they were in their teens because she thought she was a lesbian and was scared. They're still married. She and I are so close (because she was one of the first people I came out to and I'm the only family member she's ever told) on an almost spiritual level that sometimes it scares me. We're not related by blood at all, I mean she's not my mom or dad's sister, but of course I would never tell anyone "yeah, I used to have a crush on my aunt because she's infinitely wise and beautiful." They'd gross out.

So...maybe ignore the cousin issue...seems like the real problem is with the fact that a boy you respect/care about likes you and you're gay. Maybe just explain that reality to him flat-out without beating around the relative problem, if you're sure he likes you...gives him less time to deny it and puts the problem right out there. Tell - don't ask - him that you aren't into guys and that's that. It's wrong to let the tension exist when you know you two will NEVER be together.

hope that helps!

[sweethomealabama]

I'm going to try and set him up with one of my gay male friends.. He should thank me for this.