Jesus Was Way Cool

[ChiefCowpie]

Jesus Was Way Cool by King Missile


Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

[HippieLngstckng]

That's pretty cool, I like everything except:


He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines


While I don't think that Jesus would have a problem with using mild things like wine and marijuana in moderation, I really don't think that he would approve of hard drugs like coke or amphetemines. The Bible warns against intoxication, and I don't know about ya'll, but I remember my intoxication levels after only small amounts of the two afore mentioned drugs, and I was *WASTED* :eek: . I stick to this rule... If it doesn't grow out of the ground and it's not made by natural processes, it's not going into my body, because G-d didn't create it. That's me though... :rolleyes:

[FreeWillFreeLove]

hey they're all natural right?

anyhoo coke is natural grows right out the ground, and amphetamines would have to have a natural source, as all things on earth originating from nature right?

even nuclear reactors are natural (in a sense, i know they're fission not fusion)

jesus blatantly would of been the first, or one of the first hippies, or an early David Blaine

[gnrm23]

well...
cocaine hydrochloride powder doesn't grow right out of the ground...
and neither do amphetamine salts...
chewing coca leaf, or drinking coca tea, is probably no more dangerous or unhealthy that chewing betel nuts or drinking espresso...
(a crude analogy: coca leaf is to beer as cocaine HCl is to grain alcohol...)

and while amphetamine may occur in trace amounts in a few plants, & the related ephedrine & cathine derviatives are found in several plants, it's a far cry from chewing khat or drinking ma huang tea to gobbling ephedrine tabs or adderols or snorting or smoking meth...
~
anyways, what intoxicants jesus may have done personally, or might approve of as the model for christendom and/or the one who sitteth at the right hand of god, well, i dunno, dude...



~

*(fades out to doobie brothers singin' "jesus is just all right with me" ...)*


~

[mynameiskc]

cocaine saved my life. i wouldn't knock it completely. i learned to love my family again when i used coke and was able to talk about all the pain and suffering i endured. getting it out opened all sorts of doors to my soul. i love my family and forgive them completely now. then i quit coke. all is well.

[HippieLngstckng]

cocaine saved my life.

Well, I guess that proves that one man's meat and drink is another man's poison... It was poison for me. Glad it helped you out though, that's cool... :D

Don't you get cravings though, since it made you feel that way? That's why I regret doing it - yeah, it felt nice, and yes, it make me crank out some poems like a mad woman... but I still, years later, get moments where I feel like I want it and I'll freak without it.

I regret ever trying it the first time... :( All it was for me was trying to fill a hole that can't be filled by anything of the material plane. When I feel that craving now, I know it's because I haven't been trying to fill that hole with the right things, like Church or the Word. I've been trying to fill it with other things... Like beer, for example. A lot of beer can fit in that hole... *grin*

[mynameiskc]

Well, I guess that proves that one man's meat and drink is another man's poison... It was poison for me. Glad it helped you out though, that's cool... :D

Don't you get cravings though, since it made you feel that way? That's why I regret doing it - yeah, it felt nice, and yes, it make me crank out some poems like a mad woman... but I still, years later, get moments where I feel like I want it and I'll freak without it.

I regret ever trying it the first time... :( All it was for me was trying to fill a hole that can't be filled by anything of the material plane. When I feel that craving now, I know it's because I haven't been trying to fill that hole with the right things, like Church or the Word. I've been trying to fill it with other things... Like beer, for example. A lot of beer can fit in that hole... *grin*
no, i really don't ever crave it. i found that once my personal issues were attacked, confronted and exposed, i had no craving for it. doing it after that made me feel ill. i've smelled it at the occaisional party since then, someone somewhere was using it, and it started an automatic sick feeling in me. my ex was not so fortunate. or maybe he was. he's sober now. i guess i just didn't have an addictive personality. sobriety really DOES feel so good. i can't be around it or crank. both make me automatically nauseated and give me a headache. that part of my life is done. i'm happy to have escaped unscathed.

[Maes]

can u picture a jesus with short "a la bruce" hair?

[ChiefCowpie]

everyone has to ask jesus if cocaine is for them or not and then you will know if its your drug

[queenannie]

You're cool, too.

Too bad those green eyed monsters didn't realize they could be cool, too!