Top 1000 things that you can do with an egg

[bird_migration]

1000. Eat it.

[stinkfoot]

999. Fertilize it.

[bird_migration]

999. Fertilize it.
Please follow the proper numbering.

[stinkfoot]

Please follow the proper numbering.Done... Must be my imperfect human mind misfiring.

[Pressed_Rat]

1000. Eat it.
Beat it.

[AncientHippie]

997 - If I remember correctly, you can stand it on end for about 60 seconds during the equinoxes.

[ItzJessI3itch]

996.) Launch it at a house. :)

[lace_and_feet]

995. Dye it.

[Pressed_Rat]

994. Fry it

[rebelfight420]

993 Give it oral sex

[stinkfoot]

992. Fold it.

[lace_and_feet]

991. Peel it (when hard-boiled).

[Posthumous]

990. Stick it where the sun don't shine (like in the refrigerator).

[themnax]

paint it black with a red dot on one end and carry arround the house thee times, then put it in a box between the cealing rafters in the attick or crawl space. this is supposed to be like some sort of desicant gell for absorbing negative energy. i've always been a bit sceptical of this concept myself though. not of the idea that things can be done that way, just that it's kind of like ant traps, you know the way they attract and keep attracting ants to wherever you put them, especially when the've been used up and are no longer working.

(someone else can worry about the silly damd numbers, but i guess this would be along about 989 or so)

=^^=
.../\...

[scratcho]

suck it.(as in egg-suckin' dawg)

[I'minmyunderwear]

987- use it to demonstrate the effect of drugs on your brain

[crummyrummy]

give it a name and raise it as your own

[fitzy21]

and the number 1 thing to do with an egg
dun dun dun....

1. yolk someone

[NightRose]

992: Smash it on your brothers head and laugh at him all day long.

[NightRose]

984^

[fitzy21]

we skipped all those numbers and went to #1

[YankNBurn]

pickle it, wax it for storage

[BraveSirRubin]

I lost count...



Sit on it and hope that it hatches.

[asilos vulnerado]

989- Put it in someones sleeping bag

[I'minmyunderwear]

dirty hippies don't even know how to count....


#1006- write a short letter on it (a long one's ok if you can write small), pack it in a box full of newspaper or styrofoam peanuts, and mail it to your cousin in abu dhabi

[hippieatheart]

let it get rotten and throw it on somebody

[I'minmyunderwear]

#461- drop it off a wall and hire all the kings men/horses to try and reassemble it

[rebelfight420]

orphan catching


http://www.photoshopnerds.com/images/egg_14.jpg

[yo-yo]

stick ur finger n it

[hippy i am]

Number 971.

971. Put it on a spoon and run the egg race and try not to drop it.

[I'minmyunderwear]

970: run the egg race but intentionally drop it

[hippy i am]

969. Pick up the egg and continue running.

[I'minmyunderwear]

968 pick up the egg, put it in your pocket, and go get some coffee

[hippy i am]

967. Drop the egg on the table as payment for the coffee.

[crummyrummy]

970:
Egg-kabobs

[hippy i am]

965. Make egg salad!

[crummyrummy]

966:
bury it in the sand, wrapped in a fish

[hippy i am]

963. Take it to a tattoo parlor and get its monroe pierced.

[crummyrummy]

964:
paint it up with puzzled piece shaped markings, coloring one puzzle piece completely black.

[hippy i am]

961. Put a sticky plastic eye on the egg mentioned above in the piece that is painted black. Call it the Eye of the Egg. We shall worship it.

[crummyrummy]

962:
Dye it red on one side and yellow on the other, with an orange stripe in the middle (longways, mind you ) and secretly replace an undyed egg at the market with it.....repeat with new egg using different color scheme.....

[hippy i am]

961. Name it Bob. And give some cocaine.

[crummyrummy]

90058:
drop it into a pot of boiling vodka

[hippy i am]

959. Watch it evaporate in that pot of boiling, hot vodka.

[crummyrummy]

960:
Mail it to a random address taken from the internet.

[hippy i am]

957. Run over it with a car

[crummyrummy]

958: Stuff it in your underpants and walk through airport security

[hippy i am]

955. Give it your cats and let them play with it.

[crummyrummy]

956: Long walks in the rain

[hippy i am]

953. Throw it to the flamingoes.

[crummyrummy]

954:
teach it to play dead

[I'minmyunderwear]

921 teach it to play the piano

[crummyrummy]

922:
blow it kisses across a crowded bar

[stinkfoot]

3.14159265:

Use it as an ingredient to make pi.

[crummyrummy]

1001
insert it into an inflated baloon

[stinkfoot]

32 ft/sec/sec:

Drop it from a rooftop to test gravity.

[sublime94]

952. sneak under a pretty girls skirt and throw egg directly up!

[crummyrummy]

953
put it in the offering basket at church

[stinkfoot]

9.34.76.08.867543.908:

scramble it

[crummyrummy]

901:
Teach it to sit

[WoodRat]

900:

Figure out why it's not working.

[hippy i am]

941. Tell it to SHUT UP!

[I'minmyunderwear]

22435: bend the chicken over and shove that egg back where it came from!

[WoodRat]

666:

Fill it with trinitro taluine and throw it at someone!

[WoodRat]

941. Tell it to SHUT UP!^^ you suck bloated fetus at this, it's suppoed to be 1041,
and eggs don't talk, we need to raise them maliciously first!

777:
Carefully culture wolfsblood into it.

[crummyrummy]

glue it to an igloo using snot

[WoodRat]

490:
Give it a number and tell it to get in line

420:
paint it green and smoke it

420:
leave it white and snort it

123:
sit there and stair at it

[crummyrummy]

create a home for and call it the egg mahol

[stinkfoot]

1040:

Pay its income tax

[crummyrummy]

name it Emporer for Life and invade Gaul

[WoodRat]

377:
shoot heroine and drool all over it

[crummyrummy]

compose romantic poetry with/about it

[WoodRat]

123:

Make handshadows for it.

[Lady of the Freaks]

sit on it until it hatches.

[WoodRat]

13:

paint it ti-dye until it rots

[ziggyfly]

Introduce it to people in an elevator

[crummyrummy]

take it to a funeral and place it in the corpse' mouth

[rainbowedskylover]

take it on a trip to india

[crummyrummy]

place in one of those tennis ball shooter machine thingies
http://www.tennis-ball-machine.com/Images/400x360/Lob-ster_Elite_Model_2_Tennis_Ball_Machine.jpg (http://www.tennis-ball-machine.com/catalog/shopping/Lob-ster_Elite_Model_2_Tennis_Ball_Machine)

[~MorningManiacMusic~]

1: Hit it with a bat.

[crummyrummy]

feed it to a chicken

[bandbeyondescription]

o man i have a funny story bout eggs......ok i was making boiled egges case i was in a eggy mood so i made it an i cracked it and it still yolk in it so i threw it over my fence and it landed im my nebiors pool it was awsome man

[i_was_in_shroom_land]

dip it in water, then put it in the freezer for 24hours or more , then egg somebodys window... - of a car, a house.. you decide.

[PriceCheck]

Hand it to a starving child, and when he reaches for it, a tear of gratitude escaping the corner of his eye, smash it, and laugh.

[crummyrummy]

Plan a terrorist attack on an Eggo Waffle manufacturing plant with it.

[themnax]

set it on an inclined surface and make it roll
(someone probably already said that but there ain't no way i'm gonna spend all night checking to see)

=^^=
.../\...

[crummyrummy]

paint it w/ the face of jesus, sell it on ebay

[PriceCheck]

Hard boil, peel and cut in half, wear as pasties.

[starchild618]

stick it up your ass, without breaking it

[crummyrummy]

mount a drip candle upon it and light it, then be proud of the wicked cool results.

[PriceCheck]

Draw your boss on it, then leave it in your boss' chair. Bring it coffee every so often.

[crummyrummy]

Do that trick where you suck it through a garden hose.

[PriceCheck]

Vote for it in the next election.

[crummyrummy]

send it to space.

[PriceCheck]

Sign it up for line dancing.

[GLENGLEN]

Carefully Insert A Syringe Into It........Suck Out All The Contents........Replace The Contents With Gunpowder......Paint A Pretty Mural On It......Put A Fuse In The Hole......Light It...... And Present It To Your Mother In Law As A Loving .....Heartfelt.....Sparkling .....Celebration Of Easter..... From Her Favourite Son In Law.

Whoooooo.....Finally Got To Blow The "Old Bag" From Here To Eternity.....Doesn't Get Much Better......

Yours In Harmonious Family Relations...

Glen.

[rainbowedskylover]

throw it out of a red airplain, one of those with three layers of wings ;)

[bandbeyondescription]

throw it in you neighbors pool

[crummyrummy]

register it to vote

[FlyingBurritoBro]

sit on it

[crummyrummy]

wrap bacon around it and barbeque it

[PriceCheck]

Convince the broccoli and cabbage to vote it out of the fridge.

[crummyrummy]

play hide and seek with it, the egg getting to hide first.

[PriceCheck]

Give it its own talk show.

[crummyrummy]

Brainwash it into thinking its a vampire princess

[bandbeyondescription]

lick it in the face

[crummyrummy]

paint a face in blood on it , call it Wilson.

[PriceCheck]

Buy it a rowing machine.

[crummyrummy]

practice french kissing on it.

[farmout]

hard boil it and then play tennis with it......:-)

[crummyrummy]

bury it in the mud

[farmout]

throw it at upright bass thumpers......:-)

[CSP101]

fashion it into a stylish monocle removing the yoke ofcourse

[PriceCheck]

Lable it "stool sample" and leave it at the doctor's office.

[stonedmonkiwana]

throw it at unsuspecting people

[PriceCheck]

Train it to fetch your slippers.

[crummyrummy]

Gently place it on a train rail, then wait patiently.

[farmout]

swallow it.................:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

let it rot

[farmout]

practice yer golf swing........:-)

[stonedmonkiwana]

shoot some hoops

[crummyrummy]

give it a henna tattoo.

[PriceCheck]

Help it pick out a toupee.

[crummyrummy]

Give it to the cop at a USA/MEXICO border crossing adding "lets just keep this between us, ok?"

[Love Fest1969]

give it to someone you love

[crummyrummy]

Hide it inside your computer tower

[PriceCheck]

Paste it to your left buttcheek.

[crummyrummy]

Dye it, tell your kids a rabbit brought it.

[PriceCheck]

File a long winding groove into the shell, and a corresponding groove into your egg cup holders. From this day forward you will be able to screw your eggs firmly into place.

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Throw it at your nieghbor's house.

[i_was_in_shroom_land]

make an egg shrine

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Put pantyhose in them

[crummyrummy]

stuff them in yer underwear 1001 and one times.

[PriceCheck]

Pin it to your lapel.

[crummyrummy]

see if you can fit it in your mouth.

[PriceCheck]

Write "kick me" on it and tape it to someone's back.

[crummyrummy]

put it in a mason jar and throw it in the ocean

[farmout]

cook the dang thang.......:-)

[Love Fest1969]

take it to the school dance

[PriceCheck]

Plant it and wait patiently for your egg tree to sprout.

[i_was_in_shroom_land]

draw eyes on it, then have a staring contest with it.

[FlyingBurritoBro]

teach it to use the internet.

[PriceCheck]

Convince it that if it flaps its arms fast enough it could fly, then sit back and enjoy the hilarity.

[stinkfoot]

Teach it advanced physics.

[Love Fest1969]

start a band together

[PriceCheck]

Put it in the microwave. I promise nothing bad will happen.

[Love Fest1969]

feed it to the dog

[crummyrummy]

draw a penis and balls on it and make it dance at the local gay bar.

[farmout]

sit on it and see if it will hatch.....:-)

[crummyrummy]

Enter it in a local strongman contest.

[PriceCheck]

Roll it up a hill.

[stinkfoot]

Serve it-
like a tennis ball.

[GLENGLEN]

Take it .....A Few Of It's Mates.......Mixed Fruit..etc etc ...And Turn It Into A Beautiful Xmas Pudding...........Just Like The One I'm Consuming At This Very Moment.....



Yours...In A Glutinous..Indulgent..Xmas Spirit.......


Glen.

[crummyrummy]

Choke on it while in your underwear

[PriceCheck]

Melt it down and sell it on the black market.

[crummyrummy]

Take it to finishing school, learn it some manners.

[PriceCheck]

See how many licks it takes to get to the centre.

[crummyrummy]

teach it to jump through a hoop

[i_was_in_shroom_land]

throw it at somebody in the movie theatre

[farmout]

wrap it up as a Christmas gift.......:-)

[Love Fest1969]

take it to the swimming hole

[crummyrummy]

Have some talented bimbo suck it through a garden hose.

[*°GhOsT°LyRiC°*]

crack it and use the yoke to spike a cats hair into a mo-hawk

[Love Fest1969]

try to get high off it

[crummyrummy]

Boil it in grain alcohol.

[Love Fest1969]

make a sandwich

[PriceCheck]

Enter it in a pie eating contest.

[crummyrummy]

Iron it flat, mail it to Santa.

[stinkfoot]

Roll it uphill with your nose

[crummyrummy]

Take it to a rainbow gathering.

[PriceCheck]

Get in a big argument with it and storm out of the house.

[Love Fest1969]

dress it like a hooker and see if it makes any money

[stinkfoot]

Paint a face on it then scream, "stop staring at me!" at it as loud as you can.

[PriceCheck]

Put it in a home and never come to visit.

[GLENGLEN]

Dear PriceCheck..

May I Once Again "Take You To Task"......

My Dear Sweet... Young Lady.........Nobody....May I Repeat Nobody.....Does That To A Poor Simple Egg..!!!...

To Your Relatives.......***Yes***...

But To A Innocent...Virginic...Harmless...Simple...Peace Loving...Egg......??.....

Then My Dear.....From Me ...It's A Big Thumbs Down....



Yours...In The Protection ..Worldwide ......Of All Species Of "Endangered "Eggs.......Regardless..Of Colour..Creed..Sexual Oreintation...Religion.....Etc ...


Glen.

[crummyrummy]

Secretly hide it in a tuba.

[Love Fest1969]

get married and have egg babies

[Rock Hard]

Beat the living shit out of it, and ask it "Who's ya Daddy"

[crummyrummy]

introduce it to your cousin

[Love Fest1969]

work the same dead end job together

[crummyrummy]

Teach it to prevent forest fires

[Love Fest1969]

lick it for hours

[PriceCheck]

Build it into a snowman to give him a more impressive package.

[crummyrummy]

cuddle with it

[FlyingBurritoBro]

make it vibrate. give it to a japanese chick.

[PriceCheck]

Stick it in a jar of whiskey and fondle it when it passes out.

[crummyrummy]

glue little feets to it

[PriceCheck]

Crack it with the nutcracker your mom gave you for Christmas.

[crummyrummy]

teach it to insult the poster above it.

[PriceCheck]

Punish it for making a mistake on your taxes.

[Love Fest1969]

claim it as a dependent

[crummyrummy]

Insure it for $100,000,000

[PriceCheck]

Leave it in the rest room for the next person.

[rebelfight420]

salt and pepper it

[crummyrummy]

Roll it and see if it gathers moss.

[PriceCheck]

Post a video of it on Youtube.

[rebelfight420]

snort it

[crummyrummy]

feed it to an aardvark

[farmout]

suck it through a 50 ft garden hose......:-)

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Make egg-nog.

[farmout]

color it for the easter bunny.....:-)

[PriceCheck]

Crack it and take it back to the grocery store demanding a year's supply of free eggs and a ride on the forklift as compensation.

[crummyrummy]

Plant it , see if it grows.

[Love Fest1969]

Take it to the doctor so it can get a check up.

[PriceCheck]

Sue it for harassment.

[crummyrummy]

Oxycute it.

[PriceCheck]

Take it to a psychic to have its palm read.

[crummyrummy]

bake into a delicious pie crust

[GLENGLEN]

..Whip It To Within An Inch Of Its Life.....(using an electric mixer...not a leather whip.....you sickoes).........Create A Fullsized Pie Caseing.....(not just a miserable "crummy" crust).....Fill It With Fresh Fruit.....And Serve It To All The "Hip Forum" Members Out There In Cyberland.....With A Glass Of "Fine Aussie Wine" To Wash It Down......



Yours...Welcoming 2008.......With A Glass Of "Aussie Red"........(or ten)


Glen...

[farmout]

cook it on a hot summer day on the sidewalk........:-)

[crummyrummy]

Mail it to president Bush

[bandbeyondescription]

make a helmet for a mouse out of it

[crummyrummy]

Tattoo it with the words love and hate

[PriceCheck]

Install it in your grandma's bathroom so she doesn't fall getting out of the tub.

[crummyrummy]

Defer to it in all situations in which a decision must be made.

[PriceCheck]

Give your partner a hot egg massage.

[crummyrummy]

make a little balcony for it that clipsto your shoulder, and before you say anything looking intensly at the egg on your shoulder, then add "In accordance with the egg.." before every every statement.
FOr questions, add "The egg requires to know why..." before every question.

[Love Fest1969]

Tell it your life story

[bobblebrain]

tell someone its a ping-pong ball and trick them into hitting it with a paddle...I suggest finding someone very dumb to try this on

[crummyrummy]

secretly replace a golfers ball at the tee with it.

[PriceCheck]

Secretly replace someone's Folgers with it and see if they notice.

[crummyrummy]

See how strong the suction on your vacuum cleaner is with it.

[PriceCheck]

Give it to one of those "spare some change" guys in leu of cash.

[crummyrummy]

Put it in the offering basket at church.

[PriceCheck]

Fine it for speeding

[crummyrummy]

Glue sequins and ribbon to it, and swear up and down to all your friends its a genuine Faberge egg.

[PriceCheck]

Write an angry letter to it outlining your concerns with its conduct.

[crummyrummy]

Give it a promotion with as many as five people working directly under it.

[myself]

Mix it with shampoo in a bowl and use it to wash the fat off your hair.

[crummyrummy]

Balance it on the equinox's

[PriceCheck]

Teach it to drive a stick.

[crummyrummy]

get it drunk and go looking for fights together.

[Love Fest1969]

Join a fight club

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Mix it with shampoo in a bowl and use it to wash the fat off your hair.How'd you get the fat get in your hair? Unless... MY GOD you're kinky!


Make a bowl out of a leaf. Boil the egg in the leaf bowl over a campfire to the amazement of your friends.

[Love Fest1969]

Make egg cereal.

[Rael]

Turn it in for being the shooter on the grassy knoll.

[PriceCheck]

Give it as first prize for an essay competition.

[crummyrummy]

Teach it to play banjo and hunt river rafters.

[PriceCheck]

Sign it up for a dating service and claim that it makes $86K.

[Rael]

Send it into space to terrorize Astronauts.

[Love Fest1969]

Kick it down the street.

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Pretend it's following you. Call the police.

[Love Fest1969]

Get it appraised.

[PriceCheck]

Name it Elmo.

[crummyrummy]

Circumsize it.

[PriceCheck]

Make it do push ups for talking smack.

[crummyrummy]

Get braces for it.

[PriceCheck]

Tie a string to it and use it to play free games at the arcade.

[farmout]

make deviled eggs out of it, laced with goat cheese.......:-)

[FlyingBurritoBro]

Throw it back and forth with a friend in ever-increasing distances until one of you drops it. Have a funeral. Say something nice about it.