snakeyes
04-25-2007, 12:43 AM
Thank you Peace and you other posters, I guess I can say, for 'inviting' me to share some of my thoughts. I hope to contribute with the intention of keeping a 'running interactive diary of (my) inner mind' and hearing your ideas, because I think lots of you have similar issues and interests. Hopefully we can help each other out because I need help and I also have alot of love to give, if I could only find a way to do it. Maybe this is it, so I give it a try.
Basically, I feel like I live in a different world than everyone else in my life and it's hard because i desire communion, but it's impossible because noone else (I know) seems to believe, like I do, that we are not actually separate individuals, but actually one entity. I'm not stoned now, but yeah, I've taken alot of drugs. That doesn't explain it entirely, because I've always felt the same ever since I was a kid.
My psychiatrist says that I need to want to be well, but I don't, and I can't if that means I'm going to be happy living a 'normal' life in ignorant bliss in this insane world. It's not all doom and gloom folks, because the way I see it is that the world I live in is better than that. I love the world (as I see it) and I love who I am, so I can't change! Thing is, this doesn't seem to help me get on with other people who don't share the same vision.
It's not all sweetness and light either because I have many views which many people will find controversial. And this is why I find it hard to relate to people. eg. Physical death is good and natural. Why do people fear it and try to prevent it?, Men and women have specific and different roles in a healthy society. Millions of years of evolution have made us that way and to try to change that in a few generations is tearing our society apart. Children have no rights to make decisions in their lives. Adults have a duty to guide and protect children. To give children freedom is to abuse them. Democracy is an evil. The rule of the hedonistic, selfish and ignorant masses will cause decadence and self-destruction.
That's a brief summary of where I'm at. Doubtless that I am confused about many things, which is why my life is a mess. I want to learn to live harmoniously with others, but I can't work it out by myself.
Why on earth would anyone want to respond to this? I just read it through and it seems like it's pretty fucked up. Who knows? There may be someone out there who has thoughts on any of these topics, and who can enlighten me? I'm not shy about anything, totally honest and open to any suggestions.
Basically, I feel like I live in a different world than everyone else in my life and it's hard because i desire communion, but it's impossible because noone else (I know) seems to believe, like I do, that we are not actually separate individuals, but actually one entity. I'm not stoned now, but yeah, I've taken alot of drugs. That doesn't explain it entirely, because I've always felt the same ever since I was a kid.
My psychiatrist says that I need to want to be well, but I don't, and I can't if that means I'm going to be happy living a 'normal' life in ignorant bliss in this insane world. It's not all doom and gloom folks, because the way I see it is that the world I live in is better than that. I love the world (as I see it) and I love who I am, so I can't change! Thing is, this doesn't seem to help me get on with other people who don't share the same vision.
It's not all sweetness and light either because I have many views which many people will find controversial. And this is why I find it hard to relate to people. eg. Physical death is good and natural. Why do people fear it and try to prevent it?, Men and women have specific and different roles in a healthy society. Millions of years of evolution have made us that way and to try to change that in a few generations is tearing our society apart. Children have no rights to make decisions in their lives. Adults have a duty to guide and protect children. To give children freedom is to abuse them. Democracy is an evil. The rule of the hedonistic, selfish and ignorant masses will cause decadence and self-destruction.
That's a brief summary of where I'm at. Doubtless that I am confused about many things, which is why my life is a mess. I want to learn to live harmoniously with others, but I can't work it out by myself.
Why on earth would anyone want to respond to this? I just read it through and it seems like it's pretty fucked up. Who knows? There may be someone out there who has thoughts on any of these topics, and who can enlighten me? I'm not shy about anything, totally honest and open to any suggestions.