Fag hags?

[FLAM]

WTF is a fag hag? Was reading some, ehm..literature, and came across this term.

[Strangeness]

I pretty sure ita a girl who is friends with the gay guy and is there for emotional support and what not. correct me if Im wrong.

[*Andy*]

Ugh..I really dont like that. Girls seem to think that just because a guy is gay that he's a great person. Oh and by the way Strangeness - nice new clothes (or did you deliberately spell it cloths?). You look very smart indeed.

[Allonym]

fag hag - femme with mostly gay male friends

[Samhain]

a woman that is only friends with gay people
S

[l-foote]

my best friend is pretty much a fag hag. 4 or 5 of her real close friends are gay... both male and female though...

[Salem Blair]

ahh the fag hags.. i have a few hag friends

[FLAM]

ooh...okay, yeah I've seen these people.

[Samhain]

its not about having gay friends or a lot of them its about women that go out of their way JUST to have gay friends
S

[drumminmama]

and what a hateful term: mean to gay men and women.
I had a large group of gay male friends out of high school, basically because my roomie was gay and we somehow became hang out central.

[Isil]

its not about having gay friends or a lot of them its about women that go out of their way JUST to have gay friends
S
Yeah...

Meh. I noticed some distinct, yet rather subtle (o.O), changes in many of my womynly (most of my friends are girls, anyway >.>) acquaintences attitudes towards me when they realised (or I told them) that im gay. Its quite annoying.

[ninabruja]

i've been called a fag hag before because most of my close friends are gay. i find it quite silly.

[Gattaca]

A fag hag is a woman who will use a gay man for sex-obligation free intimacy, sex-obligation free cuddling, and for emotional support. They also say they like the friendships because they are not "pressured for sex", but I think this is more male-villianizing, because I don't remember pressuring my female friends for sex.

To many women, a gay man is nothing but a cuddle-bitch.

Hey Nina are you from the Ithaca area? You look like a friend of mine.

[SageDreamer]

There are good fag hags and there are bad fag hags.

The good fag hags have gay male friends and are generally supportive. They also have friends who are not gay men.

The bad fag hags assume that every gay man will go shopping them and tend to go way overboard on the drama.

[SelfControl]

and what a hateful term: mean to gay men and women.

Personally, that's why I like it. I wouldn't ever use "faghag" to describe someone I didn't have at least semi-total contempt for. There's girls who have gay friends, and then there's fag-hags. I guess if you had to narrow it down to one thing, the difference between the two is desperation.

[bkcmar]

i think it is a negative term, even when used by gay people. why must we describe our female friends as a "hag"? why not just describe her as a friend.

[SelfControl]

Because we secretly hate her?

[mushie18]

Because we secretly hate her?

:)

[SelfControl]

I assumed it started out abusive and chicks didn't realise it so they adopted it for themselves.

[Samhain]

I assumed it started out abusive and chicks didn't realise it so they adopted it for themselves.
Do you not have a very high opinon of women?

Most negative terms (like Queer, Witch, fag) are adopted by people, who know full well they are negative and often it turns its on its head and becomes a term of empowerment, I'm not sure it has with Fag Hag, but I have a hard time believeing that most people wouldn't realise it was abusive or had the capacity to be so
S

[LJDV]

I don't think "fag hag" is an offensive term, however I'm not a woman. BUT, personally, I think it's a playful term. It's not meant to be used to hurt anyone's feelings. My friends call themselves "fag hags" of their own accords.

Oh yeah, and everyone else has pretty much defined it already.

[SelfControl]

Do you not have a very high opinon of women?


Would it surprise you to learn that I don't?

I don't dislike women, so long as they aspire to being dudes.

[Samhain]

Would it surprise you to learn that I don't?

I don't dislike women, so long as they aspire to being dudes.
it doesn't sound like you have a high opinon of women no
S

[SelfControl]

Nah, I'm the stereotypical woman-hating gay. RESPECT MY LIFESTYLE ;)

[TARABELLE]

Hey, I think that can go either way. If it is between friends, probably not a problem. But I'm sure it can be used with malice as well.

[BodyElectric]

I prefer the term Fruit Fly.

[Smokin4Peace]

Yes, Fag Hag is offensive BECAUSE of the stereotypical people that are "labeled" fag hag. Most girls in my circle prefer "Honey Bee" :D

[bkcmar]

Yes, Fag Hag is offensive BECAUSE of the stereotypical people that are "labeled" fag hag. Most girls in my circle prefer "Honey Bee" :DYes, because women who do not meet the advertisers and media image of beauty are usually the ones who are called "fag hags" if they have gay male friends. The perception is "they cannot get a real man" so they seek out relationships with gay men. As I say in my previous post call her your friend or girlfriend.

I do not exactly agree with the concept of a group taking a word with negative connations and somehow by that group using it empowers the group. The usage of words such as fag, dyke, queer, fag hag by gay people does bother me. These were terms used negatively and they do have an ugly sting to them.

[SelfControl]

I don't know that it normally implies ugliness. Usually it relates more to do with being emotionally pathetic and unable to relate to the opposite sex. The girl hangs out with the gay guy because he's kind of a man but not really, and depending on the type of gay guy he hangs out with her either because he hasn't got any gay friends yet or because she's useful to have around (fag hags are never doing anything, always want to go out, and will turn up without fail, whether you want them to or not).

Lol social commentary.

[SunStoned72]

I prefer the term Fruit Fly.
hehehe.

[bkcmar]

I do not mean to imply that all womyn who are called fag hags are physical unattractive. That is a horrible generalization, that I made. I wish to apologize for that comment. Yes, there are straight womyn who want to party. But, being a bit older than you are, the term was used in a sort of negative context, in descriptions of any womyn who enjoyed the company of gay men.

[SunStoned72]

Like in Will and Grace, Grace was a fag hag, but she was hot right?

[SelfControl]

Uh, not really. But not hideous enough for it to be her only excuse for being single and hanging out with gay guys.

I'm just on fire tonight, baby.

[Isil]

Uh, not really. But not hideous enough for it to be her only excuse for being single and hanging out with gay guys.

I'm just on fire tonight, baby.
Hehehe.

[SageDreamer]

Yes, Fag Hag is offensive BECAUSE of the stereotypical people that are "labeled" fag hag. Most girls in my circle prefer "Honey Bee" :D
As I see it, the problem is that we don't have so many other words for women who do get tagged as fag hags. I had never heard "honey bee" before this post. I think the word has been used in both good ways and bad ways, and it's a shame we're not hearing more from the ladies involved. If a woman tells me that the word bothers her, I won't use it.

[TARABELLE]

I don't know that it normally implies ugliness. Usually it relates more to do with being emotionally pathetic and unable to relate to the opposite sex. The girl hangs out with the gay guy because he's kind of a man but not really, and depending on the type of gay guy he hangs out with her either because he hasn't got any gay friends yet or because she's useful to have around (fag hags are never doing anything, always want to go out, and will turn up without fail, whether you want them to or not).

Lol social commentary.It seems like you don't believe that a straight woman would have gay male friends because she likes them for who they are as people.

[Samhain]

It seems like you don't believe that a straight woman would have gay male friends because she likes them for who they are as people.
I am unsure wether he is being offensive just for the sake of it, however it is offensive towards gay men and towards women.
most of my friends are female they are not fag hags, because I am far more than my sexuality
S

[SelfControl]

It seems like you don't believe that a straight woman would have gay male friends because she likes them for who they are as people.

I was just defining the term "fag hag", dude. If it doesn't apply to your friends they're not fag hags, like you said. I don't particularly consider fag hag a nice term, and not just because of how it sounds. What it has come to mean is pretty derogatory. The reason is pretty much what you've stated. It's not that women can't be friends with gay men for who they are. As far as I was aware though, the term "fag hag" relates to women who have mostly gay friends, to the extent where you kinda wonder if she's just collecting them.