first poem turned in for poetry class

[teh-horace]

assignment based on Larry Levis' "The Poet at Seventeen"

i'm not really particular about this one though



the bees, the wasps,
birds in crab pots.
blue birds, blue jays
to be exact, or to
try to be. the bee
that stung twice
along with the wasp that
stung just once. in
the eye. not so much
in the eye as on the
eyelid. crying and
feeling like frankenstein,
the only time tobacco
seemed in any way
a godsend, a strange
human aid. then it was
a chase, like cops in
action, high pursuit
and then like a baseball
player jump-catching
a near home run:
smack, right into
the octagonal patterned
cage. but i was there,
with both eyes this
time, and at that moment
as a child, i became god.
a Sistine moment, reaching
out, touching and freeing
that blue orb of feathers.
and just a few years later
the very same thing
occurs. a second chance
to play god. and the
vengeful bee. the bee
that stung twice. the
dutiful worker committing
hari kari, but getting
the extra KO in before
the light. at the mercy and
of the mercy; alive in
youth, very alive today.

-rdw 1/28/07

[MoonjavaSeed]

:D I dig that as much as I dig the sig pic, if not more. :D

And you know how I feel about the sig pic.:D

[teh-horace]

but i feel "eh" about it

[Justagrrl420]

i like it..i like the imagery..and the way it flows..hope ur teacher likes it as much as i did :)

[teh-horace]

i was kinda try to make it jump around a bit

but i think i overdid it

i'm no Larry Levis

[sun_heart_girl]

i think i overdid it
Maybe... but some bits I really like. That Sistine God bit, for example. Try and find your own style, else it'll either come out bad or good but just like somebody else's :)

[ConeyIslandOfTheMind]

Wow. :eek:

I think this marks a new era in the Richie-poet.

And. I. Love it. :D

sun_heart_girl's right, though. At times the flow is a bit off, but I must say that from "crying and feeling like frankenstein" to the end is AMAZING.

I love it. :D

[teh-horace]

Maybe... but some bits I really like. That Sistine God bit, for example. Try and find your own style, else it'll either come out bad or good but just like somebody else's :)see the thing is, i write either short and fat poems or long and skinny ones, since the poem was to be based around the idea from Levis' "A Poet at Seventeen" i was also trying to employ his style, trying being the key word. as my poetry teacher said "he just makes it look so easy," but i think it doesn't work well in my poem because of it's "long and skinny" format. i suppose i'll see what she has to say about it tomorrow

oh, and thanks krystin. i can feel a "new era" swirling about inside me, it's really exciting. i've decided i'm majoring in creative writing :D

[ConeyIslandOfTheMind]

And you've already got the bowler/beard for it, too. :D

Aww, that's so exciting. :D I've heard the Dub's English program isn't too shabby. That's where my English teacher got his degree (in English). :rolleyes: