Having a bi wife. Are you cool with it? (merged)

[topper]

In the beginning, I always encouraged f/f play, thinking I could be in the middle. Typical male attitude.
Then I encouraged my wife to experiment because I thought she would enjoy it.
I always noticed she scrutinized the photos in my old porno mags, over the years and has surfed my porn site history, when I wasn't around. When we made love and I had been giving her oral, I would go up on her and try to kiss her. Early on, she resisted, then she gave in and allowed me to share the wonderful flavor and wettness of her pussy. Then she used to kiss me and savor her wettness on my face, even tasting her fingers after being deep in her.
I still had the fantasy of being in a FFM threesome, but there was no room for a man in her new adventure with another woman who felt the same way.
I am happy to allow her the pleasure of sharing herself and enjoying her special friend, without my interference.
As it was for me, her bi adventure is also a convenient one. There are no deep involvements, just sexual pleasures. After they enjoy themselves in the exercise room they either relax in the hot tub or shower together, then her friend goes home to her husband and family.
There is big difference in her general attitude. She seems so much more laid back, relaxed and looks at things with a new positive outlook.
Life is too short to waste it being miserable.
I am happy to see her as happy as she is.

[mynameiskc]

bi-curiosity is or isn't in a person. but you can definitely be happy for breaking down any barriers or fears she had for the whole thing. well done.

[Piney]

Welcome back

[topper]

Most guys would love to see their lady with another woman and hopefully be in the middle of the scene. Truth be, they really don't want or need a man interfereing in their moments together.
Would you be cool with letting your lady enjoy herself with another woman, without your involvement? I'm glad that my wife has discovered the pleasures of another woman. Since she has, she has a new aura about her. Almost like she just got back from a nice vacation.
How many women would like to enjoy this kind of open relationship and still maintain your marraige? I would rather see my wife enjoying and sharing with another woman, then going through life denying herself of the joy.

[erzebet1961]

Been there.....but...not much into being watched...

[topper]

I didn't mean that I was to be a part of the picture. That is why I allow her to enjoy herself without my interference.
Her needs and desires were a lot more then being a sperm depository for me or even having me beating off while watching them. I realized her needs and desires went further then anything that I could offer her. I would make love to her, as a woman would, being tender , loving and caring and my cock out of the picture. She seemed to emerge and enjoy herself more when she didn't have to deal with a big dick poking at her. We built on that and that is why I continue to encourgage her bi play.
The one time I did somewhat participate, I felt like a third wheel anyway, inhibiting their time together.
My wife has certainly benefitted from the experiences. She has a better libido and looks at life with a more positive perspective.

[Samhain]

I know partners need to consult each other about sex and sexuality, but to be honest I find the word 'allow' distastful, she's your wife not your child or a pet
S

[topper]

Wtf

[Samhain]

Wtf
I'm stating an opinon about something you have written
S

[Samhain]

I'll try and explain myself a bit more.
I'm in an open relationship and we discuss openly whats good for our relationship and what could harm it.
I don't think adults in a relationship can 'allow' each other if they want the relationship to be equal.
a boss 'allows' his or her worker to take an extra day off a mother allows their child to have a bag of candy.
yes its semantics, however unless we put thought into the words we use I doubt thought goes into relationship dynamics ethier.
if you are recently exploring an open relationship, think about this, because unless its clear and discussed, your going to encounter all sorts of issues
S

[ihmurria]

I think this is more about an open relationship than the fact that your wife is bi

But that's just my take on it.
Personally, not my thing. I've tried being in a poly relationship before, and it wasn't a horrible experience but it's not something I'd pursue (unless of course it's me trying to run away from the person I'm dating, which I did once and then realized that it was really me just expressing that I didn't want to date him, and ended it before anything poly/open-like happened)

[seamonster66]

I agree with Samhain, your wording is very telling

10 bucks says your wife leaves you for a woman

[Mrs.H]

I think everyone is being a little harsh here. I think he means he allows it to happen. Yeah, it is her choice to decide to do it, but he ALLOWS it meaning he is ok with it. If he did not ALLOW it it would mean he was ending the relationship with her, not that he is not permitting her to do it. That's what a relationship is. By saying he allows her to experiment, it means he accepts that she wants to experiment and is ok being in a relationship where that happens.

Give the guy a break.

;)

[L.A.Matthews]

Give the guy a break.

I agree. You're talking to this guy far too harshly and not helping him with the advice he's asking for.

He's asking for your guys opinions on the scenario, not your opinions on his wording for the situation.

It just seems slightly confrontational and trivial to the matter.

[seamonster66]

I wonder if he abuses his wife, it kind of sounds like it

[Mrs.H]

Wow, someone is going to have to fill me in here. Why the hostility?

It's pretty thick here.

[Samhain]

Wow, someone is going to have to fill me in here. Why the hostility?

It's pretty thick here.
there is no evidence at all in this thread that he abuses is wife
in another thread he stated that he was responsible for his wifes bisexuality, which is just not true, one person can't make another person bi and in this one he 'allows' his wife, I think this is very disrespectful, however I have outlined my views above
S

[seamonster66]

yes, i was joking about the abuse part just to annoy people

I have also outlined my views

[Samhain]

yes, i was joking about the abuse part just to annoy people

I have also outlined my views
so just to repeat that was a joke.

I feel that I have been respectful with my points of view and would have said the same thing to a friend round my house
S

[Mrs.H]

there is no evidence at all in this thread that he abuses is wife
in another thread he stated that he was responsible for his wifes bisexuality, which is just not true, one person can't make another person bi and in this one he 'allows' his wife, I think this is very disrespectful, however I have outlined my views above
S
I understand what you are saying, and it makes total sense to me.

However...

Perhaps you are failing to realize that not everyone has the same life experiences that you do, and therefore may not realize the things you have come to realize through your experiences. Don't you think a little compassion is in order here? Help him to see this, don't beat him over the head and call him an idiot.

Not everyone sees things the way you or I do. And I am not attacking you, because you are my friend. I just felt that everyone is attacking the guy instead of constructively trying to help him out.

Do you see what I am saying?

Some of the comments in this thread are completely uncalled for.

That being said, I still love you guys to death, so don't take my words to mean I think you are bad people.

[Mrs.H]

so just to repeat that was a joke.

I feel that I have been respectful with my points of view and would have said the same thing to a friend round my house
S
It's all good guys. Thanks!

;)

[Samhain]

It's all good guys. Thanks!

;)
Mrs H point out where you feel I have been disrespectful and i'll explain myself (Can't speak for anyone else) I did think my original comment might have been a bit hard hitting so I then went on to explain myself.
however if I think a comment is disrespectful then I tend to state whats on my mind
S

[Mrs.H]

Mrs H point out where you feel I have been disrespectful and i'll explain myself (Can't speak for anyone else) I did think my original comment might have been a bit hard hitting so I then went on to explain myself.
however if I think a comment is disrespectful then I tend to state whats on my mind
S
It just seemed like the whole mood of this post was angry. I didn;t find the original poster's comments to be disrespectful. I don;t feel he was disrespectful, he just sees things from a different perspective.

I understand why you said what you said, it just seemed harsh at first. You did explain yourself though. No problems, Samhain. Let's talk about that hotel room thing and let this one go, ok?

;)

[Samhain]

It just seemed like the whole mood of this post was angry. I didn;t find the original poster's comments to be disrespectful. I don;t feel he was disrespectful, he just sees things from a different perspective.

I understand why you said what you said, it just seemed harsh at first. You did explain yourself though. No problems, Samhain. Let's talk about that hotel room thing and let this one go, ok?

;)
anytime you think i'm harsh you can pull me up on it, in fact I would like you too, people should be able to back up what they have said, so when I asked for examples, it was because of that, not because i'm at all defensive with you, because I'm not
S

[Mrs.H]

Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah.

let me take a wee first.

[Samhain]

Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah.

let me take a wee first.
go to sacred spiral if you want to spam, little britain!
S

[Mrs.H]

Just trying to lighten things up again.

;)

I thought that might make you smile. I will now return this thread to it's original intent.

[LuckyStripe]

Most guys would love to see their lady with another woman and hopefully be in the middle of the scene. Truth be, they really don't want or need a man interfereing in their moments together.
Would you be cool with letting your lady enjoy herself with another woman, without your involvement? I'm glad that my wife has discovered the pleasures of another woman. Since she has, she has a new aura about her. Almost like she just got back from a nice vacation.
How many women would like to enjoy this kind of open relationship and still maintain your marraige? I would rather see my wife enjoying and sharing with another woman, then going through life denying herself of the joy.

Guys tend to say its okay until it really happens and they realize its not all about what they imagined/wanted...(three somes, watching, a fantasy)- that most likely they wont even be involved and oh... an emotional attraction can occur and the women could want that person more then them.

they want the idea/fantasy, say its fine... but when it comes down to it... they dont want it when they realize the reality.

[Samhain]

Guys tend to say its okay until it really happens and they realize its not all about what they imagined/wanted...(three somes, watching, a fantasy)- that most likely they wont even be involved and oh... an emotional attraction can occur and the women could want that person more then them.

they want the idea/fantasy, say its fine... but when it comes down to it... they dont want it when they realize the reality.
hmmmmmm I've just read it again and saw the 'most guys' bit again I have to disagree, the people I know that are in a monogamous relationships would hate their partner to go with someone else would that be male or female.
I think (similar to what lucky says) theres a huge difference between a few blokes tittering about watching two women and a mans wife actually having sex with another woman.
I have no problem with open relationships, I am in one myself, but it does have to be thought through a bit more than 'oh gosh i get to see my sife with another woman' because the fantasy can prove a lot different in reality like lucky says
S

[LuckyStripe]

Glad you got me. If a guy thinks its "just sex" and "hot" they often dont realize the emotional connection that can be involved and its not "hot" FOR THEM. haha.

[Samhain]

Glad you got me. If a guy thinks its "just sex" and "hot" they often dont realize the emotional connection that can be involved and its not "hot" FOR THEM. haha.
yeah like women could never have an emotional fulfilling gay relationship, the only reason for them to have sex is to titilate men :toetap:

[LuckyStripe]

Yep.

[Samhain]

Yep.
I know you got the irony there, but I'll just point it out for people who don't know me
S

[erzebet1961]

I am so glad someone finally mentioned the 3 some reality....because I get so tired of hearing...can I watch...like THAT would really put me in the mood !!!!!

[Samhain]

I am so glad someone finally mentioned the 3 some reality....because I get so tired of hearing...can I watch...like THAT would really put me in the mood !!!!!
Can I watch?
S

[erzebet1961]

Hahaha.....Yes Sam.....YOU can watch...because you wouldnt want to jump in the middle of things ...or be doing something distracting at the foot of the bed !!!

[Samhain]

Hahaha.....Yes Sam.....YOU can watch...because you wouldnt want to jump in the middle of things ...or be doing something distracting at the foot of the bed !!!
I might pick my feet, would that be distracting!!!!!!!!
S

[mynameiskc]

lol. sheesh. anyway, dave is totally okay with me pursuing a sexual relationship with another woman. he'd be okay with me persuing a sexual fling with another man, as well. our only rule is about not allowing things to move past sexual friendship. to do so would destabilize our home, and the home comes first. neither of us are particularly the jealous sort. we're just not. we know where we are emotionally. it's about a constant interaction and communication with one another. should either of us feel threatened, we're able to say to each other "okay, something's not right here." and that's that.

[Samhain]

lol. sheesh. anyway, dave is totally okay with me pursuing a sexual relationship with another woman. he'd be okay with me persuing a sexual fling with another man, as well. our only rule is about not allowing things to move past sexual friendship. to do so would destabilize our home, and the home comes first. neither of us are particularly the jealous sort. we're just not. we know where we are emotionally. it's about a constant interaction and communication with one another. should either of us feel threatened, we're able to say to each other "okay, something's not right here." and that's that.
has it ever got to the point that you have caught off the sexual fling quickly because you have felt an emotional attachment starting?
S

[sweetbabyjames]

dave is totally okay with me pursuing a sexual relationship with another woman. he'd be okay with me persuing a sexual fling with another man, as well. our only rule is about not allowing things to move past sexual friendship. to do so would destabilize our home, and the home comes first. neither of us are particularly the jealous sort. we're just not.
My first wife and I had a similar relationship...more so her than I. She had a spiecal gf whom she enjoied spending time with alone; however I was "invited" to join in on a few occasions. I too had a female friend whom I enjoied sexually a few times. However it became aparent that it was the 3-some she enjoied the most. And begain to pursue mostly other women and even another man on 2 occasions to join in on the sexual bon fire that had been built.
Ultimately it caused the death of our relationship...it destabilized our home and we became desensitized to each others true needs and our feelings for one another.
So it isn't for everyone. In my relationship with my third and current spouse each of us has friend's of the other sex and there is no jealousy; but niether of us has a sexual relationship with them. Has worked out 100% better.

[topper]

My wife and I are both having our later in life bi experiences and enjoying them. Not only with our respective bi partner, but with each other too.
I will make love to her, without my cock getting involved. Basicly, I just give her oral and finger play. It's very sensual and she enjoys playing like this. In the same respect, she enjoys putting on the strapon so I can show her what it's like on my side of this spectrum. She was impressed at my bj skills and ability to deep throat her strapon.
Do any other bi married couples play like this? Any good stories?

[*Andy*]

Why would you deep throat a strap on? I don't think it can feel it.

[SelfControl]

To impress with the skills, dude.

You gotta respect the skills.

[Smokin4Peace]

Wow, kudos to your for monogamy. My life partner and I are both bisexual as well, even though we are in an opposite sex relationship. We will always allow the other to experiment safely and honestly although.
~peace

[paintitblack]

I will make love to her, without my cock getting involved. Basicly, I just give her oral and finger play. It's very sensual and she enjoys playing like this. In the same respect, she enjoys putting on the strapon so I can show her what it's like on my side of this spectrum. She was impressed at my bj skills and ability to deep throat her strapon.
Do any other bi married couples play like this? Any good stories?

that sounds interesting :) pretty cool! seems that you have great relationship.

[topper]

My wife knows that I usually get a bj when I see my friend and she asked me as soon as I walked in the door. I wasn't afraid to tell her the truth, she is bi herself and it's not a problem. She is just curious and wants to know all of the details. Not just "did he suck your cock", she wanted to know if he sucks it, licks it, licks my balls or ass, then all about when I cum.
She also knows that I have engaged in mutal pleasures with him and asked me if I gave him a bj in return. Again, she wanted to know all of the detail about what I did. When I asked her why she is so curious when she hates doing it herself, she says it's exciting as long as she isn't doing it and she likes hearing about it.
When I try to pry everything about her bi playtimes, she is very vague and flys past the good parts.
I wouldn't think that telling her all of the details would be exciting to her.

[MattInVegas]

Do you gave a specific question? Or what exactly do you want to know?
Women don't know what it takes to suck cock, anymore than Men know what part of a vagina to pay attention to. (Clit and or G-Spot if you know where it is) Only a man can suck dick properly! And only a woman can lick pussy, the way THEY want it.
But then there IS a certain intimacy in sharing with your partner. I think what your GF is looking for from YOU, is: "Communication". She wants to know what YOU want/Like.
Good Luck with this!

[topper]

I was just putting my story out there to see if any other bi couples who share intimate details about their partners and their sex play.
She knows what I like and what I want. She just gets off on hearing all of the juicy details.

[dealsdone]

My wife has always asked for the intimate details of my encounters with Boyfriends and does take some vicarious pleasure from it. It is as matt proposes a communication issue. we are certainly closer as a result