This question may be too weird for a lesbian forum....but...

[MysteriousNight]

I'm just curious and interested.

Okay, so has anyone ever had sex with a man? I never have and don't really have a desire to. I don't know why I am asking this, it might just bite me in the foot, but I have wondered before what it would be like, but then I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything, it seems kind of gross to me. I've had straight female friends tell me that how do I know if I don't try it, etc. Well, I mean, I just know....does anyone else feel that way? I don't feel like I need to have sex with a man to find out if I am really a lesbian or not. I just know that I am attracted to women sexually, emotionally and on pretty much every other level. Just like a straight woman doesn't need to have sex with a woman to find out if she is really straight or not, right? Or are things more complicated than that? It's just odd for me because ever since probably middle school I've known there was something different about me as far as being attracted to the opposite sex. I can remember my friends having crushes on all these male celebrities and how I found nothing attractive about them at all, everytime I had a boyfriend he just got on my nerves - things just didn't feel right and I can remember having these crushes on two girls in high school, which at the time, I didn't think of it that way, but that's what it was. Anyway, I DO NOT believe that having sex with a man makes you any less of a lesbian or something stupid like that, b/c I know some who think that way, I do not. So, I'm not asking this to point fingers, condemn anyone, or be offensive. I'm just trying to openly and respectfully ask a question b/c someone could just as easily read what I wrote and say "Well you're awful stupid, go have sex with a man so you'll know!" or something like that. Anyway.....thoughts.....comments???

[AndyTampa]

Well you're awful stupid, go have sex with a man so you'll know!

I'm just kidding. What does your heart tell you? You don't have to do what other people tell you to do so that you can find out how you feel. If you're attracted to women, why question it? It's really none of anyone's business.

If you really do want to try a man, I think I can rearrange my schedule. :jester:

[erzebet1961]

Yes.....Im Gay , and have been with a man , and it just doesnt do anything for me , Its like going through the mechanics of the sex act without the feeling or emotions.....and its boring.

[Mr. Mojo Risin']

Erz, aren't you married? http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/eek.gif

[erzebet1961]

Sorry for the deletes......but , c'mon guys........we love ya.....but this place is for the ladies ONLY .......

[Rainbow Starlite]

I have, several of them in fact. I don't think it makes me less a lesbian either, any more than eating something with cheese on it once out of desperate starvation makes me less a Vegan. Sleeping with men never did anything much for me, and I am 100% more attracted to my girlfriend than I ever was to any man. I think it's a personal choice whether you want to 'try' it or not! I did it before I really admitted to myself, let alone anyone else, that I was gay.

[lutsko67]

I did. W/1 man only. In fact, it was in 1991 and I was afraid 2 be outted. You may not be old enough to know about all this or remember hearing about this, but let me give you a history lesson. I n 1982 a yng man. (a lil boy age 12 actually) named Ryan White was diagnosed w/AIDS and later died. He had gotten AIDS thru a blood transfusion. Many famous ppl. also were diagnosed and soon died from AIDS. No 1 at that time knew exactly how AIDS was spread, but 1 thing they were calling it was....GAY/Lez DISEASE, because so many gay men esp. were dying of it. At that time, if you had it you could not go to work, if you were a kid who got it, no 1 wanted you in school. Parents literally were boycotting schools. Scaring me and a lot of my friends. God 4 bid the poor kid who had contracted AIDS who even tried 2 go to school like a healthy kid. In fact being Gay/Lez at that time made you a outcast. In 1982, I was 15 and knew I was a lez. but, I was petrified of coming out. I was very careful, more like sneaky when ever I slept w/a girl. No 1 knew about me. Even my closest and dearest str8 friends still can t believe it, they had no idea. Now, to answer your question, That in 1991, I met and married the only man I have ever had slept with. I tried 2 make it work by pretending to be something I was not. In my personal opinion, having sex w/a man is like having sex w/a vibrater which is awesome by the way. the vibrater not the man. except ...........men make a fuckin mess all over you, they ask you if it was good 4 you, after 3 mins of HIT< SPIT< its Quitting time 4 them, now here you lay wondering WTF?, They proceed to roll over and go 2 sleep. If, you were lucky, as I def. was you had your vibrater handy and had some of the best orgasms of your life!!! hehehehe
By the way, I am a smartass, but I speak the truth I dont lie and I dont sugar coat a damn thing!! You ask and I shall answer.
peace n good vibes 2 u.

[erzebet1961]

Wow......thank god im not the only one who has been there and felt like that...thank you so much Lutsko67 !!!!!

[lutsko67]

you r so welcome !!
I speak it as I see and feel it!!
No Bs. here,
Life is 2 damn short!!

[Inky_Puff]

One of the crowds i hung out with at school, actually it woulda been the crowd i was most tight with, were all lesbians. I was living in a small town where because i had gay friends i HAD to be a lesbian also, I didnt know it at the time but i was. But to prove the town wrong and everyone that was talking about me, i slept with quite a few guys, i just wanted to prove everyone wrong so i pushed my real feelings aside and denied my sexuality, i had my first girlfriend at 18 which lasted 4 years, but i didnt come out until i was 23 and moved here to Adelaide. I was too scared of everyone saying i told you so. I am now with the love of my life, have been for 2 and a bit years, i really regret sleeping with guys just to prove a point though, especially as there is at least one of them that was a mate that i knew i led on and played with his emotions whilst tyring to "be straight".

[evil lesbian]

i felt like i had to be with a man to know for sure that i was gay bc that was always my mothers argument to me i hated it it was invasive and boring with men it always feels like it is all about them but then i am tired and cranky and biased right now

[mystik_lilac]

Yes.....Im Gay , and have been with a man , and it just doesnt do anything for me , Its like going through the mechanics of the sex act without the feeling or emotions.....and its boring.
http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/newsmilies/iagree.gif

Thats exactly how I feel about it. I was married for 4 years and with that man for 8. "...without the feeling or emotions...and its boring" 'Nuff Said.

[LilianaRose]

Ick, yes, I've been with a guy. It was when I began to question my sexuality and knew that I was attracted to girls. I had a similar situation to Inky_Puff where I hung out with mostly lesbians and I hadn't admitted to myself yet that I was and denied it every chance I could. I slept with a guy I had known for a few years to fakely prove to myself and others that I was "straight" It was completely boring, passionless and I was extremely grossed out by the fact that there was a naked guy on top of me. I knew at that point that there could be no more lying to myself and I absolutely could not live my life as a straight person (like I planned to do) because I would be the most sexually frustrated person on earth haha.

[Little flower]

i havent yet, but i kindof want to, just to get it over and done with, just to try it, i dont know why, its not pressure from people, does anyone else understand this? i dont know how else to explain it. im bi, but i only want to be with a woman at the moment. bah maybe im just alittle insane.

blessings
xxx

[l-foote]

i've been with a man (actually, this weekend for the first time).
i knew i was a bisexual at the very least before we boned. i was just curious. and eh, didn't do much for me. i perfer the ladies, as i knew i would. and i had sex with a chick for the first time two nights before i had sex with a guy.
ladies > guys.

though really, it depends on the guy.

[Lilah_Morgan]

I've been with several men.....only one I remember as being any good. I'd get SOME pleasure from it, sometimes, but usually it was just downright boring for me. Like someone above ^ said, it was like going through the mechanics of sex, without any of the actual exitment. It used to make me feel like there was something wrong with me actually, till the first time I had sex with a woman...lol

[sun_heart_girl]

I haven't, but... even the idea gives me shivers. I don't think it would even be just boring, more kind of... repulsive. I don't know if this makes sense, but people on these forums seem to understand most things anyway, so... :D

[NurseHendrixFlyHigh]

I never been with a man and have no desire to. I love women, I lust for womene, and I fantasize ONLY about women. Holly hell, I'm gay! lol.

[Cat_80]

I have had sex with a man too, my first "boyfriend" actually. But I didn't feel anything, it was hurting (I know that's likely to happen when you do it for first time but still...) and I was glad when it was over... I never ever wanted to do it again!
I totally agree with erzebet1961, too!

[Wynter0226]

If you want to try it with a man then go for it. There should be no reason for you to hold yourself back. It should not make you feel like you're less of a lesbian or anything like that. Explore your curiousity. Chances are you'll find out that it's not for you.

I have had sex with a guy and it was awful. I spent 7 years in a relationship with a guy just because I was scared to come out. But the first time I ever had sex was with a girl. I have only ever been attracted to females, and when I would have sex with my boyfriend I would have to close my eyes and imagine it was a woman just to get off. I always knew I was gay but it took me a long time to come out. With that said I have nothing against men. I really did love my boyfriend very much, it was just that physical attraction was not there. I HATED sex with guys. Being with a woman is just right. I just know.

wow, sorry, I think I lost track of my point. Anyway I hoped that helped in some way.

[lovelorned]

wow, im a virgin! Go me!

[SugarSugar]

Okay, I've known i liked girls since i was three. I THOUGHT i liked guys a little up until this year. I hated having sex with a guy it seemed wrong. Thats kinda how i fugured out i dont like guys at all. but i was confused and all

[nakedtreehugger]

i had a 2 year relationship with a man after having been out as a lesbian for 10 years. i was actually attracted to him and felt a lot of emotions for him, but the sex part of it was pretty gross if i let myself really think about what i was doing... so for the most part i kept my eyes closed and my mind in another place. i really wanted to be with him though, so i carried on that way for a couple of years. when i finally came to my senses and ended it, we became super good friends, and the relationship we had was like this weird thing that doesn't really count anymore. but yeah. never again.

i don't regret it, now i know for absolute 100% sure that i just don't like men. and penis is really gross.

[dont.ask.dont.tell...BS]

Yeah.. i've had sex with a man. its what made me realize i was gay, mainly because it was not fun for me. i had boyfriends all through high school, but lost my virginity to Ryan* during my senior year. but all thode years i also had a semi relationship with a girl. when the deed was finally done, thats what it felt like. A deed or something i owed him. "i guess i'll have sex with you because you are my boyfriend and i feel i owe to you for being patient", but i honestly hated it. i broke up with him just a week after, because to me, it was pretty disgusting. once i finally came out and admitted to myself that i am gay, things changed. i finally felt right. I felt comfortable. and once i had sex with a woman, i knew that what i had done with Ryan was a mistake, but i learned from it. i had found the real pleasure ;)