Okay...what the heck does this mean?

[ArmOutsideIn]

So, about a month ago, me and my best friend start sleeping together. This was the first time she'd ever done anything with a girl. The thing is...she doesn't believe she is gay. Or even bi. She is convinced she is totally straight...and I don't know how to respond to that. She used to say, way before our whole thing, that she would kill hersef if she was gay, so I know that accepting herself will be a struggle. But I just don't know what I can do to help...it hurts when she sits there and talks about how she's completely straight. I don't know what to say to that. It just hurts. SO yea. I don't know, that's my current issue, heh.

[erzebet1961]

Ok...this is easy.....its not your issue , its hers , she just finds it easier to deal with whats happening once its over and you guys arent in bed anymore , by pretending its not happening. Shes telling Herself shes not gay to make herself feel ok about whats going on in secret , its a form of denial because she doesnt want the label of being Gay. Its not about you...its about her not being able to handle being called Gay.

[mynameiskc]

yeah, don't let yourself feel hurt over some mental machinations she's cranking through. it's a huge paradigm shift for her. and this relationship might end up not working out because she can't quite get a grip on what she wants or needs. be patient with her, be loving, caring and understanding. above all else, don't let her attempts to get a grip on this new concept hurt you. good luck and hugs to you.

[mrpwonder]

Let her deal with it. I was with a guy when I was about your age. He said the same. But we had sexy for several months and he still claimed he was not gay. After about a year he realixed he was and finally came to me and we had a long discussion about his denial.

[Rainbow Starlite]

She may have very deep issues with it because of an unaccepting family or religion, so it may just be very hard for her to accept.