Hippie Jokes

[Shithead_n_dozer]

hopefully ill be able to piss some one off....



just kidding guys




what you got? i love to hear new hippie jokes

ill lay one down



whats more dumb than a box of rocks??


















the hippie that carries it accross the country

[Smokinjoe]

dumb but who cares How do ya get a one armed hippy outta of a tree?




Pass him the joint...


HAHAHAHAHHSAHAHAAHAHAHHAAH im so funny

[wootier]

"whered all the fucking weed go, man?"

"dude what kind of stupid fucking question is that"

we need someone who knows jokes, cus im not funny, especially wen im making up shit myself

[newo]

I've posted these before, but let's revive them!

How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

Why are hippies like bears? They both hug, eat honey and shit in the woods.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.

Why do so many hippies live in Eugene, Oregon? There's no work there.

Why did the hippie cross the road? Who else would follow a chicken around?

Where can you hide money from a hippie? Under a bar of soap.

[wootier]

why did the hippy cross the road

he "thought" he saw something

[wootier]

"dude, u stink, dont u shower?"

"showers waste water, man, think outside the box"

[hippiestead]

why'd the hippie cross the road?

cuz someone told him not to...

[wootier]

why did the hippy jump off a cliff

he read a book that said truth lies over the edge

he also forgot the meaning of the word context

[earthmother]

How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
She's only got one sock.

What's the difference between a hippy and a rainbow?
A hippy will come to visit and hang around for a long time, a rainbow will come to visit, hang around a long time, but they'll wash your dishes.

[wootier]

i found this one on a website, i thought it was appropriate...

You Might Be A Hippie If ...

There's people you consider family and you don't know their last name.

i love u family, and i dont even know ure first names, nor have i ever met u

[Shithead_n_dozer]

whats the best thing about picking a hippie up?




droping them off

[WolverineOfWeed]

this is from a website:
Three hippies are sitting around smoking a joint. One says, "I am going to go take a bath."
He goes upstairs to the bathroom, fills up the bathtub, starts to get in the bathtub and then stops for a second and thinks to himself, "Hmmmmm, am I getting in or am I getting out?" So he sits there and thinks about it.
The second one says, "Well, he's been up there for awhile, I better go check on him." When he gets halfway upstairs he stops for a moment, and thinks to himself, "Am I going upstairs or am I going downstairs?" He stays there and thinks about it.
The third guy says, "I hope I never get blasted as much as those two, knock on wood!" So he knocks on the table and says, "Was that the front door or the back door?"

[WolverineOfWeed]

The Pot Paradox:
An empty bowl needs to be filled, a full bowl needs to be emptied

[King Robert]

Nark Nark
Who's there?
Igor and Hugo
Igor and Hugo who?
Igor in the front door
Hugo in the back
We got them pot smok'in hippies this time!

[tuesdaystar]

Kay here's my jokes the hip leos in hippies didn't like them so i just want to spread them around like love makes me want to misspell tu like sumwun told me not tu

y cudnt the costgard save the hippy?

cuz he wuz tu far out man

Y wuznt jezis born at a rainbow gathering?

cuz gawd cudnt find 3 wize men or a vergin

wut du yu git wen u put 32 Acampers round a campfire?

almost a full set uv teef

How many deadheads duz it take tu change a litebulb?

Dey dont chage it dey just watch it burn out den follow it round fer 30 years

Y do hippys wave ther arms wen dey dance?

tu keep dah music out uv der eyes

[i'm_not_beethoven420]

Jimmy Buffet passes on & goes to heaven.

God spends the day showing him around, at the end of the day he brings Jimmy to a small modest faded yellow one bedroom house with an unkept yard & a tattered parrot flag waveing in front.

God tells him that not many people in heaven get a house, but that this one was his. Jimmy looks the place over & then looks over god's shoulder up on a hill in the near distance.

Up upon the hill sits a beautiful huge marble mansion with shining pillers in front. There are beautiful barefoot girls with long hair & colorful dresses manicureing the flowers in the gardens. The hedges are all trimmed into danceing bears & guitars. The long walkway winding down the hill from the mansion is lined with tiedyed & steelyaface flags.

Jimmy buffet looked at the site & then remarks to god..... " Oh gee, all i get is this lousy little dump & jerry garcia gets that mansion up on the hill over there!?"

God replies..... " No my son, that isn't jerry garcia's house,...it's mine"

[soundstepper323]

Thats awesome man.

[CloudFlower]

Why are there no hippies on starship enterprise?
Because hippies do not have jobs in the future either..

[coyotesister]

i've posted this before....but why do they call it a roachclip?




cause potholder was already taken....heh heh heh!!!

[unionjack67]

wut du yu git wen u put 32 Acampers round a campfire?

almost a full set uv teef


ROFL.... It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true.


I love you man!!!!!

[Forget me not]

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.


^I liked this one!

What do you call a hippies wife?
Mississippi!

[CloudFlower]

^I liked this one!

What do you call a hippies wife?
Mississippi!
Yay I've never heard that one before :)

[the grobe]

Did you hear about the hippie ghost?
He was ghoul man, really ghoul.

[pallyn]

What do you call a hippy with a haircut?

The defendant.

(Sorry if it's painfully funny right now)

[rainbowfreedom]

the last one was the best.! much love

[rainbowfreedom]

o shit.. i meant i thought the best one was the one about not knowing the last names

[newo]

How can you tell if a hippie's been in your house?
He's still there.

How do you get him to leave?
Tell him the phone bill just came.

[coyotesister]

how can you tell if a rainbow has been at yer house?

they are still there......but the dishes are done. ; )

[Zajko]

Jimmy Buffet passes on & goes to heaven.

God spends the day showing him around, at the end of the day he brings Jimmy to a small modest faded yellow one bedroom house with an unkept yard & a tattered parrot flag waveing in front.

God tells him that not many people in heaven get a house, but that this one was his. Jimmy looks the place over & then looks over god's shoulder up on a hill in the near distance.

Up upon the hill sits a beautiful huge marble mansion with shining pillers in front. There are beautiful barefoot girls with long hair & colorful dresses manicureing the flowers in the gardens. The hedges are all trimmed into danceing bears & guitars. The long walkway winding down the hill from the mansion is lined with tiedyed & steelyaface flags.

Jimmy buffet looked at the site & then remarks to god..... " Oh gee, all i get is this lousy little dump & jerry garcia gets that mansion up on the hill over there!?"

God replies..... " No my son, that isn't jerry garcia's house,...it's mine"
A variant on this joke might have J.B. ask his guiding angel "Who lives up there?" with the angel replying "Oh, that's God, but I swear he thinks he's Jerry Garcia"

[wendylady]

These 3 are hilarious!!! ROFLMMAO..... hahahahahahahahaha

Blessings,
WendyLady


wut du yu git wen u put 32 Acampers round a campfire?

almost a full set uv teef

How many deadheads duz it take tu change a litebulb?

Dey dont chage it dey just watch it burn out den follow it round fer 30 years

Y do hippys wave ther arms wen dey dance?

tu keep dah music out uv der eyes[/QUOTE]

[coyotesister]

how can you tell when a rainbow sister is on her moon?

she's wearing only one sock!

eeeeeeeeWWWWW!!!

[Tok_UR]

sorta like the last one, made me think of some stupid times in the woods

Why do hippy's walk around barefoot?
They couldnt find toilet paper so they had to use their socks.

[newo]

What's red, orange and yellow and looks good on a hippie?
Fire.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?
Yours.

[jay]

How many hippies can fit in a vw bus?
One more and a dog

[Tok_UR]

knock...knock...

"It's the police"

"NOBODY ORDERED PIZZA, GO AWAY!"

[freeinalaska]

Q: How many deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 40,000. One to change the lightbulb, 499 to tape the event, 15,000 to dance and twirl in ecstasy, 5000 to sit and grumble that "they used to change 'em better in the old days", 5,000 to wander around outside with (mix and match) one finger in the air, calling out "doses", "da kine", "veggie burritos", "groovy dyes", "guats", "spare change", "gas/motel/food money", 4000 to wander around outside dancing at the cars with the tunes blasting from the tape decks, lining up at the balloon trucks, 100 scalpers selling fake bulbs, 400 state/local/federal officers looking for all the above...oh, yeah, and 10,000 to follow the old burned out one to the next town.

[freeinalaska]

This girl went to a Dead show with terrible tickets. She could barely even see the stage. Once the show began, she noticed an empty seat waaaaay in the front. She slowly made her way towards the stage, dodging ticket checkers left and right, and finally reached the empty seat. She was so close that Bobby could have spit on her. At the set break, she told the guy next to her that she couldn't believe that someone had given up such an incredible seat. The guy said, "Well, my wife and I had tickets to this show together, but she passed away." She said, "I'm so sorry. Couldn't you find someone else to come to the show with you, a friend or a relative or something?" The guy replied, "Nah. They're all at her funeral today."

[gobot]

^^Coyotesister that is really funny..

How many high holies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one they can hold the bulb and the whole world revolves around them.

[The manticore]

lol that grateful dead 1s funny

[phishinforcheese]

Why did the hippy cross the road?

cuz that guy over there looks like he has some spare change!

how many rainbows does it take to change a light bulb?

50 to say lets change it, another 50 to disagree with them, and just one to get off their ass and do it!

how can you tell of a hippy's been in your house?

he's still there, the dishes are done, and your daughters pregnant.

all these jokes brought to you by the :joke, toke or smoke roadblock: at your local gathering...

[phishinforcheese]

oh yea, i almost forgot the best one...

what has 35 tattoos, 28 piercings, and 6 teeth?

A-camp!

[newo]

Why couldn't the search party find the missing hippie?
He was outta sight, man!

Where does a hippie hang his posters?
Up against the wall! or Right on! the wall.

[Sunburst]

These are totally the best jokes I've ever seen in my life...

[JodyDnl]

Why is there not a hutting season on hippy's? They are hard to clean.

[newo]

A hippie walks into a barbershop, walks up to the barber and says, “Are you the guy who cut my hair last time?” and the barber says, “I doubt it. I’ve only been working here ten years!”

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to do it, and two to relate to the experience.

What's the difference between a hippie and a deadhead?
A hippie will give you the shirt off his back, and a deadhead will sell you somebody else's for $25, two for $40.

What does a deadhead say when he runs out of pot?
"This band sucks!"

How many potheads does it take to watch a campfire go out?
All of them.

[whtdrgn386]

How did the stoned hippy die. He got killed by the dragon he thought he saw.

But in all honesty peace and love to everyone. Its the only thing that can save this planet.

[FocalSlang]

aaight i gota couple for ya kids ... sorry they may be alittle offensive, theyre based on stereotypes, but as we all know a stereotype becomes such because there's a healthy dose of truth to it enjy


How do ya know a hippy was at your house?
Hes still there and the soap never got touched.

How do you know a hippy chick is on her period?
-She only got one sock on!
How do you she's off her period?
-One of her socks is red.

Whats the difference between a hippy girl and a hockey team?
The hockey team showers after three periods!

What's the difference between a hippy girl and a washing machine?
It don't take a quarter to drop a load in her.

What's the difference between a hippy girl and a washing machine?
The washing machine goes through different set a clothes at least once a week.

How do you stash a sheet of L in a squat house?
Put it under a bar of soap.

How do you know some hippies stayed at your hotel?
all the cocaine in a five block radius got sold and the kids are at the nearest gas station spare changing for gas an a 40

What's the difference between a hippy and a deadhead? hippys love the earth, deadheads love their family

How many deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - they get a hippy spun and make him do it over and over

theres probly more but listening to the sweet sweet sounds Morris Day and the Time and yyou know what that means

[JodyDnl]

45 for a bag.3 dollars for a pack of pappers.And a rainbow to smoke it with---Priceless---