Gay Rape (merged)

[shevek]

Yes, guys get raped too! And the rapists aren't even necessarily gay; it's usually done by STRAIGHT guys, and the VICTIM is often a gay guy. (Just because a guy is gay, doesn't mean that he wants to do it with EVERY OTHER guy!!!)

I almost got raped when I was 14 by a bunch of other kids about my age. Funny, I'm the gay one (though I wouldn't come out for a few more years), and most of the others regarded themselves as straight. Except for one guy who I have to wonder about, but he was also something of a bully and I never really liked him that much though we sometimes kidded around together. The attempted rape on me put an end to the kidding around of course. I never told anyone about who was involved though I knew all of them, but I know I was very fortunate to get out of it before it went through.

Two of my boyfriends had actually been raped that way when kids, one while in a reform school designed to "straighten" boys out(!) This particular school was shut down after some kid was forced to sit hip-deep in a pile of manure for several hours, got gangrene as a result, and died from the infections. I also remember one time when I was walking around one evening, and stumbled upon the same kind of gang-rape party that was just getting started. I was glad I broke that one up, even if only accidentally.

I knew one friend of mine who was hustling (selling himself to other guys) for a living. I'd even picked him up and had sex with him several times myself, and I fed him or gave him money without requiring anything back on a number of occasions. Not that he minded having sex with me; he was gay, he said he actually enjoyed it, and he preferred to "earn" his money. Anyway, some sicko who had just gotten out of prison was up to his old tricks; I'd heard of a rash of similar incidents happening about the same time. This sicko picked up my friend, slipped him something in a drink, and would have raped him while he was out. My friend however realized what was happening, and contacted his roommate who fetched him and took him home before he passed out completely. Needless to say, that sicko was caught and went right back to prison, hopefully for good this time!

This brings up a point: even a hooker or hustler can be raped, and NO ONE, not even a hooker, deserves to be raped. Except perhaps for the rapist or molester himself getting it in prison AFTER the fact, in which case it might be considered poetic justice!

I want to hear from you about getting raped or molested (or close calls, or friends who've been raped), what you've done to try to recover from this horrible experience, and what you've learned from it. Sympathetic women are welcome here too!

[dangermoose]

i was raped at 16. it destroyed all aggresive tendencies i had and made me into who i am today. i dont know if i ever really did get over it

[shevek]

I don't know if you're depressed (a VERY COMMON reaction to being raped and/or abused), but if you are depressed, feeling suicidal or worthless, finding it hard to feel any pleasure in life, etc. you might want to see about getting into a rap group for rape survivors and possibly into therapy. You may want to check with gay resources in your area, even if you're straight, as most men feel incredibly deep shame over being victims, and the gay community is increasingly willing to acknowledge the need to support survivors in this. Anything is easier to bear when you know you're not alone, knowing that someone really does understand if for no other reason than they've been there too. It may even help you learn to transform your bitterness into wisdom rather than letting it eat you alive.

In addition, if you know for sure who did this to you, you may want to get some legal help in pressing charges. If nothing else it may help bring closure, and it just might get a dangerous sicko off the street before he rapes again. (It's much like a dog that kills its first chicken; after that, the only way to keep the dog from killing more chickens is to keep him away from chickens.) Even if he was your "friend", I have to ask: how could anyone who's REALLY your friend, turn around and RAPE you??? And yes, you have EVERY RIGHT to feel completely enraged over this, and it wouldn't hurt to let it all out (preferably on a punching bag, not on innocent bystanders!) so that you can get it out of your system once and for all. Remember, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

[dangermoose]

nah im cool, still a happy camper, i appreciate the concern though.

[shevek]

nah im cool, still a happy camper, i appreciate the concern though.No problem, I put it up for anyone else who reads these posts too. It's going to be VERY tough for guys to come out about this, even in a forum post, it doesn't mean that they aren't interested in some advice and/or support.

[dangermoose]

oh yea, 4 years ago and i woulda checked it out. personally i've come to terms with it on my own terms though

[shevek]

Dangermoose, I also caught one of your posts on the Rape from every angle thread. I don't blame you for being extra mad about rape, having experienced it firsthand.

[Hip-Hoplover1]

What are your responses to this poll?

[Hip-Hoplover1]

I suppose I should clarify that this thread is for homosexual men who have been either orally or anally raped by homophobic straight men. But I'm sure you guys could have guessed that.

[Bishie lover]

I suppose I should clarify that this thread is for homosexual men who have been either orally or anally raped by homophobic straight men. But I'm sure you guys could have guessed that.
That makes little logical sense when you consider the choice of words...

[Bishie lover]

Only if it was a straight dog that did'nt like gays I think...

[Hip-Hoplover1]

You'd be suprised how many of the rapists of homosexual men are straight homophobes. You see it would sound perfectly logical when you realize that rape is more about power and hate than it is about sex. Sometimes homophobes simply rape homosexuals because they hate them and that is the way they manifest their hate and barbarism.

[erzebet1961]

Yes...I have heard of it happening...and never understood the logic involved...if a striaght guy does another guy....how does the straight guy claim to be totally striaght ????

[L.A.Matthews]

Yes...I have heard of it happening...and never understood the logic involved...if a striaght guy does another guy....how does the straight guy claim to be totally striaght ????

Because sex is irrelevent when rape is involved. Rape's intention is to cause pain; mentally and physically.

[Samhain]

Because sex is irrelevent when rape is involved. Rape's intention is to cause pain; mentally and physically.
exactly
but Hip-Hoplover1 why did you feel the need to start this thread?
S

[bkcmar]

i have know 3 men who were anally raped. this is an act of violence and hatred of their sexuality. this is a act of power or dominance not sex.

don't forget world AIDS day on friday, december 1.

[Hip-Hoplover1]

Sam, I started this thread because I remember like a year or so ago when I first came onto this forum reading a thread in which a lot of the gay men on the thread said they had been raped or knew someone who had been raped. I also read statistics saying that 10-20% of all men will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime, and that the number is probably higher because men are less likely to tell that they've been raped than women. I really started this thread to raise awareness that this is happening. And to see if it is as common as they say it is. No one deserves to be raped. Though I'll admit I probably should have waited until the AIDS awareness was over. I've kinda been off these forums for a while. So I hope this helps.........
WORLD AIDS DAY ON FRIDAY DECEMBER 1st

[hellaclean]

it might seem strange but in my dreams i've been raped couple of times and i rly liked it but i guess it will hurt in a real world :/

[mushie18]

I don't know any guys who have been raped.

[Rainbow Starlite]

I have heard of it, but I don't know anyone personally (to my knowledge) who has experienced this

[erzebet1961]

Yes...a person can be overpowered and held down , face down.....and you can guess the rest.....it happens all the time in prisons.....

[erzebet1961]

You dont have to relax...thats the whole point of rape...its horrible and brutal...and the rapist doesnt care if you want it or not....its going in no matter what....rape isnt sex...its violence .

[erzebet1961]

Yes....it can still happen to even you......guys get tore up all the time !!!!

[erzebet1961]

It doesnt matter.....a guy can still force it in there....he doesnt care if you get hurt or not....thst the whole point of rape.....the rapist doesnt care how badly injured you are....he could totally rip you wide open....it happens all the time !!!

[erzebet1961]

Ok.....your right......lets just hope you never find out.....

[melodiuScorpittarius]

Yes...I have heard of it happening...and never understood the logic involved...if a striaght guy does another guy....how does the straight guy claim to be totally striaght ????

that is JUST it, it doesnt make any sense. try to reason it logically why a "homophobic straight guy" would rape a "homsexual" guy.... it doesnt make sense.

the only way it does make sense is if everyone is naturally bisexual, and attracted to both sexes in CERTAIN degrees....

the reason that you see very little androdeny (which i believe will produce a fairly level bisexual person who will remain attracted to both sexes throughout their life) is because the dichotomy of gender expectations and the imbalance of feminine and masculine energies will cause someone in defense mode to fall on one extreme end of the spectrum or another

if human beings were naturally bisexaul, the other sides of our sexuality, the neglected side, will be repressed by present day culture and religion.....

(ESPECIALLY in males = the machoism of patriarchal western culture which denies especially men to connect with their feminine side which throught out history has been stressed as the only way an individual will be harmoniously balanced and complete, and thus a society can be balanced)

these primitive desirese (once fulfilled in past socities where sexual attraction to both sexes was practiced) have been pushed uncomfortably back into the subconcious...

(not even going to begin on the psychological effects of molestation which i believe happens alot more than is talked about)

...^and usually when this is done it manifests itself in anger and hate twoards the thing its in denial of, no???? really if youre at all farmiliar with freud, the subconcious, and trama, its not hard to come to this conclusion.

they are acting on unconcious primitive drives which are in the collective concious of everyone but contradicted by a cutlure which says otherwise justifed by the religion of a book written by patriarchally driven power hungry males...

straight guys whos thoughts seem to be on repeat...always calling each other gay...obsessed with anal....men molesting boys....i have seen subtle flirting between "straight" men more than i can count.

do not think for a second that straight guys dont think about gay sex as much as men who actually participate...do you actually thing that they would admit this, what they will admit in defense of their 'aberational" thoughts takes form in homophobia...a defense mechanism against oneself.....

when the mind is told NOT to do something...what happens? when you are told not to do drugs what happens, you dont necessarily do them, but it certainly gets your curiousity going.

i have seen too much evidence of this to believe any different haha.

someone respond to my post please!!! if someone actually can relate to what im saying, or possibly agrees with me, let me know, because i have given it alot of thought and would like to discuss it with someone. atleast think about it

THANKYOU!

[melodiuScorpittarius]

Yes...I have heard of it happening...and never understood the logic involved...if a striaght guy does another guy....how does the straight guy claim to be totally striaght ????

there is no logic, its not logical, it doesnt make any sense if thought in terms of black and white "homosexual" "heterosexual" <--infact that doesnt make sense.

[subgoin]

Melllllooooooooooooooooddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Hi

Do i have to go around the whole universe to find you :)

[subgoin]

She is gone Again hahahaha

[subgoin]

"Originally Posted by erzebet1961
Yes...I have heard of it happening...and never understood the logic involved...if a striaght guy does another guy....how does the straight guy claim to be totally striaght ????"

I Agree with Erzebet ... Very logic. Yeahhh.

Dear Melodi

I do not believe in that Female part in me, rather the human part of me which is in every man-kind which symbatize sometimes with a man or a woman, a man can act sometimes feminine if he for example too connected with women like the some hair dressers, but inside he is a real full male.

And i never flirt with man - how dare you :),

But sometimes, i think if a man (specially the young) is deprived from sex for long time, these can lead to doing sex with other male sometimes.

Frankly i never thought about that Gay thing, Sorry but maybe i'm closed minded, still i do not judge here, just saying my opinion.

[melodiuScorpittarius]

ofcourse you would, aries male. however, you would not reveal to me your deepest darkest secrets, nor would many, esp your stong piscenan side which you neglect to acknowldege.

i did not doubt that you would disagree, i would have been surprised if you had.

[melodiuScorpittarius]

and what is it that you are agree with erzebet?

[PhotoGra1]

How come "no" or "neither" is not a poll choice?

[Hip-Hoplover1]

I suppose I should have put neither. Sorry about that.

[MatthewShane]

I also do not know any guys who have been raped really. I dont see sucha thing ever happening to me either. Im rathar masculine..not to say all in here are not. However I would die fighting before I ever let such a thing happen to me. And If it did happen. Whoever did it would surelt meet thier demise all too soon after.

[pulling37]

I was 15 and had drank a lot of beer with another guy. We went to sleep and when I woke up I had blood in my unper pants. He seen this and accused me of shitting my pants. I felt back there and felt nothing so I denied it. When I got home later I checked myself and found it to be blood. I for the life of me couldn't figure this out. It wasn't until many many years later that I figured out that he had raped me anally. I think this is what happened. I can't remember my anus hurting but I just feel that I might very well have been raped.