J0hn
11-19-2006, 04:48 PM
As I sat there with a razor blade in my right hand and a gaping wound on my left wrist. I knew the temptation was too much to resist.
Blood going everywhichway down my arm and dripping onto the floor. Suddenly I don't feel any pain no more.
Mum comes upstairs and asks for an explanation. My tear filled eyes meet hers and tell her that I am going through a tribulation. She suggested I called the samaritans. That I could not do because they could never help me on what I am going through.
Each night terrible nightmares infiltrate my mind. These prison nightmares getting worse and worse each time.
Last night I felt like I was actually in prison but didn't know what crime I could have possibly commited to get me sent here.
Laying on my prison bed, confused hoping it was all a dream. Heart beating and my emotions turned to fear.
Every day is a burden, living with axes over my head. I sometimes wish I was dead.
I stand up and reach over for a flannel and cover the wound. Cleaning away my blood, I swear my mother nearly swooned.
There was blood on the carpet, all she could do was add some 1000 carpet cleaner to get rid of blood. No such luck.
I run out doors and find a forest where I can hide away from the world. I cannot take it anymore, I feel that nothing would ever resurrect me from my tragedy. I see something in the distance at nightfall. The words Gothic are written on each tree that stands taller than the rest.
I suddenly see the signs and decide to become a Gothic. I return home in black. My mother says, "Oh you have decided to come back". Like she ever cared in the first place. But when I tried to look her in the eye again, I just couldn't do it, somehow I felt a disgrace. Could it be the guilt for causing damage to the carpet or was it that I shocked and worried my mum?
Right now I wish I was comfortably numb. Becoming a Goth, made this a reality. Once I saw the trees, my destiny was sealed and done.
As I wander through the same forests each night, I try to find salvation in nature. A lost soul that has been afflicted so bad, everything I could have had,taken away and destroyed. Nothing compensated later.
Nothing gained nothing enjoyed, hiding under shadows, alone afflicted, constant reminising to the days of the light, when everything was alright.
The first cut is the deepest. When I sleep tonight I know another nightmare will infiltrate my razoodox with more realism and lucidity than the one before it.
It was around twelve noon the following Friday when my mum arrived all in black. I questioned her but she didn't answer back. She only smiled and lit another ciggerette.
I said, "Oh forget it", and took a ciggerette from her box and lit one and sat at a table and said, "So how was your day?" The usual stuff came my way.
Blood going everywhichway down my arm and dripping onto the floor. Suddenly I don't feel any pain no more.
Mum comes upstairs and asks for an explanation. My tear filled eyes meet hers and tell her that I am going through a tribulation. She suggested I called the samaritans. That I could not do because they could never help me on what I am going through.
Each night terrible nightmares infiltrate my mind. These prison nightmares getting worse and worse each time.
Last night I felt like I was actually in prison but didn't know what crime I could have possibly commited to get me sent here.
Laying on my prison bed, confused hoping it was all a dream. Heart beating and my emotions turned to fear.
Every day is a burden, living with axes over my head. I sometimes wish I was dead.
I stand up and reach over for a flannel and cover the wound. Cleaning away my blood, I swear my mother nearly swooned.
There was blood on the carpet, all she could do was add some 1000 carpet cleaner to get rid of blood. No such luck.
I run out doors and find a forest where I can hide away from the world. I cannot take it anymore, I feel that nothing would ever resurrect me from my tragedy. I see something in the distance at nightfall. The words Gothic are written on each tree that stands taller than the rest.
I suddenly see the signs and decide to become a Gothic. I return home in black. My mother says, "Oh you have decided to come back". Like she ever cared in the first place. But when I tried to look her in the eye again, I just couldn't do it, somehow I felt a disgrace. Could it be the guilt for causing damage to the carpet or was it that I shocked and worried my mum?
Right now I wish I was comfortably numb. Becoming a Goth, made this a reality. Once I saw the trees, my destiny was sealed and done.
As I wander through the same forests each night, I try to find salvation in nature. A lost soul that has been afflicted so bad, everything I could have had,taken away and destroyed. Nothing compensated later.
Nothing gained nothing enjoyed, hiding under shadows, alone afflicted, constant reminising to the days of the light, when everything was alright.
The first cut is the deepest. When I sleep tonight I know another nightmare will infiltrate my razoodox with more realism and lucidity than the one before it.
It was around twelve noon the following Friday when my mum arrived all in black. I questioned her but she didn't answer back. She only smiled and lit another ciggerette.
I said, "Oh forget it", and took a ciggerette from her box and lit one and sat at a table and said, "So how was your day?" The usual stuff came my way.