Al's Karma

[Aunty Al]

Hi there! [takes her cup of camomile tea and sits down].

You want to know a bit about me? Ok, where should i start. I'm currently a student doing an MA and diploma combined in Social Work. I'm doing the mental health pathway, something that has interested me since I was doing a mental health rehab ward as part of my general nurse training. I'm doing research at the moment for my disertation. I know I want to do it about self-harm but haven't honed it down much more than that yet. Prob be a feminist critique cos I'm a bit of a feminist at heart. I'm a christian too and a lot of people may think these 2 things aren't compatable but I don't see a problem personally.

I'm currently taking driving lessons and have my test later this month. I used to be a biker and had a Kawasaki ER500 but a crash while on the back of my husbands trike put paid to my biking days. Oh yes, I suppose now would be a good time to mention my other half, Russ, or Rook as he usually uses for a nick, who hasn't made it over here yet. He's got a daughter, 17, who lives mostly with her mum. We haven't got any kids between us but we do have 2 dogs, Sam and Pippin.

Well, I guess that enough for starters or there won't be anything else to ask me. I'll do my best to answer any questions with total truth and honesty. Fire away!

[Peace-Phoenix]

Do you want to have kids yourself? And what did you do your BA in?

[Aunty Al]

Hey wow! The whole kids issue. I've never felt its been right to have kids at the time and situation we were in. Now I'm 40 I think having kids would have far more risks for the child having lifelong health problems so I wouldn't want to do that to the child. Both Rook and I have inherited depression so the liklihood is any child would have to cope with that anyway. So no, I don't want to have kids, but sometimes I get fleeting regrets about it.
My first degree is an easier question - social work studies, qualified with a 2:1 in 2003.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Do you get down a lot? What do you do to lift yourself up?

[Aunty Al]

Yeah, I have got very down and for long periods of time but I'm quite up at the moment. When its just mild I do stuff like listening to cool music, having long pampering sessions (bubble baths, books and sometimes candles and/or incense do it for me). I always find that getting out into the countryside or especially to the beach is very therapeutic. Once I can drive and have a car at least i won't have to wait for Rook to take me any more. I find it hard to pray when I'm really down but its always easier when I can see and hear creation around me. I also find exercise helps, especially aquarobics cos I can do that without pressure on my knackered ankle. Talking to people on forums like this is also good :gossip:

[ravenwood]

whats your life time ambition

do you believe in monoghamy

[Aunty Al]

Thank you for your questions!



I definately believe in monogamy, although possibly serial monogamy.

My lifetime ambition - ooh thats hard. There are loads of things I really want to do before I shuffle off but I'm not sure any of them count as a lifetime ambition. I suppose one of the things I've always wanted to do is go up in a hot air balloon, but I also want to visit so many places, get a custom built trike and ride it in big ride-outs, & write and publish an academic text (on feminist views of mental health in case you hadn't guessed from my intro), but I'm not sure any of those are things I've always wanted to do, but are things that seem important to me here and now.

[dapablo]

Hi again Al, good to see you and regards to Rook.

What colour is your living room ?

[Aunty Al]

My living room is a kind of mustard yellow/dark sand colour and my study where I do most of my living is terracotta!
Good to see you too mate

[Peace-Phoenix]

What did you do after you left school? What made you decide to go back to academia?

[Aunty Al]

I left school at 18 and went straight into general nursing. My teachers all wanted me to go to uni but it was made quite clear to me that I'd lived off my parents for long enough and I WAS going to start earning money. I stayed with nursing until 2000 when a combination of stress and frustration made me look at other options. I'd really enjoyed my mental health placement as a student nurse and started some advocacy work with a mental health advocacy programme so it seemed a logical next step to find work with that client group. I decided social work offered me slightly more autonomy than nursing. I went for a degree first in case I changed my mind as I thought I'd be able to use it for other stuff, and at the end of it was offered a place on a masters course.

[Peace-Phoenix]

When did you find religion? Are your parents religious?

[Aunty Al]

Thats not as straight forward to answer as it might sound. As a little kid, I was sent to Sunday school but I think that that had more to do with how my parents wanted to spend Sunday morning than any deep seated religious feelings they had. The nearest church was a bretheren - a most strange and very misogynistic branch of christianity that believed in women covering their heads and staying silent. As soon as I was old enough to make the decision I left!
As a teenager, life at home was pretty awful. My parents weren't a lot of help - in fact they made stuff worse. A teacher at school put me in touch with a friend of his who did a lot of youth work and also went to a pentecostal church. It seemed a good way of spending time out of the house and so I started going along. That was the first time that the stuff said at the front seemed to make sense. I started to feel I was ok, that I was the way that I'd been created and that God actually liked me as I was. It came as a huge shock to me. The other people in the church also treated me as someone who they were pleased to have around, and I actually felt accepted and well, loved, I guess.
After a few weeks of going, my parents decided they wanted to come too. I think they'd seen a change in me and it had made them look at their own spiritual lives. To cut a long story short they 'became christians' for want of a better way of phrasing it. Unfortunately it didn't change theri parenting skills but thats another story.
My first husband wasn't a christian. He was some sort of a quaker when we met, but that soon dropped away and I lost any faith I'd had when life started spiralling downwards at a rate of knots. When I lost 2 close friends within 6 months of that marriage ending I'd had enough of God all together.
Then about 12 years ago, we met up with this biker guy called Oz. He's totally crazy and we got on like a house on fire. Then he invited Russ and I to his church and after weeks of finding excuses we finally went. And again, what I heard made sense to me. And I decided to give christianity another go, this time with the sort of proviso that if God was real, he'd prove it. And he has. Now, my faith is pretty much central to my life. When I pray, I feel so close to the divine, I've seen real answer to prayer. I believe that what Jesus is reported as saying is true - if it wasn't he was one crazy madman, and anyone who says basically love for each other is what its all about is no madman in my book. I believe that love for God can be expressed in many ways but basically entails loving people and taking care of this incredible world we're living in.

I'm sorry if this answer is too rambling or doesn't make too much sense. Come back at me if you want and I'll try again!

[dapablo]

Have you done any religious teaching yourself at a sunday school ?

[Aunty Al]

No never. Not having kids I guess I was never asked and I'm not sure I'd know how to cope with a group of someone else's kids!

[Peace-Phoenix]

Does Russ come online much too? You should get him to come visit us on Hipforums :)

[Aunty Al]

He doesn't come on-line very much and still uses ukhippy where he mostly blogs.

[PooBrain]

'Ello (tis laney here)

Hows the dawgies? :)
Nice to see you here x

[Aunty Al]

'Ello (tis laney here)

Hows the dawgies? :)
Nice to see you here xHiyah honey! Great to meet you again. The doggies are both well. Pippin is still pretty crazy but has mellowed a bit. Sam is just being Sam, playing for sympathy and rolling his eyes at some of the mad things Pip gets up to. How you doing?

[Peace-Phoenix]

What breed of dogs are they? Do you have any pictures of them? I love dogs :)

[Aunty Al]

Both dogs are mixed breed rescue dogs with a lot of terrier in them. Sam had been through 5 homes in 5 months and was on his way to be destroyed as the animal rescue centre thought he was unplaceable. We've never worked out fully why, but he was a real mess psychologically when we got him, scared of the dark, scared of confined spaces and petrified any time he was left alone. He chewed a lot, but then he's a terrier so you expect that. Pippin had been bought for a gift for a guy's new girlfriend without working out that there could be problems with her german shepherd. The other dog thought it was a pressie for him - a real live squeaky toy! He was eventually dumped on my mother-in-laws doorstep, still bleeding, with a note attached. She fosters cats for the cat protection league and so they must've thought it was a good place to leave him.
I haven't worked out how to upload pics yet as of course I've got loads of pics of both of them.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Noticed your dogs are named after Lord of the Rings characters. Are they your favourite characters? Who in Lord of the Rings is most like you? Who would you most like to be?

[Aunty Al]

Its actually Rook thats the big LOTR fan. We named Sam(wise Gamgee, but he only gets his full name when he's really in trouble!) for his loyalty. Pippin is a cross between a papillon and a cairn so papairn -> Pippin seemed logical.
I think I'm quite hobbit like in some ways, loving my home comforts and often on the hunt for second breakfast! I'd like to be more like the daughter of the king of Rohan who rides to battle and fights as a man. I have to show my ignorance by saying I don't know what she's called. I think she appeals cos in my re-enactment days I was one of the toughest fighters in our regiment and was always in the front row in any engagement. I also loathe and detest the social demarkation of women's and men's pursuits. If a woman wants to do something that is considered a 'male' activity she should be able to and likewise a man should feel free to engage in 'female' activities. I was one of only 2 girls who opted for woodwork rather than domestic science at middle school. I chose to do 3 sciences rather than any of the subjects that were earmarked for girls.

Sorry I was in danger there of starting a full on feminist rant! But I passionately believe in equality

[old tiger]

Aunty Al..

as your thread starter points out..
what do you understand under the word karma?
it's a word out of Hinduism..
do you think fate,destiny..all what happens to us...
was meant to be??or not??

crazy Tiger:)

[Sea Breeze]

Hi Aunty Al

I was interested to read about your studies and work. I have been involved with GP referrals for depression/anxiety/stress etc in my therapies practice. Have you come across the role of Complementary Medicine in psych. at all during your studies?

[Aunty Al]

what do you understand under the word karma?
do you think fate,destiny..all what happens to us...
was meant to be??or not??
crazy Tiger:)
Hi Tiger
Phew! I knew you'd find a hard question and you certainly have lived up to my expectation.
I don't think I'd use the words fate or particularly karma. To me, karma kinda means you get what you deserve and in this life i don't see much evidence for that.
I think every individual is to some extent responsible for their own choices in life. But very often, the choices of others override or limit our own choices. We are at the mercy of our fellow beings - my accident was caused by someone who chose to drive irresponsibly and too fast through a junction without adequate observation.
However, I also believe in a merciful God who is interested in all of our individual lives. I believe that being close to God gives us more wisdom in our choices. I also believe that we may be able to see ways that good may come out of a situation, which we might not see for ourselves. The only example of what I mean is that because of the accident, and my mobility problems, I have time to use the internet more and so have met a load of new friends like yourself. Also, in interactions with others, I have found that my disability has made people less reticent to approach me, and when working with people in a social work sense, it is very empowering for them to have a physical advantage over me, and a way that they can reciprocate. I.e. even while I may be helping them in some way, they are able to help me e.g. by finding me a seat.
Does that answer the question? I'm not quite sure, so if it hasn't, feel free to ask more questions.
Thanks Tiger.

[Aunty Al]

I was interested to read about your studies and work. I have been involved with GP referrals for depression/anxiety/stress etc in my therapies practice. Have you come across the role of Complementary Medicine in psych. at all during your studies?
Hi there Sea breeze. Thanks for your question. The role of complementary medicine is not specifically mentioned on my SW course, but it is something I have great interest in, using aromatherapy and crystals for my own stress and anxiety relief. I am increasingly coming to believe that there is no one approach that can be said to be better than the others. What works well for one may work less well or not at all for others.
I'd be very interested in and grateful for any pointers to research in this area as I wish to look at why traditional approaches to the problems of self-harm often seem to fail. As part of that I'd like to include research data on alternatives and how successful (or not) they have been shown to be.
Maybe you could PM me? Thanks.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Re-enactment days eh? Are you into role-play games?

[Peace-Phoenix]

PS. She was called Eowyn by the way. The Eo part of the name, which was common amongst all the Rohan nobility, was, as I remember, from the Anglo-Saxon for horse. Tolkien was a professor of Anglo-Saxon at Oxford....

[Aunty Al]

Eowyn - thanks. I'll try to remember that just in case anyone else asks lol!
Yeah, I've done a bit of roleplaying in my time - AD&D, Cthulu, Traveller, but for the past few years (eek its more than 13 years!) I've just played Vampire the eternal struggle. First edition. I've had a character that I've kept running on and off for all that time but she's really too powerful to get her hands dirty these days - she has ghouls and flunkies to do that sort of thing, so I'm also running a new 13th generation character.
Do you do any reenactment or role-playing yourself?

[lithium]

Hello

How did you find hipforums?

And ... what's the most complex medical procedure you've had done?

[Aunty Al]

How did you find hipforums?Hi Lithium. I found hipforums through a certain other uk site with a lot of ex-members from here. I've been told I could be booted off here just for mentioning its name. I don't think I really believe that but am taking no chances!

And ... what's the most complex medical procedure you've had done?Hmm, I've assisted in loads cos I used to be a theatre scrub nurse and then an endoscopy assistant but personally, the most complex was probably the arthroscopy on my ankle. They had a look inside the joint to see if they could do anything to help. They couldn't. Oh well, only another 10 years before they'll do me a joint replacement lol!

[Peace-Phoenix]

Nooo, don't be silly, you won't be booted off here. The problem from them was persistent spam, and luncheon meat, and other such unsavoury pork products which ended up destroying the old community on here. Nothing wrong with mentioning Voldemort's name. With both communities, however, we've tended to avoid discussing one another as people on both sides have bitter memories and it usually ends in a slanging match which harms everyone and helps no one. Last time I was threatened with being sued and had my PM access removed over there. So the best way to avoid the problem is to get on with our own things....

[Aunty Al]

Thanks for the reassurance Sal!

[dapablo]

Ok now your a driver do you plan to own a car ?

[Aunty Al]

I certainly do! I get dla mobility component cos of my ankle probs so I can get a car on motability - new car, taxed and insured, for just the price of my benefit each week. So I've got a Nissan dealer coming round this afternoon to show me the Note and let me have a test drive. I know there are a lot of negatives around owning a car, but for someone who has as much trouble as i do accessing and using public transport, its the key to a whole new life of freedom and being to go out whenever and wherever I want to without having to depend on Russ or friends all the time.

[old tiger]

Aunty Al..

A car..woooah..cheers..yip..
but still..I love you on a trike:) :)
crazy Tiger..

[Aunty Al]

Tiger, it WILL happen! I need a car but I still want a trike! I don't think that longing will ever go away, but a car will enable me to start earning so i can afford a trike!
Btw, LOVED the Nissan Note and one should be mine by the 18th December. Very exciting

[lithium]

What's your favourite food? Are you good at cooking?

[Aunty Al]

People tell me I'm good at cooking so I guess I must be, although I can't do baking or anything like that. Favourite food is a toss-up between pizza and curry but I don't tend to cook my own pizzas!

[dapablo]

How many people do you have to get christsmas presents for ?

[Aunty Al]

Do you mean how many do I buy for in total or how many have I not bought for yet? We buy for about 16 people and then for each other. What about you?

[dapablo]

23 plus my wife and the two girls, far too many. £5-£10 each and what can you get for that nowadays.

Do you attend any public christmas celebrations ?

[Aunty Al]

I'm going to our church's carol service next Monday. We now meet in a university lecture theatre so we're sharing the service with the christian union there. We won't be able to have candles this year which is a great shame cos I love it when you've just got the twinkling flickering soft light and such familiar songs celebrating something thats very important to me.

And yeah, you can't get anything for a fiver this year, so gradually all the pressies creep towards the tenner mark and you end up paying twice as much. I love Christmas but hate the rampant commercialism. I just don't do 'duty' cards or pressies. Maybe thats just me being a miserable scrooge!