Could you forgive your lover of.......?

[Sininabin]

If the one you loved said that they had rape someone, or that they molested a child, or they killed a man, or if they took advantage of distrught women would you lose your ablity to love them?

If they said that they were beyond these things, and that their were thoughts the are only in the past, could you see past their misdeeds, and be able to just see them as who they are

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?

but it is a general question, imagine your love one spilling their guts, reveling a revolting past could you let the past remain in the past?

---new part of the question---

would they have to serve their punishment to the law, or do you think if they repented in their own way that it would be pass-able?

[soaringeagle]

wow...umm freind...are you admitting to murder? i knew about everything el;se..and you probably know several ppl tried to stop u from goin further then we'd known about...
damn dude...
perhaps she could understand, but i think shed also expect you to pay a debt to society and those you hurt and make things as right as possible

fick man..i dont remember how old u r..but if u murdered someone..you'd been displaying psychopathic behavior..can u be sure its all behind u..u'd need to make a commitment to getting help wether she can love u or not

[soaringeagle]

If the won you loved said that they had rape someone, or that they molested a child, or they killed a man, or if they took advantage of distrught women would you lose your ablity to love them? ok, well...your asking in ethics...which i dont see this forum getting much use...so guess i'll answer...man..youd gafta be absoluteky 1000000000% different then who youve been...real pentence for what youd have done would have to be to the people and familues youd have hurt...if love truly made u repent...youd have to ask forgiveness from society...you need 5 years of repentence at least...prefferebly with mental help...voluntarily....


If they said that they were beyond these things, and that their were thoughts the are only in the past, could you see past their misdeeds, and be able to just see them as who they are
yes i believe love can truly change you...but...all this has happened in the past year...and..it all started over a girl if u remember...you need to get help....she maybe able to see who you are yes.. but you need to get into treatment before u hurt her or anyone else...i do hope u really do have all that in the past... but youve been unstable and you know it....no change is complete that fast....i dont think any1 could accept it if u didnt really pay pennance or really get help...

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?

but it is a general question, imagine your love one spilling their guts, reveling a revolting past could you let the past remain in the past? you purposely made your past as revolting as possible... spilling your guts would probibly scare the shit out of her... if she really is the 1 however... she would still ove you..but no matter what i think any1 would agree youd need help....pure pennence requires rehab...man...u fucked up big and need a few years to think bout what u did

[benotfree]

The only way I could forgive my lover is if I knew that they had realized what they did was wrong and would vollentarily go into therapy. But if they killed someone thats a deal breaker

[soaringeagle]

cant believe in 14 hours only 5 people have even looked at this and voted
but if it was about weed or sex it woulda had 5 replies b4 the poll was posted

[benotfree]

I agree, but then again, sex and drugs rock!

[Sininabin]

wow...umm freind...are you admitting to murder? no just wondering, wanted to cover all the large crimes

[soaringeagle]

no just wondering, wanted to cover all the large crimes ok, i know you had contemplated it

well, what are you hoping she will forgive

[Sininabin]

well, what are you hoping she will forgivelol no i don't think i would every tell any one i really care about what i did, if i'm over it its good enouph for her.

but i made this thread becasue a person once said "imagine if you rape her, no woman would ever forgive if you did that" i was just wondering what the numbers on that are......even if it is from this small pool

[hippie_chick666]

That is a really hard question. It would be hard to forgive any of those things, but I think I could forgive urder easiest, depending on the situation.

Peace and love

[icedteapriestess]

yes. I would loose my ability to love my partner if he did those things. If I knew I had been dating a rapist/child molester I would probably immediatley be moved to vomit out of disgust. Then I would have to go into therapy to get over having even touched such a fucked up loser. Child molesters are some of the most vile beings in the world.. notice I didn't say human being, as I don't think someone who hurts children is good enough to be classed as a human. Same goes for rapists.

Is that honest enough for you?

[soaringeagle]

lol no i don't think i would every tell any one i really care about what i did, if i'm over it its good enouph for her. you made the thread with the assumption you would open up, and tell her everything, now you say you'll never tell her anything
if you say your over it (doubtful) and thats good enough forr her..how can it be good enough for her if she never knows?


but i made this thread becasue a person once said "imagine if you rape her, no woman would ever forgive if you did that" i was just wondering what the numbers on that are......even if it is from this small pool was that me that said that? anyways..as you see...so far the number is zero
that isnt to sy nobody could..if..there was true pennance and healling
nobody in theyre right mind would want to see u in any relationship at all, without a min of 5 years intencive therapy
and..some attempt to make some restitution for all youve done

[baloon]

this post was deleted by user

[Aesthete]

I could forgive anything, however revolting and evil. I assume that a key assumption of the OP is true sorrow for the deed and resolution for no more offenses. Given these variables, it would not affect my ability to love him. The way I see it is that we all have mishaps. The situation described in the OP seems to insinuate that these mishaps are not truly dispositional but are merely unfortunate lapses in character that lead down an extreme path.

[Sininabin]

you made the thread with the assumption you would open up, and tell her everything, now you say you'll never tell her anything
if you say your over it (doubtful) and thats good enough forr her..how can it be good enough for her if she never knows?

I'm not navie enouph to think that i could tell my partner that i raped someone if i did without the realtionship being seriously shut down. This is just a solidification of that idea. I would much rather have to live with a lie, then to let another think i like die. It good enouph for her becasue she likes me, and if i'm happy with myself, then she should be happy for me. So if she sees me as happy then i am happy. And if she sees me at satifed then i appear satisfed and what she doen't know can't hurt, unless i do (jk jk i thought it was started to sound too serious)

[LuckyStripe]

No I wouldnt be able to forgive any of those things.... I wouldnt trust the person. Im sure there are more loving, forgiving people out there then me though.

[Xac]

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?


Told you man, when you were typing up your crap and everyone was worried, i remember posting that this would be a problem for you, i knew it would. Everyone wants to love and be loved.

[soaringeagle]

No I wouldnt be able to forgive any of those things.... I wouldnt trust the person. Im sure there are more loving, forgiving people out there then me though.loving & forgiving?
try nieve & idiotic
hes a sociopath
shes his freakin cousil
hes molested his aunt & neice
hes raped & noew possibly murdered
loving & forgiving?
shes his next victim
his only true repentence would bre to turn himself in & gert help..
sorry dude..
ya cant say ooops sorry i kissed ya..
we toldd you all this when u were only contem,plating these sick crimes

[darrellkitchen]

It really doesn't matter one way or another, your past. What matters is what do you do now?

When you tell someone of your past, you in effect create a reaction in the other person you tell. You become a causal factor for the other person to either hate you or forgive you. Love you ... that's another story. Trust you ... again another story.

What you need to do is, if you really have made a change, is to let go of the past ... it's obvious you haven't let go of it, cause you are dragging it around in the forum, and dragging it over other people ...

It doesn't matter what you've done. What matters is what you're doing. If you keep dragging the past around with you, you're going to repeat it, no matter how much it repulses you or how much you regret doing it. Until eventually you'll have no conscience about it whatsoever.

In Buddhism it is said that Clinging is a result of Craving, and Craving is a result of Feelings, and Feelings are of three types: greed (pleasure), ill-will (pain, anger, hatred) and delusion. Point is, if your clinging to the past, chances are your craving it as well.

Posting your going-ons here is also a way to indicate you are still craving the past.

If you really have changed, are really pentanent, you must first forgive yourself and let go of it. If what you've done requires some sort of public punishment then fret not, it will eventually find you out.

What you have to accept responsibility for is the kamma (Karma) you have created in the actions you have taken. You are the owner of your actions, heir to your actions, born of your actions, related through your actions and live dependent on your actions. Whatever actions you do for good or for evil, to those actions you will fall heir. You cannot escape your actions nor the result for your actions. Even in death you cannot escape them. Nor a thousand deaths.

Telling other people about your past deeds (even in this forum) gives rise in those individuals their own kamma. Kamma they will regret and kamma they do not want to carry around with them. You will give rise to anger, ill-will, hatred, loathing ...

[soaringeagle]

^^^^^^^^ uhhuh..what he said

but then again if u think back a bit
youve had 200 people try to tell u that no woman would ever love you if you performed these actions then u not only did em but bragged about em
all 200 made almost as much sence as this poster above
so you chose a life of never being loved or trusted
justto explore our dark thrills
now only real pennence to dsociety & the victimks will do

[osutuffy]

I've never been in this situation, so I can't honestly answer. My father went to prison for most of my life for attempted murder and I was willing to forgive him. Considering that he shot someone in the head and gave up his chance of raising me and I still was able to forgive him for it says alot. On the flip side, he hasn't changed. He is a sociopath and doesn't feel that he was wrong to shoot someone over 25 bucks. When I realized he hadn't changed, I stopped communication with him. But I had been willing to try.
As for someone else who has committed murder or rape, I don't know. I know a guy that shot someone once and I'd met him a long time after it'd happened and he'd changed. It was when he was younger and thought being in a gang was cool. He says now he realizes how retarted that was and is glad that he didn't actually kill someone. But he could have.
As for rape, this is a tough one for me. I had a cousin who was 11 that tried to rape me when I was 5. I forgave him because I didn't feel like he was trying to hurt me but that he was having all these hormones that he didn't understand. Like a child playing with a gun when they do not understand that it can kill or what death is, I don't think he realized the harm he could have caused me. If it is an adult that raped a child, I'd have huge issues with that. In a fit of rage you can kill someone so quickly that it's over before you thought about it. Say someone is trying to harm your child you might attack them and kill them out of defense. But there is no reason that an adult can rape a child without having time to think about what they are doing.

[Maryslittlebrat]

If the one you loved said that they had rape someone, or that they molested a child, or they killed a man, or if they took advantage of distrught women would you lose your ablity to love them?


No. I don't see how the two are opposed.


If they said that they were beyond these things, and that their were thoughts the are only in the past, could you see past their misdeeds, and be able to just see them as who they are


Underneath this is who they are and no acts define a person as this or that their conditioned beibng committed good or bad.



This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?


I would hope so and that we can live in a world of forgivenss...forgive yourself for whatever has happened.


but it is a general question, imagine your love one spilling their guts, reveling a revolting past could you let the past remain in the past?


It's where it belongs and only the present creates the past.


---new part of the question---

would they have to serve their punishment to the law, or do you think if they repented in their own way that it would be pass-able?
That is up to the person to judge for themselves, not me.
God bless you

[madlizard]

I could forgive them assuming they had felt truly sorry, offer my support & help them get help

I've thought about it before and I could forgive someone who raped me, or tried to hurt me, etc. but I could never trust them. I know this is not what the question is asking but I'm saying this to confirm my willingness to forgive others.

Assuming I'd forgiven the person, and they've even gotten help, would I want to be involved with them romantically anymore? No chance. It would change the relationship in such a significant way that I can't even imagine. There would be a major trust issue. Much too major.

Now that doesn't mean that the truth isn't better than living a life of lies. I can't imagine it's easy to live with yourself if you had done something so awful AND hid it from the people you loved. Fess up to your past. No matter what the consequences of fessing up will be, it WILL solidify that you have become a bigger man and are willing to get help for your problems.

I would, in fact, be able to respect the person much more if they told the truth than if they kept their dark secret under wraps.

Anyone else care to add anything?

BTW, off topic, SoaringEagle- you usually say the most kind, intellegent things. I hope to have a mind as strong as yours as my life progresses forward.

[Mlynn]

Weather or not I would be able to "forgive" that person would be a moot point as far as I'm concerned. Regardless of my amount of love or forgiveness twards a person I would be smart enough to realise that ANY further contact with that person would be harmful and negative for ME....atleast emotionally. I would not be prepared to sacrafice my mental, emotional, or physical well-being to give "support" to a person who is so unhealthy that he would rape or murder someone else. My father is an alcoholic NPD who is violent because he was abused by HIS father. My mother is a co-dependant/depressive because of living WITH my father. My brother is a violent drug addict who has been accused of molestation BECAUSE of the neglect/abuse from BOTH our parents. Will I be able to forgive them for how they damaged me? At some point. Do I feel pitty for them? Sure....BUT that doesn't mean I am going to blindly expose myself to them when it hurts ME. I won't sacrafice myself for them....no matter how sorry they are, how much "help" they have gotten, or how long it's been. I would feel the same way about a lover who harmed ANYONE.

Breaking up wouldn't be about punishment or lack of love/forgivness.....it would be about realising that I am not prepared to take on & absorb this persons unhealthy turmoil.....and that I can not be a healthy person with a rapiest or murder in my life.

[madlizard]

Weather or not I would be able to "forgive" that person would be a moot point as far as I'm concerned. Regardless of my amount of love or forgiveness twards a person I would be smart enough to realise that ANY further contact with that person would be harmful and negative for ME....atleast emotionally. I would not be prepared to sacrafice my mental, emotional, or physical well-being to give "support" to a person who is so unhealthy that he would rape or murder someone else. My father is an alcoholic NPD who is violent because he was abused by HIS father. My mother is a co-dependant/depressive because of living WITH my father. My brother is a violent drug addict who has been accused of molestation BECAUSE of the neglect/abuse from BOTH our parents. Will I be able to forgive them for how they damaged me? At some point. Do I feel pitty for them? Sure....BUT that doesn't mean I am going to blindly expose myself to them when it hurts ME. I won't sacrafice myself for them....no matter how sorry they are, how much "help" they have gotten, or how long it's been. I would feel the same way about a lover who harmed ANYONE.

Breaking up wouldn't be about punishment or lack of love/forgivness.....it would be about realising that I am not prepared to take on & absorb this persons unhealthy turmoil.....and that I can not be a healthy person with a rapiest or murder in my life.
Right. Exactly how I feel.

[soaringeagle]

I've never been in this situation, so I can't honestly answer. My father went to prison for most of my life for attempted murder and I was willing to forgive him. Considering that he shot someone in the head and gave up his chance of raising me and I still was able to forgive him for it says alot. On the flip side, he hasn't changed. He is a sociopath and doesn't feel that he was wrong to shoot someone over 25 bucks. When I realized he hadn't changed, I stopped communication with him. But I had been willing to try.
As for someone else who has committed murder or rape, I don't know. I know a guy that shot someone once and I'd met him a long time after it'd happened and he'd changed. It was when he was younger and thought being in a gang was cool. He says now he realizes how retarted that was and is glad that he didn't actually kill someone. But he could have.
As for rape, this is a tough one for me. I had a cousin who was 11 that tried to rape me when I was 5. I forgave him because I didn't feel like he was trying to hurt me but that he was having all these hormones that he didn't understand. Like a child playing with a gun when they do not understand that it can kill or what death is, I don't think he realized the harm he could have caused me. If it is an adult that raped a child, I'd have huge issues with that. In a fit of rage you can kill someone so quickly that it's over before you thought about it. Say someone is trying to harm your child you might attack them and kill them out of defense. But there is no reason that an adult can rape a child without having time to think about what they are doing.sininabin contemplated rape molestation & murder for a good 6 months or a year before committing such acts
in his 1st thread i specificaly told him to concidedr how every action would effect how any future love would feel towards him.. i told him, rape & murder would guarantee him a life of misery & loneliness,yet he proceeded..
now..his love... is his underage cousin..she is in danger from him..if he cares..has any feeling at all.. he will turn himself in to protect her & every1 else

[Mirakel]

i could forgive anything. and i mean anything, if the person is a different person now. i have seen people be completely changed, like no remnant of who they were before, except they have the same face and name. if the person knows what they did was wrong, and they have changed completely, then if god can forgive, who am i to withold it?? and i have forgiven like this before. one of my friends, a guy who i was seeing at the time, confessed to me that he had murdered someone, but the case had been thrown out because of lack of evidence. but he sees how wrong he was. and maybe i'm naive, but i believe he changed. and we're not together anymore, but still really good friends. we just decided we weren't the right mix. but forgiveness is the best thing to have, and the best thing to give away.

[3xi]

If the one you loved said that they had rape someone, or that they molested a child, or they killed a man, or if they took advantage of distrught women would you lose your ablity to love them?

If they said that they were beyond these things, and that their were thoughts the are only in the past, could you see past their misdeeds, and be able to just see them as who they are

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?

but it is a general question, imagine your love one spilling their guts, reveling a revolting past could you let the past remain in the past?

---new part of the question---

would they have to serve their punishment to the law, or do you think if they repented in their own way that it would be pass-able?
i truly believe that the only way that someone can rise up to the place where they will never commit whatever act they feel guilty for again is by admitting what they have done that they feel guilty for. in other words - in order to ensure that you are not that person anymore you MUST openly admit and/or fess up to what you have done.

the problem is that most people are NOT as understanding as i am and will most likely hold it against you. but you have to try- the good thing i guess is that if the girl you admit to runs to the police they will most likely laugh at her, if by chance they do take her seriously you could always say that she is just an unhappy lover looking to get you in trouble with the law. this kinda stuff happens all the time so they will believe you - there have been millions of cases where the woman makes up stories about a man just to get them in trouble.

i guess what i am trying to say is - tell her a little bit and see how she reacts, if she freaks out you know that you need to find another woman.

there is most definitely a woman out there who would be ok with your past especially if you are beyond it. the problem is that there are probably 100 woman that would hate you for every one that would love you.

i am happy to know that you are on the right track.

to answer your other question - if you know in your heart that you are a changed man then there is no need to spend time in jail. jail will never fix anything. spend the rest of your life being a good person. jail is good for keeping murderers from killing more people - what is the need to keep someone in jail who has already learned their lesson?

[soaringeagle]

his lover is his underage cousin
read all his posts before assumming hes a good person & rehabilitated
sociopaths dont change overnight because they fucked theyre cousin
he needs serius mental help & medication before hed even be safe to be around
saying i changed doesnt make u change
& if the problems a disease of the mind then only tratting that mental illness will ever cause change
you cannot just choose not to be mentaly ill

other then that your post was very well said
however i strongly urge every1 who answers this thread to read every other thread he posted before doing so
follow his thought patterns through contemplating rape & murder to carrying them out
read how hundreds tried to stop him before he hurt anyone & how coldly he choose to ignore them & rape & murder anyway
i may sound cold & heartless towards him but i assure you im not
but i do not buy that hes changed if hes put no effort into changing except by getting his underage cousen to sleep with him
is that change? or just a new angle on an old probblem

[3xi]

if what you say is true - i am not going to go looking for the proof - about his cousin then ok, i hear ya - he is not well. he needs to make better choices.

BUT- i have serious problems with people like you who think that the only way one can better themselves is with therapy and/or medication.

the fact remains that you dont understand what you are talking about - for one reason alone - you are not in his head, therefore you dont know if he is mentally ill.

committing an act of sin or whatever you want to call it is a choice - all one needs to do is never make that choice again and who the hell are you to say a person cant change overnight?

now, this is not to say that you are not right. you very well could be. the point i am trying to make is that you might be making it more difficult for him to make the right decision. why are you trying to convince him that he is fucked up? if he is i am sure he is aware. some guy on a forum will never get someone who does not want therapy to go get some... actually - NO ONE will ever be able to convince someone that they need therapy if that person dosent feel they need it. that is a decision that they must make on their own and people like you only make that a harder decision to make.

you are suggesting to this guy that he will never change without professional help, in a way you are giving him a good excuse not to change. next time he has that fucked up urge again it will be easier to give in if he thinks that he is mentally ill and too fucked up to make any good choice. maybe if he remembers what i say and realizes that he does have a choice he will make a better decision then he has in the past.

therapy and drugs are NOT for everyone.

whatever- i am sure you will never change- so go on convincing everyone that they need help(you did something similar in an lsd thread).

maybe it is you that needs the help.

there is a very good chance that this forum is all the help that guy needs to make the right choice.... and that is all it boils down to... he still has a choice - people like you should stop suggesting that he does not have a choice - and that is all you are doing by saying that he is mentally ill. you are saying that he is not capable of making the right decision. - in a way you are wishing this horrible reality upon someone... maybe there is something wrong with you! think about it!!!

[Sininabin]

if what you say is true - i am not going to go looking for the proof - about his cousin then ok, i hear ya - he is not well. he needs to make better choices.

BUT- i have serious problems with people like you who think that the only way one can better themselves is with therapy and/or medication.

the fact remains that you dont understand what you are talking about - for one reason alone - you are not in his head, therefore you dont know if he is mentally ill.

committing an act of sin or whatever you want to call it is a choice - all one needs to do is never make that choice again and who the hell are you to say a person cant change overnight?

now, this is not to say that you are not right. you very well could be. the point i am trying to make is that you might be making it more difficult for him to make the right decision. why are you trying to convince him that he is fucked up? if he is i am sure he is aware. some guy on a forum will never get someone who does not want therapy to go get some... actually - NO ONE will ever be able to convince someone that they need therapy if that person dosent feel they need it. that is a decision that they must make on their own and people like you only make that a harder decision to make.

you are suggesting to this guy that he will never change without professional help, in a way you are giving him a good excuse not to change. next time he has that fucked up urge again it will be easier to give in if he thinks that he is mentally ill and too fucked up to make any good choice. maybe if he remembers what i say and realizes that he does have a choice he will make a better decision then he has in the past.

therapy and drugs are NOT for everyone.

whatever- i am sure you will never change- so go on convincing everyone that they need help(you did something similar in an lsd thread).

maybe it is you that needs the help.

there is a very good chance that this forum is all the help that guy needs to make the right choice.... and that is all it boils down to... he still has a choice - people like you should stop suggesting that he does not have a choice - and that is all you are doing by saying that he is mentally ill. you are saying that he is not capable of making the right decision. - in a way you are wishing this horrible reality upon someone... maybe there is something wrong with you! think about it!!!I just logged back on today after inactivity for awhile and never read this post;

very kind. Looking back almost less then a year ago I remember back then. It sometimes doesn't feel real.

The buddist guy had good advice though it's quite a stretch to believe in Karma.

It's odd looking back i ususally don't becasue you can't change what happened or didn't. Sorry if i kicked up a dead thread but they posts were mostly insightful. I guess I'm better off since then, though reading the old world doesn't put mind on ease.

[themnax]

for me it is not a matter of forgiving the past, but whether or not the offending behaiviour has ceased. perminently. and stays that way. whatever that offending behaviour may happen to have been.

some things people sometimes do, require, for the health and safety of the rest of us, that they be denied the opportunity of doing them again. that is what jails are for. though this may not always be the best way of going about it. often though, it is an essential and unavoidable one.

whether we forgive them in our hearts or not.

and there's no good reason not to forgive anything. as long as that forgiveness does not allow or encourage any means of repeating any sort of REAL offence, one that truely endangers the survival of others and the well being of the kind of world we all have to live in.

even murderers are "good people", who none the less need to be denied the opportunity to repeat their offence, for the safety and well being of the rest of us.

i think what we need to not tollerate, is on going aggressiveness, billigerance, all that sort of thing, whatever beliefs, idiologies or anything else is used as an excuse or even motivation for it.

and i think we need to be very careful in this to not become prejudiced one way or anyother about beliefs, idiologies and so on, but rather and only, to concern ourselves with preventing the causes of suffering.

=^^=
.../\...

[darrellkitchen]

... though it's quite a stretch to believe in Karma.

... reading the old world doesn't put mind on ease.You don't have to, nor need to believe in Karma (p: Kamma). Fact of the matter is you don't have to believe in anything, just understand and become mindful of your actions.

Christians believe in kamma, though they have a different approach to this understanding ... sowing what you reap.

If reading about the old world doesn't put your mind to ease, then quit dragging it around with ya. Let it go. That's it. It's in the past and nothing can be done about the past. Something can, however, be done about the present moment.

Just let it go.

Stop craving it ... clinging is a result of craving. Once you stop craving it, the clinging ceases.

[repro-bait]

there is but one answer to those questions posed........
one must always face the consequences of one' actions....whatever they may be.

[Xac]

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?

Told you man, i remember when you were posting all that violent crap and people wanted to call the police, i told you one day you'd have a partner and you'd wish you'd never been a scum bag.

EDIT; i should have read through this, didnt realize that i'd already posted what i just posted this post... also i can't believe that you dont actually want pennence for that shit... soaringeagle is spot on, you need serious professional help... at the moment i really think the best thing would be serious institutionalization.... i have never ever thought that a solution for anyone before...

[yumyum2k5]

i believe you can forgive for anything. You should forgive people for what they have done wrong, and help them do things right.

'love them for the right and do not judge them for the wrong' is a quote i remember too well.

I dont believe humans are that important that we should find the need to feel above forgiveness. We shouldnt judge or punish or anything. Thats the job of the almighty. You just gotta forgive people and be there to help them. The world would be paradise if everyone stopped trying to see the earth through mirrors.

one love!!!! not 'some-love, some not-love' its ONE LOVE!

[scratcho]

You break the implied and accepted social contract and there should be consequences.Break a window-you pay.Break a car-you pay.Steal-you pay.Rape-you pay.Kill-you pay.---------Now--forgivness has nothing to do with paying------- HOW are YOU gonna pay??

[Sininabin]

I think I'm really happier person, I told her everything, and she forgives me. Though she says I need to take responsiblity, after everything I've heard here I doubted if someone could, but I assure you nice people are out there.

[soaringeagle]

how have you taken responcibility?

[Class]

I would be alright with murder, because things can get very complicated sometimes. Maybe alright wasn't the right word. Yes I would still love her though.

Any molestation or rape thing would be harder for me to accept. I think I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who molests children though, regardless of whether I loved them or not.