Spells for someone else..

[velvet]

Hey all..

I was wondering.. I read somewhere that you never should do magic for someone else unless you have their approval.. how do you feel about this? 'Cause with 'normal prayer' (like in catholic church, what I grew up with) this never seemed to be an issue. So, what is it that makes magic different? Do you think it would be okay to cast a spell for someone that doesn't know your doing it? Or what if you know that that person is a bit afraid of 'the occult'? Curious about boundaries here.

Btw: I never did any spells, but I have a friend who is in a pretty bad place in his life right now (traumatised 20 y/o refugee from Sierra Leone, former childsoldier, probably will have to leave this country eventually due to this crappy government who dare to call themself christians.. grr.. okay.. enough for now).. sooo.. I was thinking if I could make a wish for him by doing a spell kinda thing or something.. to send him some good vibes. It just feels frustrating that I can't really do anything else besides 'being there', which as it turns out only complicates things more for him, since he fell in love with me.. argh.. :( Now I think of it.. maybe some kind of 'strength' spell for me in the future would be welcome as well...

Okay.. long story.. feel free to respond to the 'general boundary' question or to the more personal story.. ;)

[NEMISIS]

INSANES NUMQUAM MORIUNTUR

[velvet]

Sorry for this folks.. if you want to know what this is all about, check:


http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=236280#post236280
(besides trying to look educated by speaking Latin, he also pm'ed me.. *sigh*.. hey.. balance right? Good spells.. bad spells! Let's hex'm! *grin*.. just joking)

I'm just kinda sad and frustrated about that friend of mine so I was a little more harsh then I usually am..

cerridwen.. feel free to delete this thread, I'll post my question again

[RyvreWillow]

Hey there!


Good question you posted there!

in my humble opinion, there is NO difference between a wiccan's spell, and a christian's prayer; it is repectively how we reach out and touch a higher power. However, most christians, and other non-pagans, can't seem to grasp the idea that this is our religion (okay, i'm being general there--there are certainly many witches who are not pagan, and just use the magick without anything else behind it, but we're talking about religion here, so i will put it in those terms).

My advice to you would be to light a candle for your friend. It is a simple, universal way to honor your friend and his situation, and i don't know of any faith that would look down on that. Get a new candle (with a used one, you may be mixing energies), any shape or size (though i would suggest a white one, if available, since you're trying to draw in as much positive energy for him as possible), and light it as you visualize your friend happy and healthy, radiating a joyful light. Hold that image as long as possible, pray if that is something you are comfortable with, or say something like "may my friend ______ know perfect happiness; may he be safe and treated fairly; so mote it be (or amen, or let it be so, etc)" Let it burn through, or put it out, relighting daily until it is burned down, repeating the meditation/prayer/words each time. Visualization is really important.

Though it's so simple, i have found personally that it can be more powerful than even the most intricate rituals--with the added bonus that it breaks no rules.

Oh yes, and it is never ok to do a spell for someone without their knowledge (unless of course it's a small child, or someone too sick or otherwise unable to make that decision--in which case, use your best judgement). Why? Well, it's not just because they may be afraid of magick (that is a big reason though, much of the time), but also the fact that one must be willing to change before they can get help--meaning they need to make the step to ask for help before it will do them any good; you can yell at an alcoholic to stop drinking until you're blue in the face, but it'll only make things worse for them (and you) until they want to get well. Extreme example, but you know what i mean.

Blessings to your friend

[velvet]

Hey thanks, that's pretty helpfull :)

So, basically you are saying that it's okay to make a wish for someone (in a prayer like way), but it's not okay to do a spell (with the intent to alter things) for someone who isn't aware of you doing it? I agree with that..

I'll try the white candle thing soon.. I'm going to see him today to check how he's doing, thanks for your concern!

*hug*

[cerridwen]

The idea behind not casting spells on someone who doesn't know is that you're not supposed to interfere in their lives. I think the exception is when you're doing a binding spell, to protect them from doing harm or receiving harm... You can't spell on them to change who or how they are, and the same rule applies to prayer (I grew up catholic too.)


It's really to your own descretion though... it falls under the whole rule of not harming others etc... and remember that whatever you put oug you get back times three.

[RyvreWillow]

How is your friend doing, by the way?


Are things looking up yet?

I woke up this morning thinking about him, so i was just wondering

Peace and love

[velvet]

Oh.. that's nice of you :) He's doing pretty ok.. I haven't tried the candle thingie yet 'cause it seemed more better to wait with doing such a thing untill he really needs it.. like.. don't try to fix something that isn't broken :) And he has some difficult things on his way (he's due in court at the end of september for a stupid thing he did)..


Thanks for asking!

[RyvreWillow]

i'm very glad that nothing is broken :)
Keep us updated, and don't hesitate to let us know if you need some extra help with this or anything else--sometimes even a long-distance zap is helpful ;)