the curse of the bisexual

[androgynuity]

Okay, some of you are going to open this thread full of ire at the title, but bear with me. It's my first posting and if I can't find some fellow-feeling here, then I'm probably in trouble.

The title means this... I'm bisexual and I try to be happy with that. Don't get me wrong, it's the way I am, or the way I was created and I don't want to be anything but me. I've had relationships in the past - 2 serious ones with women, one with a man. At the minute I'm living with a woman who I could seriously believe to be an angel in human form (I'll qualify for that anyone who wants it). I love her so much my heart is full.

But I'm going through a bad time. Every time I'm with a woman over the long term I miss men and gay sex. When I was with my male partner I missed women and female sex. I don't want to be unfaithful or do anything I'll regret... but, does anybody else in the world ever feeel like that or is it really just me.

[nimh]

have you thought about polyamory?

[androgynuity]

I haven't got to the stage of telling my partner how I feel. I know I should, I'm just scared of what she might say. She knows about my previous relationship with a man, so it's not that I think she would freak I just don't want her to think it's because I don't love her fully or enough

[moonlightdelerium]

I'm at the point where I can't get off with my boyfriend, I have to close my eyes and imagine the girlies, or just fake it and masterbate when he's asleep.

[nimh]

I haven't got to the stage of telling my partner how I feel. I know I should, I'm just scared of what she might say. She knows about my previous relationship with a man, so it's not that I think she would freak I just don't want her to think it's because I don't love her fully or enoughsounds like you two really need to have a talk

[KewlDewd66]

I guess, you are probably getting to your own independent conclusions here...

No matter what you do and, where you go, it'll always be imperfect for you.

The only working solutions for you would be to date people of both sexes without any firm committment and enjoy both of the worlds as you find fit.

Monogamous relationships might just not be in your scope, so to say...

This is neither good not bad. This is what it is and you have got to live with it.

KD

[androgynuity]

well maybe. I love the security and certainty of monogamy. Apart from any of that I really do love my partner. I suppose that if anything did happen to break us up I might try and do the open/dating both genders thing. It just makes me groan and wish life was simple. In the word(s) of Homer, "Doh!"

[androgynuity]

By the way, I sympathise moonlightdelerium. I can't get men out of my head at the moment. As soon as my partner goes in the bath of a morning I give myself some much needed relief. The trouble is, that only works for so long. I'm not straight and I'm never gonna be so I don't know what the long term answer is.....

[Samhain]

I think there are other ways rather than you go and have sex with other males, it could be that you go through cycles of it being important, then it goes away.

why not think about exploring gay porn with your partner and having sexual fantasys with her, i'm sure with a bit of imaganation she could do things with a dildo on you, while you tell her what sexy secrets you have!!
also ask her if she would be comfortable being more active.

a lot of people go through phases where they feel the need to have sex outside their relationship, just with you it seems to be with the oppersite sex, you must be honest with your partner (as nimh suggests) and think about ways you can spice up your sex life to cater for this.

BTW, I'm going to say this now, there are a lot of people that have a hard time coping with bisexuals and I know some people on here do so as well, this thread is for the author to explore a problem that he has, not for people to give him a hard time for being bi, if I think any posts on this thread are remotly doing that I will edit them

S

[nimh]

of course sam's right. i was going to come back to this thread with a suggestion of 'strap-on for the girlie', but i see he's already beaten me to it. :) poly relationships can be incredibly strenuous emotionally

[Samhain]

of course sam's right. i was going to come back to this thread with a suggestion of 'strap-on for the girlie', but i see he's already beaten me to it. :) poly relationships can be incredibly strenuous emotionally
you know the old saying 'great minds think alike'
S

[androgynuity]

Thanks Samhain, nimh, I think that's helpful. I'm sure there are directions we could take our love life such as strap-ons. If I'm honest, I also think she would be open-minded enough to try it. I've never tried it before (with a woman in that role) so it'll be an experiment for me too. I don't want my life to end up like Brokeback Mountain. That's what happened before when I was married and it broke us up in the end. I can't let this go the same way.

[Samhain]

Thanks Samhain, nimh, I think that's helpful. I'm sure there are directions we could take our love life such as strap-ons. If I'm honest, I also think she would be open-minded enough to try it. I've never tried it before (with a woman in that role) so it'll be an experiment for me too. I don't want my life to end up like Brokeback Mountain. That's what happened before when I was married and it broke us up in the end. I can't let this go the same way.
you mean if you carry on this way your going to turn into a cowboy? :D
S

[androgynuity]

hmmm, I'm not sure my head's the right shape for a cowboy hat, and I draw the line at chewin' baccy. Actually, it was interesting that you mentioned phases previously. I didn't want to bring this up in case anyone thought I was mad but I do go through phases where it doesn't seem to matter and I cope okay, and other times where I'm so overwhelmed by gay feelings that I can't sleep at night. I always have a tough time at this time of year around October (which I can't find any logical explanation for), do men go through hormone cycles?

[mynameiskc]

yes. men definitely do, both monthly and in terms of lifetime hormones. men go through menopause, too. their testosterone levels drop, they go through a milder version. anyway, everyone goes through phases where the stresses in their life makes them question their lives and their needs, and sometimes one just wants a green m&m after eating nothing but red ones, you know?

[tigerlily]

have you thought about role playing with your girl? would she ever take a masculine role in bed for you?

[Samhain]

this forum title looks ever so dramatic on the main forum page!
S

[Number6]

I had exactly the same problem you are having now when I was a teenager and into my early 20's, so this is something I have some personal experience with. Your real problem is you are young, horny and not ready to settle down yet. Nothing wrong with that.

[coco]

All queers need to take a reality check. YOU WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO ADOPT KIDS IN THE UK! Capiche??
It is sick that you think it is ok to stick your di*k up another man's ass. Homophobia is a term invented by queers for right minded, clean living people, when they refuse to accept that homosexuality has a place in society. It is wrong, dysfunctional, and sick. I believe that all queers, and that is what you are, need to have treatment for their condition. You are not born gay - it is a sickness you develop in your teens when the brain gets confused and issues the wrong signals, during the transformation from childhood to adulthood.

Homosexuality needs to be stamped out. It does does not have any place in a christian society. If you feel your rights are oppressed because of this, then you need to leave the UK and go live in San Francisco, where you can get stoned and fudgepack all you want. Remember - IT IS NOT OK TO STICK YOUR DIC* UP A MANS ASS! PERIOD!