That's Funny, Man!

[bokonon]

What are some of your favourite funny quotes from films?
I'm watching 'Saw' at the minute which oddly enough inspired this post!

From Saw:
Adam (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1191481/): I went to bed in my shithole apartment and woke up in an actual shithole.

From 'Pulp Fuction':
The Wolf (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000172/): If I'm curt with you it's because time is of a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car!

And not quite a quote, rather an entire scene, but it's fucking funny, man :)

From 'South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut':
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Jew?
Kyle (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001778/): No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Kyle!
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Eric!
Stan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Stanley!
Kenny (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0431918/): Fuck!
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Kenny!
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): What did you say?!
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
Cartman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/): Holy shit, dude.

[Power_13]

In keeping with the South Park quote, I can remember literally rolling around with laughter at Uncle Fucka...right at the end after the big finish of the song, either Terence or Phillip say "suck my balls". It's just so perfectly timed, and...nothing else would come close to fitting as well as it did :D

[Peace-Phoenix]

The entire script of Withnail and I. People can live their lives by that film. Ahh, makes me think of Giles (Maon) the crazy man. Wonder what he's up to now....

[fountains of nay]

The entire script of Withnail and I. People can live their lives by that film. Ahh, makes me think of Giles (Maon) the crazy man. Wonder what he's up to now....
I would have to agree. Love love LOVE that film :D

[bokonon]

Feels funny dragging back one of my own threads from the UK Forum depths. But I have another funny quote well worth a mention :D

'Magnolia' was on the tele last night, and every time I laugh heartily at:

Frank T.J. Makey: Oh, Phil? I will dropkick those fucking dogs if they come near me.

[fountains of nay]

One of my favourite quotes is from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, when the dad and the weird little gangly brother come back to the house and the dad says, "Look what your brother (Leatherface) did to the door!" :lol:

[phoenix_indigo]

I think this will always be my favourite quote from a movie.

From Reservoir Dogs.

Mr. Pink: I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.

[fountains of nay]

"Vote for Pedro!"

[mbworkrelated]

I never remember funny lines - if i do they never seem funny anymore.

I watched magnolia as well the other night - this made me laugh

Respect the cock (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqGcm2OaAEg&mode=related&search=)

[ronald Macdonald]

"can everyone stop getting shot"
from lockstock and two smoking barrels

[phoenix_indigo]

"Never fuck with the Jesus" - Big Lebowski

really, any quote from that film when it mentions Jesus ... pretty hilarious
(Jesus is one of the characters for those that haven't a clue -- climb out from under your rocks). ;)

[bokonon]

"Shut the fuck up, Donny!" Aw... I did feel bad for Donny, but after the fourth or fifth time it had me laughing :)

Lock, Stock too, is canny funny!

Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

[Quoth the Raven]

"We can't stop here. This is bat country." If you don't know what that's from, you've been living under a rock ;)