Any coming out advice?

[RainbowGirl723]

Hey everyone~

I fell in love for the first time a year or so ago...She's an absolutely amazing girl. I'm 17, and I figure that now that my parents are the only ones who don't know about me, it's time I tell them. I just have no idea how to begin.

Our family has always been really accepting of gays/lesbians (some of my parents' favorite cousins are gay), but I get the strangest feeling that they'll be slightly less accepting if it's me we're dealing with. I'm sort of afraid to come out, but my girlfriend and I are sick of hiding and pretending to be *just best friends*. (Not that it doesn't have it's benifits....to quote Judy Gold, "Growing up lesbian wasn't always a bad thing. Like I could say, 'Mom, can Jenny come sleep over on Friday?' and she'd be thrilled...". We're just sick of this and I've made up my mind.)

Maybe 2 years ago, I told them I thought I was bi, and they went into a fit of denial about how I was too young to know and it wasn't true and I was doing it for attention because all my other friends were. That wasn't true, I really did like girls, but now I know it for certain and I really do want to tell them.

Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks so much in advance!

Love you all~
Jenna

[SageDreamer]

If I were you, I'd come out to your parents' favorite cousins first. It should be easier than coming out to your parents, and because they've come out to other people and they know your parents, they would be great people to talk to. You're lucky to have gay people in your family.

I don't know if you've got any brothers or sisters or other people closer to your age in your family, but they might also be good people to come out to first.

Having some cousins or siblings on your side will make coming out to your parents easier.

And keep us all posted about what happens, OK? I hope it turns out great for you.

[rocknroll_girl]

Definitely communicate with those gay cousins of yours. Opening up those lines can give you a great resource and will also strengthen those relationships immediately.

As for your parents, it seems as though your situation isn't terribly difficult. I was also blessed with open-minded parents (yours sound relatively in that camp) but was similarly hesitant to come out. I feared that they wouldn't take me as seriously as I wanted or see the challenges I'd faced in the years of discovery. I found, however, that when you ask your parents to take you seriously - if they're good parents - they will.

[stone]

Tell your parents you are gay, you already told them you might be bi and nothing bad happened so go for it. Good luck to you.

[RainbowGirl723]

Thanks so much.....Now I'm just working up the courage...

~Jenna

[MinneBi]

Rainbowgirl, look at my age to the left. I just got into a screaming match with my mother last week because I'm an out bi. I've been out for about 5 years or so... The first person that I came out to was also bi, and she was a tremendous support for me. Would you come out as lesbian or bi? Depending on where you live, there can be greater oppression for bi's than for gays/lesbians. Here's a great article, I would encourage anyone to read it... http://www.lavendermagazine.com/sections/pages/bitheway.htmlGood luck, be strong, and eventually it will all work itself out. Peace baby sister...