being suportive of family members

[nimh]

i have a relative who is pretty deep in the closet. he's very private about his personal life. his first marriage ended because he was found in bed with another man. he sometimes crossdresses (not at family functions, although family members have seen him as a woman) and has had his facial hair lasered off. the lasering says to me that he probably leans pretty heavily to identifying as a woman. am i wrong to assume that?

so what the best way to be supportive of a family member who doesnt really want pple to know what they're doing? it's not like it's a secret, but it's not ever talked about either.

and is it pretty common for conservative baby boomer aged guys to keep their transgender identity to themselves?

i sort of feel like it's not any of my business and i dont really want to entrude, but i dont want him to feel ashamed either. i dont think i'd ever really feel comfortable bringing the subject up with him, honestly. i do stick up for him whenever i'd heard any teasing or bashing behind his back though. he's a really good person.

[honeyhannah]

I think writing a letter saying, I am supportive of who you are and who you choose to be, would be something I would appreciate.

I don't think he is trying to keep it completely secret and would probably benefit and be happy to know that someone close to him is okay with who he is and that he doesn't have to pretend around everyone, and that there's someone on his side.

[Samhain]

drop a big hint!
mention that you saw two guys holding hands and you think its such a shame some people aren't more tolerant.
tell him that you are proud of who he is and support him unconditionally.
should the subject come up on tv or something you could mention that you have been discussing on line how important it is to support transexual people.
that way you are not directly relating it to him, but it will be obvouis how you feel
S

[nimh]

you're awesome honey and sam. :) those are all great

[Samhain]

you're awesome honey and sam. :) those are all great
do you buy him birthday and christmas presents because you could always buy him a clothes token at stores that do male and female clothes, that way he can go and choose what he wants
S

[honeyhannah]

drop a big hint!
mention that you saw two guys holding hands and you think its such a shame some people aren't more tolerant.
tell him that you are proud of who he is and support him unconditionally.
should the subject come up on tv or something you could mention that you have been discussing on line how important it is to support transexual people.
that way you are not directly relating it to him, but it will be obvouis how you feel
S
That is great advice. That way it doesn't catch him off guard, make him uncomfortable.

[erzebet1961]

I have quite a few relatives who are gay ..one is transgendered..and the way I support them is by example, they know they can come and talk to me about anything, and I will defend their right to be who they are, simply by the way I treat others who are the same as they.

[Anima_Mercury]

I have quite a few relatives who are gay ..one is transgendered..and the way I support them is by example, they know they can come and talk to me about anything, and I will defend their right to be who they are, simply by the way I treat others who are the same as they.Strange in you but nice words there :)


♥ Love ♥

V

[erzebet1961]

Why is it strange ?

[Anima_Mercury]

Why is it strange ?female are you? *Master Yoda asking* ;)


♥ Love ♥

V

[erzebet1961]

Yes, I am a female..why would what I am have anything to do with how I treat people..I dont understand what you are trying to say !!!

[Samhain]

female are you? *Master Yoda asking* ;)


? Love ?

V
V I wish you'd just answer a straight question sometimes, yes she's female what are you getting at?
S

[Anima_Mercury]

Just wanted to know, that's all... :)


♥ Love ♥

V

[erzebet1961]

I think what I am is obvious when you look at me

[Anima_Mercury]

But should I look at the avatar or the photo?


♥ Love ♥

V

[erzebet1961]

Look Past The Person And Read Their Words...what Sex They Are Should Not Be Important On This Froum

[nimh]

i'm wondering if there's a cultural/language barrier thing happening here with a_m. i'm guessing english is a second language...

[Samhain]

i'm wondering if there's a cultural/language barrier thing happening here with a_m. i'm guessing english is a second language...
I think thats part of it, however I think there are judgements too, that need to be addressed
S

[nimh]

I think thats part of it, however I think there are judgements too, that need to be addressed
Sabsolutley.

[Samhain]

Look Past The Person And Read Their Words...what Sex They Are Should Not Be Important On This Froum
well said!

I have edited this thread, this is the transexual forum, not a forum where people should feel pressured to explain themselves and who they are, questions is one thing, judgemnets are another
S

[nimh]

thanks, sam, i was going to ask you if you could edit the weird offtopic stuff off of this thread. it got derailed massively. there was/is a lot of good energy in the beginning of the thread. maybe we could split the thread and use the second half of the thread to do some teaching or something constructive?

[Samhain]

Just a reminder to anyone who is reading this, please use this thread to discuss supporting family
thanks
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

right on sam!



what the heck eh?