I'll have a Karmacino - Sebbi's Karma

[Sebbi]

I am 17 years old. I live in Surrey (which I can't stand), having moved here about 8 years ago.

I have lived in Wales (twice - once in the North, where I was born, and once in the South, where I had my first memories). I have lived in Leicester (twice) and Germany before moving here.

I was doing the International Baccelaureate in Kings College Guildford, which wasn't really a college, it was just a school sixth form that called itself a college in the middle of the deprived part of Guildford. I ended up hating the course, the school and all its contents and dropped out. My highers were English, Music (which was a really badly run course) and Physics (which was probably the main reason I dropped out coursewise) and my standards were History (the only highlight of being there), Italian Ab Initio and Maths. (google International Baccelaureate, if you want to figure out how it works, I can't be bothered to explain it).

Since dropping out I have focussed on my theatrical and musical persuits. In March we put on a play (Cantebury Tales) and next Spring we'll be performing Macbeth.

Music is my life at the moment and has been for the last 2 years or so. I am in a band called the Impressionables and yesterday we finished mixing our debut mini-album, which we're releasing on our own label. It's called Symbiotic and we recorded it with a friend of ours who's also a producer and has a home studio (how convienient) so basically we got it done, red tape standard for really dirt cheap.

The band has been around since 2004 and started as a form of therapy. The band's first gig was nearly exactly a month after me and my long-term girlfriend had split up completely.

Opinion of me is very mixed, lots of people think me erratic, others outspoken, others think of me as abrasive and many think of me as "a little stuck in his ways but a very nice person".

I tend not to get involved with it all, I try to be as true to myself as I can be and what people think of me, that's what they think of me.

I believe in honesty as one of the most important things in life. I'm sick and tired of people being "nice" or whatever. I would much rather someone tell me I'm the biggest dickhead they've ever met, if that's what they think of me, than they smile politely when I talk to them. I try to be as honest as possible myself, but sticking to that, can admit that it's not the easiest thing in the world and that I will hide things and be fake myself sometimes.

That's all for now.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

Where abouts do you live in Surrey? What do you hate about it most? And where do you see yourself living one day?

[Sebbi]

I live in Epsom, which I guess isn't the worst part of Surrey really. It's better connected public transportwise than most of it and it's sort of on the border between the outskirts of London and the suburbs. Whenever someone comes to my house from, say, Guildford, I always notice how Londony my area must seem to them and if one of my friends from Kentish town comes to stay they refer to where I live as "the country".

We get our water from Surrey Water, it's pumped away by Thames, we have an 020 phone number but are one stop away from being in the London travel zones.

I think my problem with Surrey is just how up itself it is. Everyone is just so... polite. I remember noticing something seriously wrong having moved down here from the Leicester. Down here everything goes on behind your back, and speaking your mind is very rarely seen as acceptable. Down here people are prejudice as well. I remember the first time I saw a Sari since moving her (which was about 5 years) and thinking "ah, that's what's missing, the Indians!" In my school photo from year 11, there was only one non-white face and people here think of foreigners as scum generally.

At the end of the day, Surrey is a pretty dead place, especailly for a 17 year old. No decent music scene in this part (actually west Surrey does have a good scene but that's a 1.5 hour train journey away), everything is so expensive it's untrue. And there are no young people. It feels like you're living in a world designed for pensioners but with all these plastic "youth schemes" that are designed to make it look like young people have something to do.

As far as where I see myself living - I think I would like to either stay in London or move back to Leicester. I would like to have kids someday and I think the city is a great place to grow up.

Truth is, I have no idea where I want to live later on in life - having moved about so much I haven't got anywhere that holds a great place in my heart really. I'm the type of person not to settle really, which suits my wanting to have a career in music. At the same time, I would really like to settle somewhere, I think there's a strong chance I'll travel for a while and then suddenly find somewhere and go "this is home!" and that's where I'll stay, but I have no idea where that'll be.

Much Love
Sebbi

[random_spontaneosity]

what part of music affects you the most? take that any way you want.

what is your earliest memory?

what would you honestly, truely feel if someone called you the biggest dickhead they had ever met or words to that effect?

[Sebbi]

what part of music affects you the most? take that any way you want.I was thinking about asking you to specify what you mean until I read the second part of that.

It's very hard to pin down what exactly it is about music that affects me so much. Truth be told I don't really know. There are probably many different things that by themselves aren't the be all and end all but in the grand scheme of things make a huge difference.

I guess to be technical it's things like, if something's well produced it can make a huge difference, or if a line is phrased right but I think at the end of the day it's whether it moves me or not.

Music, for me, is a way of getting all the shit inside and letting it out so that I can be a little bit more free and happy with who I am without feeling like I'm the prison for a caged demon or a bottle of vitriol. When I hear something that is just really honest, that's what I find most moving.

Which is why I love Nirvana so much and Muse, it's so raw and powerful. It's pure energy put into sonic form.

Yeah ok I enjoy listening to music that's fantasically well produced because you can listen to it with producers ears and go "oh yeah - that bit was good!" but at the end of the day, that's not why I listen to music.

Which is why I tend to prefer singer-songwritery stuff like Damien Rice, David and Nicholas Hirst over Tool or Coheed and Cambria (both bands released amazingly well produced albums but I didn't notice much about the actually emotional content).

what is your earliest memory?
I don't think I have a particular moment that was my first memory, it's more of a haze that gradually got clearer and clearer.

Earliest memories are from South Wales. Things like going on walks, or being strapped in to the child seat in the car, or pottering around the house we lived in. I remember a couple of seconds from a Birthday party once, and playing with Fruit Corners trying to get the sugary fruity bits into the plain yogurty bits.

My first memories aren't really of events, more of places.

what would you honestly, truely feel if someone called you the biggest dickhead they had ever met or words to that effect?It would probably be a bit mixed:

part of me would laugh
part of me would feel defiant
part of me would just say "fair enough then"
part of me would feel dejected and upset

It's happened before that people have said that about me, if you were asking me this if it hadn't happened I would probably say "I would be fine, I wouldn't mind, people can think what they think about me" but because it has happened I know that there is the part of me that just wants to be accepted and loved and that doesn't like being called a prick.

Much Love
Sebbi

[random_spontaneosity]

an oh so important question that i ask too much- what instrument(s) do you play?

in your opinion, which album(s) has the best production?

lots of brackets.

hmm, that'll do for now, im finding it difficult to phrase questions and stuff

[Sebbi]

an oh so important question that i ask too much- what instrument(s) do you play?I play every instrument in the standard "rock" line up competantly; the weakest one being drums, but essencially I call myself a guitarist.

I also play piano fairly well; not amazingly but fairly well - I'm self taught for piano, I printed some guitar tabs off for songs I wanted to learn on piano and just went through it note for note (if that's the third fret on the E string and that note's an E then that... one, two, three THAT NOTE... and if that's the second fret on the A string... etc). Gradually it got more efficiant and I could go - "right, that's a G major so *plunk* that must be that"

I used to play flute a long time ago - I got to about grade three and then gave up. At the end of the day; due to my dyslexia, I doubt I will ever be able to read music well. I can read music but it's a really slow labourious process, and reading a bar or two phrase can take 5 or 10 minutes. Every flute teacher I've had has the emphasis on reading sheet music whereas I discovered more recently, if you give me something to play, I will generally manage it by ear FAIRLY well.

On top of all that I sing.

in your opinion, which album(s) has the best production?Productionwise some of my favourite albums include:

most of the Radiohead backcatalog (esp. OK Computer [Nigel Godrich] and The Bends [John Leckie])
( ) by Sigur Ros (Ken Thomas)
Final Straw by Snow Patrol (Garret Lee)
The Shrek soundtrack (Marylata E. Jacob - not my favourite album for musical content; not awful for it either but anyway - the production job is impeccable)
In Utero by Nirvana (Steve Albini)
Showbiz by Muse (go John Leckie!)

[random_spontaneosity]

i love the shrek soundtrack, well not allllll of it, just some of it!

have you listened to anything by steely dan? my a level music tech teacher was obsessed with the production on their albums!

[Sebbi]

Nope never heard of Steely Dan, what's he like?

[random_spontaneosity]

i dunno, i was just amused at the enthusiasm of my teacher.

but i think its quite kewl music, kinda rockish

[Sebbi]

I listened to some earlier - wasn't too impressed really.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Who are your heroes and why?

Would you want to be a hero?

[fragilenothing]

what's your fave album by sigur ros?? Had a listen to your music its really good, do you tour about and stuff??

oooh and whats your best advice to a band thats starting out? (our singers abit of a dickhead hes always hungover or stoned when we practice)
hmmm nuff questions for today.. got me some nasty tonsilitus *sobs*
mazzie xxx

[Sebbi]

what's your fave album by sigur ros??Hands down it's ( ).

I love A New Beginning as well but I don't think it beats ( ).

( ) is like a single 71 minute song, beautiful and heartrending. I don't know how to put into words how much I love that album, I think it's actually my favourite CD ever, even beating The Bends and OK Computer.

Just... wow! Just thinking about that album makes me tingle.

Had a listen to your music its really good, do you tour about and stuff??
Touring is something I would to do but we don't really have the funds for it. That said there are a couple of (ridiculously dedicicated) fans in America who have said (seriously) that they're willing to take the financial risk to bring us over there and do a 2 week tour.

I think they're nuts but at the same time, thinking about their business plan, I wouldn't try it personally but it's not a bad one.

I think that aside, I would like to do some mini tours first - there's this thing my producer's band is doing; you book a venue, you fill it, you keep all the money that's made from it. You book 3 bands from around the country to support.

They all do the same.

To be honest, even if we could afford it, touring's not the next step. I think the next step is consolidating the existing fanbase so that we're in demand for gigs rather than pushing really hard to get people along and finding a long-term deputy drummer (monsiour Morrant is off to Lincoln Uni).

oooh and whats your best advice to a band thats starting out?Work hard and enjoy it.
Remember that at the end of the day its all about the music but that if you want to get anywhere you need a business plan.
Be friendly to anyone you work with.
Remember that just because you're in a band, it doesn't make you better than anyone else.
Believe in yourself.
Try not to be too petty with eachother.
Don't waste time when soundchecking - just get in, do what needs doing and then get off.
Be true to yourself.

Who are your heroes and why?I don't know if I have any heros. I don't really tend to put people in such high esteem because everyone, no matter how great, is human.

When I was a kid I loved Superman though. I had the polyester suit that I ran around in all day throughout a lot of my childhood - those were the days.

Seriously though, the people who have directly or indirectly touched my lives in a really great way - my Aunt, my guitar teacher, my R.S. teacher I had in year 10, Brian Molko. All of those people have affected the way I walk along my path and I'm really grateful for that.

Would you want to be a hero?Yes and no.

I was watching the Placebo DVD and there's a bit when a fan in mexico is like "Brian you're the greatest" and he replies, sounding slightly tired "Sometimes maybe" as if to say "errrrrr... not really".

I would really love to touch people the way I've been touched myself (oh god - just remembering that school of Rock joke; pushing that back into the crevices of my mind), but at the same time I don't think I would like for people to build of a static image of me, good or bad.

Like monsiour Cobain said "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not"

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

The people you mentioned touching you (damn inappropriate inuendos to hell), what did they do (argh) and in what ways have they shaped (in the clear on that one I think) your life.

[Sebbi]

The people you mentioned touching you (damn inappropriate inuendos to hell), what did they do (argh) and in what ways have they shaped (in the clear on that one I think) your life.I don't want to sound like an arrogant tosser by saying this but I've always been a deep thinker. I've always really explored ideas very intensely and become very passionate about things. I've sworn it'll be the death of me to be honest.

Anyway - those people (excluding Brian Molko - he's a musical hero, which is slightly different) have really responded to that side of me and really nurtured it.

My aunt is an ordain Buddhist nun (or Bikkhu if you know the Sanskrit) and she's been a really strong presence in my life. She said that what she remembers most from me as a kid is having a really vivid imagination and I think she did a lot to nurture that. I wonder how creative I would be if it wasn't for her influence to be honest.

My guitar teacher again, nurtured my imagination and creativity. He was more than a guitar teacher though, I also saw him as something of a spiritual mentor. We constantly had to keep reminding ourselves that our time together was teaching time and chatting about life, the universe and everything wasn't a guitar lesson. There were times when I would be really down and he would just say "So how was your week" and let me spill for a bit before starting the lesson. His perspective really shaped the way I look at things. He taught to say "Well, I am looking at it like that, but I don't have to, I can also look at it like that!"

I think he was very instrumental in that I've turned out, fairly (but not completelyhttp://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif down to earth and balanced).

My R.S. teacher is year 10 played a very similar role to my aunt. By the time I started having him for R.S. I was really really interested in world religions especially Buddhism. I was reading the Tao Te Ching and the Pali Canon and things and I didn't really have anyone to explore it with (I wasn't in regular enough contact with my aunt), and then I mention the Buddhist points of views to debates in his class and soon we're chatting about Hinduism together. Turned out he was a regular meditator, guitar player and was sending his daughter to a Steiner School. Again - he saw I was a deep thinker and helped develop that.

Much Love
Sebbi

[fragilenothing]

i think ( ) is the most amazing cd ever and beats the bends and OK computer hands down, although they're amazing also! do you ever visualise things while listening to ( ).
i'm wondering because me and my friend both have had the same sort of imagery popping into our minds while listening to some of the tracks... it would be creepy if you also did!!!! maybe it's subliminal or maybe ive got too much in common with my mate.. i don't know many people who listen to them.

so what ideas have you become passionate about?
mazzie xx

[Peace-Phoenix]

What's it like to have faith?

[Sebbi]

If I'm honest. I've forgotten.

I was never strongly theistic ever but I did believe in something and I sort of still do but it's just thread of belief.

A couple of years ago, I had a pretty major breakup which set me on the road to depression which I won't say I've quite recovered from, but after about 6 months or so I gave up on faith.

Not quite sure what to say. I really really can't remember what it's like having faith. I think I miss it though.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

What's the best thing you've ever done?


What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[Sebbi]

Tough questions my friend tough questions.

I think I've done a lot of good things and a lot of bad things but I can't really think of anything that stands out.

For best things I would either say, starting my band or doing the Bentley Play.

The Bentley play happens every year, it's put on by a residential care home for people with "Learning Disabilities" (e.g. downs, autism etc). They get a load of people who work in theatre to help out and that's where I fit in. I got a call from my director saying "Seb - are you free on Friday to come to the Epsom Playhouse - there's something I want to rope you into!"
"Yeah ok"

I had no idea what I was letting myself in for but I was so glad for it.

The Bentley play has virtually no merit whatsoever as "serious drama" but that was never and probably will never be, the point. It's a lot of fun for the audience, the cast and the people like me who helped out.

You start the day with some prejudices - no matter how open minded someone is, unless they've spent any ammount of time with those sort of people, they will always have some level of prejudice - and then there comes a point in the day when you realise that you're in a room (or theatre as the case may be) with about 100 of the lovliest people on the planet. It's very moving.

They are very pure - they are like overgrown children except that kids learn the "I want; I need" reflex very early. These people never learn that. My director told me that her moment where the prejudices disappeared she was doing a similar thing to me. There was a guy called Michael who kept on disappearing and she had to go off and find him about 5 times. When they were on stage, her just ran up behind her and jumped on her back and then realised that he was happier than then she could ever be.

I am definately letting myself get roped in next year.

As for the worst thing. Like I've said, I've done many bad things.

I think I've been very dishonest with myself over the years - that's bad. I've spent a lot of time, not facing things, and I still haven't got round to doing that properly yet (though I've managed to take the first iddy biddy steps).

I think if you want a single event/descision it would be going where I did for 6th form. I went there because, largely, I had been persuaded by other people too. My parents both thought the course was fantastic (International Baccelaureate) and the enthusiasm rubbed off on me. I think the descision making process itself was fine, it's just that the outcome was terrible.

Everyone told me it would be like college just smaller, no-one knows anyone when they arrive, it ends up really close-knit. Then I get there and everyone did know eachother from before. It was the 6th form of a school that got shut down and re-opened and my year was the first to graduate year 11 at that school. So everyone did know eachother, and had done for 5 years. The total intake that year was 40 - almost purely from the lower school. It was actually like trying to integrate with an iron wall.

On top of this, when I chose my subjects I had no idea how my dyslexia affected me and that the school didn't actually have any sort of learning support structure, so I was basically being told to stop being lazy instead of someone stepping in and saying "Ok, that parts not your strong point, so lets not worry about that for now, but that part is, so lets work from there. You see, it's not as intimidating as you thought was it?"

I spiralled down for a while, (academically, emotionally mainly) until I took what I think ranks as among some of my best descisions: I dropped out and found another college (Woking). Where I enrolled last Friday.

Much Love
Sebbi

[lithium]

A couple of years ago, I had a pretty major breakup which set me on the road to depression which I won't say I've quite recovered fromKnowing what you now know and have been through, what would you say to someone in the same position as you were then? I don't think I phrased that very clearly:)

[Sebbi]

Exactly what my guitar teacher/spiritual mentor said to me then:

"No matter how hard it is remember: you know that by the end of this, you'll come out of the other side stronger, happier, more secure, knowing yourself better and generally better off as a person."

I've been through phases of believing that - at first I really really believed it and at times it kept me going, then the worse I got the less I believed it. Now I look back and really see that it's true. I know that I'm no where near the end of my journey that is getting over Katherine Grant (we split up more than 2 years ago, which is 6 months longer than we were actually together at all); but with changes on the horizon I've decided to enter a new era in my life and that means facing some of the baggage. Having come to where I am now, I can see that I have grown - I'm definately stronger, I definately know myself a lot better; I think the other 2 need some work but I really think I'm getting there.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

A lot of questions so far have jumped in at the deep end, so I'm going to wade back to the shallow with this one -

What's your favourite food? (can be a region of food eg. Italian, Thai etc)

[Sebbi]

A lot of questions so far have jumped in at the deep end, so I'm going to wade back to the shallow with this one -

What's your favourite food? (can be a region of food eg. Italian, Thai etc)I love food from the East. Especially Indian.

Having done a lot of growing up in Leicester (known as "little India" for a reason) good Indian food reminds me of home. Also the Indian know how to make veggie food!

Not much beats a vegetable samosa.

Except possibly a big pitta stuffed with Falafel, lettuce, tomatos, homous - not the pasty type but the runny type, a bit of spicy sauce of some kind.

Meditarrean food is generally not great if your veggie but when it has it's veggie moments, is HAS it's veggie moments! I think it's all those chick peas, I love stuff based on chick peas (as we've already established). They also know how to use their spices well.

Italian food is also very good, I'm a sucker for Pizza and pasta (though not at the same time, my tummy's not that big).

But when it comes to desserts, again the meditarians win - I LOVE Baclawa (sp?). Especially Lebanese Baclawa; then I think Greek. The Turks don't do it so well though.

Anyway - there you go. I feel like I should be fat talking so passionately about food - I'm only 8 stone (which in itself is a recent development, 7.5 was an achievement not long ago [high metabolism you see]).

Thanks for that question - I enjoyed answering it.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

I love food from the East. Especially Indian.

Having done a lot of growing up in Leicester (known as "little India" for a reason) good Indian food reminds me of home. Also the Indian know how to make veggie food!

Not much beats a vegetable samosa.

Except possibly a big pitta stuffed with Falafel, lettuce, tomatos, homous - not the pasty type but the runny type, a bit of spicy sauce of some kind.

Meditarrean food is generally not great if your veggie but when it has it's veggie moments, is HAS it's veggie moments! I think it's all those chick peas, I love stuff based on chick peas (as we've already established). They also know how to use their spices well.

Italian food is also very good, I'm a sucker for Pizza and pasta (though not at the same time, my tummy's not that big).

But when it comes to desserts, again the meditarians win - I LOVE Baclawa (sp?). Especially Lebanese Baclawa; then I think Greek. The Turks don't do it so well though.

Anyway - there you go. I feel like I should be fat talking so passionately about food - I'm only 8 stone (which in itself is a recent development, 7.5 was an achievement not long ago [high metabolism you see]).

Thanks for that question - I enjoyed answering it.

Much Love
Sebbi
Well I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from...


ZANZIBAR!

If you were an animal what would you be and why?

[Sebbi]

Well I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from...


ZANZIBAR!

If you were an animal what would you be and why?HAHA! That's a great album.

I think I would be something feline. I can't decide whether I'd rather be a big cat or something smaller. I think it changes with my mood, sometimes I do just feel like physically curling up by the fire with a bowl of milk. Sometimes I feel more like stalking prey through the jungle. Either way I'd be a cat.

I already purr and get an unnatural ammount of pleasure from people rubbing behind my ears.

[Peace-Phoenix]

What is your drug?

You can take that any way you like....

[Sebbi]

What is your drug?

You can take that any way you like....My drug would have to be performance.

Not every performance turns out like this but some do.

What I love about performing is that I can create a universe of energy, that is more true and more vivid than, for me, anything else. If I'm angry, I can create that and be free. You sort of create a wave, then it become something outside of yourself. You start riding and realising that you can no longer stop it, you just have to roll with it and see what happens.

The feeling you have when doing that is incredible, and the buzz just... wow.

It has a come-down afterwards though.

[flowerchild17]

Since you're so cat like, are your reflexes crazy fast like a cats and can you see in the dark?:)

[Sebbi]

It's not so much a reflex thing. It's more a genuine fancination with cat toys.

Also I get undue ammounts of pleasure from being rubbed behind the ears.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Have you ever had performances that have brought you down?

[Sebbi]

" Have you ever had performances that have brought you down?"

Yes. In fact I'm a regular sufferer of Post Performance Depression (PPD). Sometimes I don't get it but usually I do. Oddly it's the great performances that hit me harder than the bad ones. If it's bad I'll come off stage and laugh and say "Well, we'll do better next time" if it's great then I'll feel good for like half an hour afterwards. That's the half hour I have stuff to do in terms of packing up and flyering and things. Sometimes I'll be busy for the rest of the night and therefore won't feel the come down until later but it nearly always happens, nearly always the moment I'm alone or get a moment to reflect.

First couple of gigs I had stage fright, but then afterwards I was fine. After those first 2 I had no stage fright whatsoever (and i've never had it since, I'll probably have it the first time we play to a crowd of 1000 or more) but I had PPD.

The first time I got it, I had no idea what was going on. I'm really glad of my guitar teacher because I told him about it and he said he's a sufferer too and that his way of getting round it is literally packing up, then sitting in the car listening to calm music for 20 minutes or so until he feels ready to throw himself back into the world. I later told my director at drama and she said that about a third, maybe more, of the performers she knows are regular sufferers.

I've since collected other peoples experiences of it and I'm now not quite so intimidated by it. I know now it's, for example, partly low blood sugar after an adrenilin rush. I never eat before I go onstage because it tends to muck with my voice so I now know to have something ready for when I come off. It's also partly that I need affection, but that's a bit harder to prepare for.

It's a really horrible feeling. It's like, you feel that despite achieving something really great, there is an underlying pointlessness to your existance. It's almost like a kind of suiicidal feeling. It's like a voice in the back of your mind saying "Great Show - you really moved people! You're still going to die alone though."

You're probably thinking "Have you ever considered that it's symptomatic of an underlying psychological problem?" and the answer's yes. I have considered it. I'm also pretty sure it's the case.

Anyways, so that's my PPD.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

Actually, I think it's more simple than that. A lot of people who use ecstacy get a comedown the day after. Ecstacy releases seratonin and dophamine, and when that's gone, it takes a while to replenish - during which you feel slightly low. Performances, big highs, big rushes of elation, I'm sure they can have the same effect. Not least because you don't want to feeling to end.


But when you're in that situation, do you not take comfort from knowing that, like Christmas, it'll all come again?

[Sebbi]

Actually, I think it's more simple than that. A lot of people who use ecstacy get a comedown the day after. Ecstacy releases seratonin and dophamine, and when that's gone, it takes a while to replenish - during which you feel slightly low. Performances, big highs, big rushes of elation, I'm sure they can have the same effect. Not least because you don't want to feeling to end.

But when you're in that situation, do you not take comfort from knowing that, like Christmas, it'll all come again?I don't disagree with the physiological factors you're talking about but I think they're factors and not absolute reasons. Otherwise I'd get PPD every single time a gig's been good, which isn't the case.

I do take some comfort from knowing it'll come again. Often the worst times I get it are when we've had a run of gigs and nothing lined up after that. Someone said that they always try to have at least 1 gig lined up in the future even if it's months and months away, it still helps to know that the gig you've just done won't actually be the last one you do!

I guess performing, for me, isn't about the high, and PPD isn't about the comedown. It goes much deeper than that. If it didn't I don't think I'd perform (and conversely wouldn't come close to throwing in the towel for that matter, if that makes sense).

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

Would you like to make it big? Or might that destroy the music for you?

[Sebbi]

Would you like to make it big? Or might that destroy the music for you?It depends what you mean by big.

If you mean signed to a big label with a big budget then yes. If you mean widespread commercial success then no I don't think so.

I think it's better have cult success than commercial success. It means more longevity. In terms of a business model I look up to the Pixies much more than whoever's the current big thing.

There are a few reasons why I'd want us to make it big; the more selfish side is that being small is, quite frankly, a pain. It's not fun slogging your arse off trying to get 3 people to come to one gig. It's far better to be promoted properly and just be able to turn up and there's your fans there.

The real reason why I want us to make it big is because for me, music is about touching people deep inside, and if we're big then the people who are in a place where we could, even for a millisecond, make them slightly happier or more content or less alone, then they'll have more of a chance to hear us and be touched in that way.

One thing that really affected me was one gig where there was a girl standing at the front of the audience just looking up and I really got a sense that what she has been screaming inside was coming out of my mouth in what I was singing and finding that we've moved one person in that way was incredibly moving.

The reason why I'd want us to get big is so that can be spread.

I do think though that it has a danger of killing the music. I think it must be very hard to keep your integrity intact when, essensially, your livelihood resides on what you do next. You've got to not give a shit whether your label will drop you or not I guess. It's difficult I think. Reading tour blogs from people like Amanda Palmer (Dresden Dolls) I get a very strong sense it's difficult to remain inspired when a music career path becomes a day in day out slog!

Much Love
Sebbi

[dapablo]

Always a difficult one that, whilst impoverished it is art, when one is paid it becomes a job, when you have a job it is difficult to choose to be poor.

Do you dance to other bands or watch and evaluate ?

[Sebbi]

Do you dance to other bands or watch and evaluate ?Depends.

If I really don't feel like dancing I'll watch and evaluate. Also, if I don't like the band very much then I'll watch and evaluate. My guitar teacher said that one of the best ways to find out what you love about music isn't just seeing some really good bands but seeing some really bad ones. If you can say why you don't like that band then you've learned pinpointed something that you don't like music and can therefore learn to avoid. Often it won't be specific techniques or forms but overuse of them.

It also depends on how many times I've seen the band - first time I'll dance, second time I'll watch and evaluate, third time I'll dance again.

I prefer dancing to be honest, though I am very inhibited about it. There are two things I love seeing an audience do when we're on stage - one is seeing someone being moved, the other is seeing them move their bodies. Music originated along side dance, it was a witchdoctor with a drum wasn't it. Dancing brings people together, I think. When I everyone is moving their bodies together, they're somehow part of somesort of whole. It's something, I think, really profound.

Anyway - I love dancing to bands. And singing along, with the whole of my lungs, even if I'm out of tune. Music is something that should be felt with the whole body, mind and soul and if the band are good, they can do that to you, in different ways, fast and slow.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Peace-Phoenix]

Do you like to mosh?

[Sebbi]

Do you like to mosh?Not really, no.

[Peace-Phoenix]

Nor do I :)


If you were stuck on an island, what 5 things would you most like to have with you - aside from the obvious means to clothe, feed and shelter yourself....

[Sebbi]

A flare gun.
An unlimited paper notepad+unlimited ink pen
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
An acoustic guitar that miraculously never needs servicing
A photograph of all the people I've loved

If I could have one more it'd be a diamorphine syringe.

[sun_heart_girl]

Surrey ain't that bad... but if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

[Sebbi]

Since we're so close to Diwali, due to my childhood I would say Leicester.

If it wasn't for that I might say America - I'm fancinated by America as a melting pot. Yeah ok, it's one big fucking supermarket among other things. And people have got drunk on the idea of "freedom" and lost it. But it's fancinating that there's a country on this planet that all the people go to and their gods struggle to follow them.

There's a bit at the start of American Gods which says:

"One question that has always intrigued me is what happens to demonic beings when immigrants move from their homelands. Irish-Americans remember the fairies, Norwegian-Americans the Nisser, Greek-Americans the vrykolakas, but only in relation to events remembered in the Old Country. When I once asked why such demons are not seen in America, my informants giggled confusedly and said, 'They're scared to pass the ocean, it's too far,' pointing out the Christ and the apostles never came to America"

-Richard Dorson, 'A Thoery for American Folklore'

[Peace-Phoenix]

Has South America ever interested you?