A Lover’s Self

[myself]

I’m silent and I’m absent

You don’t see me any more

Yet I’m not out of love for you

I am not trying to forget you

I only need a moment’s rest

I look into the mirror

I feel the need to find my self

Yet when I look

My self’s image is wavy and unclear

As if I were looking in a lake

I’ve not yet defined my self

I need to work on that

Love has so much confused me

I think I was not prepared

To face that avalanche of emotions

I still don’t know what hit me

I need to figure out what happened

I need to see my self clearly

Not wavy and distorted

If I were with you now

I’d not know what to do

I’d cry for being so confused

It seems it was a self I’ve lost somewhere

Which used to behave like that

When loving you

I spy on you

I need to see you

But I don’t know what or how

To tell you

The more I study myself

The more embarrassed I become

I have no courage left

To look you in the eye

I dare not talk to you anymore

It was not the self I’m now who used to do that

I am at a loss for words

I guess I’m too frightened to go on

Without a little pause

I never thought this would get so serious

I think I was not aware of what I was getting into

When I first stopped to reply to you

I only need to take a love’s rest

To feel calm again

Now I’ve lost all control

I’m all shaky

Like the self I see in the mirror

[alex714]

I like what youre exploring here

The need for a rooted self when in a relationship. And, even if one does have a rooted self, how easily that identity can be torn apart when in the vulernable state relationships place you in.

[AcousticPeace]

i love your poetry. its beautiful and ireally feel what u have to say. its lovely