I Love A Rainy Day....

[~Sam~]

I just love a rainy day. Yes I do. It gives me the opportunity to catch up on my reading, laundry, and do a bit of soul searching.

This is where you find me today, doing some soul searching and listening to the soft summer rain on the roof. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

In the past week I've had to juggle some intense energy. Energy both coming in and going out. Finding the right neighbors to live in the guest house has been daunting. Not to mention complicated. I guess it's not just the writing of the ad, it was dealing with workers who were putting Our touches into the house. These were craftsmen working in the trade and also friends for the most part.

Lots of ideas and opinions flying about. "Let's do this, this way." Or, "It would be better if we lost that idea and did it like this." A true test for losing one's ego... or better yet, for recognizing that Ego has no place in such a group effort. Things turned out pretty good. The projects came out different than what I had in mind, some better and some I'll learn to live with. But the Ending of the work left all involved with a sense of accomplishment, and a deep down good feeling. I sensed no negativity, and opinions were expressed that left me feeling as though when we have need of their talents again, they'll be glad to oblige.

So then I had to write that ad. How to phrase it to attract someone who'll take care of the place and not trash it. How much to charge for rent. What papers to advertize in. Then making the telephone calls to those papers. God, but I HATE newspaper people. Did you know that you can't say; "No Children?" You can say No Pets... but No Children is politically incorrect. Hell's Bells... kids can trash a place sooner than well behaved pets and critters. They can also walk the trails that lead to our cabin and invade our privacy. Not to mention the changing ways of the world and the kind of person that I am.

Can you just imagine some child going into school and telling their teacher; "Miss Marsha said thus and so...." and finding myself facing charges of who-knows-what? This means to me, that if we get an inquiry, and those folks have brats that I feel don't really belong in this valley, that I'll have to lie. Shit. Don't like doing it, but sometimes it becomes necessary for self preservation. Doesn't make it right though. And it carries with it some bad vibes that I'd rather not have to deal with.

This brings me to the Energy going out part. Forming the image in my mind of the energy I'm trying to bring into this magic place, concentrating it with intent, and releasing it to the world at large. Very complicated when you think of all the possibilities and probabilities of Strange meeting Strange. And I am Very Strange.

We'll see what comes of it. Good, I would hope. Because that's what kind of energy I'm putting out there.

continued below......

[~Sam~]

There's the energy of living with the animals too. Of spotting problems before they arise, and dealing with them in manner in which I'm not passing My problems on to another.

Joline is my biggest problem these days. She was someone else's problem that I took charge of. And as she came into her second heat of the season, I found myself wanting to beat the living bejesus out of her. Damn, but she has a mouth on her that can stop a train. All day long...Blaaaaaaaa... Blaaaaaaaaaa... Blaaaaaaaaaaaa... Mindless, at the top of her lungs, relentless and very annoying.

Suppose I can take her to the sale barn this Tuesday, along with one of her doe kids who inherited her mouth. But that Would be passing on my problems to some unsuspecting person. I know how that feels so I won't go there.

Then I thought about those "anti-bark collars" they make for dogs and found some on the web yesterday. They would work, but Kenny told me that I can't spend any more money for a while....

So... I locked both her and Cholly in the back stall yesterday. They still screamed their stupid heads off, but you couldn't hear them three valleys away anymore. And I'm thinking to myself; "they don't really have all that much meat to them, and Summer Goat Sausage sure tastes good and keeps well... hmmmmmmmm?" With that thought in mind, I'll hold off a few days to see how it settles in our minds. But I truly was tempted to call The Nackerman to come and take them away... turn them into chops, roasts and sausage... and be real careful with their skins so that I could work them into a drumhead or a vest or something nice.

On that same note, I have the promise of a buffalo robe in the works. We'll just wait and see. But I don't want to have this mouth-with-legs bawling her head off every 15 to 18 days until next April, and it definitely Would take care of the problem.

On another, soul freeing note:
To my great relief, I think that a nagging annoyance with trying to relate to distant folk has finally come to an end. Did you ever have someone who Knew(thought) they had all the right answers, play with your head? You know the kind... a person who reels you in, offers questionable friendship, puts you off, pisses you off, only to try to reel you in again?

And all the while you know what's going on... you ask them directly what it is they're trying to do... get some mumbo-jumbo answer that tells you they don't have the balls to tell you outright what's on their minds... say to yourself; "well, all in your own time." let them go, only to have them keep setting their hooks in your energy space again.

This is Not Good. It gets to be a kind of weird game after a few times. It expends a great deal of energy too, energy I just don't have to play with these days. In this, I've found, that in order to get some kind of truth out of the deal, you have to piss them off in the extreme to get to what's really going on. But in order to piss someone off, you have to invest yourself in the piss-offedness. I've done it, and I hope that I've convinced them that I'm not the kind of energy the want to deal with anymore. God, but it makes me tired, and hopefully... Hopefully... it's done and over with and I won't have to dick around with them any longer. Clear the energy, burn the bridges... and then go back and burn the pilings the bridge stood on to cinders.


Thank Goodness for my one, true friend, Kenny. I had almost lost him following "their advice" over the past year or so... but he's hung in here with me. Been very, very understanding of my soul searching. And has been my ever present guide and counsel through it all.

And thinking of him now, I find myself blessed to be loved. For Loved I am. By my man of nearly 29 years, by all of my critters out there in the barn, by this land I've been called to watch over... and by my dog; Commander Cody.

Thanks for listening to me think out loud. I leave you, feeling much better about myself and those who surround me here on this small bit of property I call home.

Good Wishes to You,
Sam

http://www.hipgallery.com/photopost2/data/500/638aya_tree_girl.jpg

[MoonjavaSeed]

Ahhh I wish today was a rainy day over where I live. I like a good rainy day as much as you do to take hold of whatever I need to get caught up on. Sometimes you just need a good rainfall to calm you down and let you relax(and then go for a raindance out in the grass).

Good luck finding tenants for your guesthouse! Maybe for wording your add, you could put "suitable for mature couple" or something like that. When you're interviewing possible tenants though, you'll have a variety to choose from in most cases, so you don't necessarily even need to put anything relating to no kids anyways, right? lol.

We've gone through many a noisy animal in our family, and I wouldn't reccomend a bark collar for anything. We used to have one, but we promptly threw it out. It was a shock collar, and after one shock, our dog never barked out of place again(like at passing pedestrians). "and be real careful with their skins so that I could work them into a drumhead or a vest or something nice. "

Hahahha. Sam, yer a funny girl. You know how to use your resources, that's for sure. I still am looking to find something nice to make a pair of those awesome mocassin boots like yours.

Well, keep writing(I can't believe you were a nurse and not a writer!). I love reading these posts.
Mad Love,
meg*

[Southernman]

especially when I'm on the road. Hi Sam, came back yesterday from an OpenAir in eastern Germany. It was great and mostly sunny. I met nice people there. Funny thing, all the time during the cold war there was a Hippie/Freak-Scene in the underground of the German Democratic Republic. Listening to western rock was strictly forbidden, but they could some how manage it, listen to the same music, we listened in our 'free' part of the world. Here are some pics of the OpenAir (http://www.macholdt.de/happy_hippie/)

Wish you and Ken a fine time,
Juergen

[~Sam~]

Well, it's another rainy morning here in jungle land. I'm taking Joline, Cholly and Wattle Dot to the sale barn about 2 this afternoon. Tossed about the question as to eat them or not, and when it comes right down to it... I'm just not That hungry. And, my freezer, small as it is, is full of vegetables.


MoonJavaSeed! I used your suggestion about "Mature Couples" in my ad. Thank You so much! I just had my first "nibble" as I was writing my first reply to you and had to log off to take the call.

Do you have a pattern for making those boots? I could probably draw one for you by looking at how mine are made. Also, if you need a source for Elkskin, suede, or any other skins, I'd be glad to send you some links. And, I thought about the anti-bark collar too, based on your experience, and I won't "invest" in one.


Southernman.... what can I say? When I think about the way folks in East Germany lived under the warped ideals of Russia, it makes my soul go cold.

I know what you mean about "on the road" in the rain. Those raindrops really sting and hurt when they hit you in the face as you're moving along at 60 mph.

You Have A Good Day Too,
Sam