Gay and getting married...is it an option ? (MERGED)

[Duncan]

If same sex marriage were legal in your state, would you actively go through with it? Why? Why not?

[staples420]

Well of course. If I were in love and wanted to get married and was legally able to do so then why wouldn't I want to?


Not trying to be mean or anything.. just kinda seems like a silly question to me.

[earthfairy]

i would do it if it were legal and i was lesbian...right now I have no need but if i was in love with a girl, i would do it if it wasn't legal...who cares, fuck the government

[interior]

i would do it if it were legal and i was lesbian...right now I have no need but if i was in love with a girl, i would do it if it wasn't legal...who cares, fuck the government
right on! to some extent

[Defence_mechanism]

i dont think i would... mainly because im not sure if i believe in marriage. realistically i dont think we'd be the same people in 20-30 years as we were when we got married. who knows, we might be, but i dont need a piece of paper to prove it.

i still think it should be legal tho because not everyone believes what i believe and plenty of gay people wanna get married.

[Taylor]

Love doesn't discriminate and neither should the law.

And yes, I would go through with it. Why the hell not?

[rocknroll_girl]

I think what the question was asking - and it's been asked before - was whether or not marriage is the "thing" for you. It's a valid question for many members of the gay community because we often have an entirely different perspective on ANY existing "heterosexual" institutions. That they may not be that great a thing...that marriage is historically a way of controlling women...etc


Many gay people feel that they don't want to get married at all because it's a corrupt concept. That's understandable.

However, just as many feel it's important and necessary. I know I'll want to get married eventually, to a woman. If it became legal, I'd do it legally. If not, I'd consider myself "married" anyway.

[SelfControl]

I doubt I'd get married if I was heterosexual, so probably wouldn't now. I'd have to really love someone to make that kind of commitment. My understanding of the importance of gay marriage was not the partnership/commitment aspect so much as the legal issues; that your partner should be afforded the same rights as a heterosexual spouse. There's not much you can say that would go against that.

I think there's a danger that, i/w homosexual conjugality is legalised, loads of gay couples will get married for the novelty appeal, and divorce soon after, making the whole debacle seem like a worthless farce.

[MamaTheLama]

When you are married your spouse has the right to have you locked up in a mental ward for observation..or longer. I don't care WHAT kind of love it is..I'm not giving anyone that kind of power over my freedom. 72 hours with no rights over what drugs you do or do not ingest doesn't sound like a vacation to me.

[rocknroll_girl]

Wow, that's bizarre. I never knew that.


Still, there's something to be said for the security in knowing that if you honestly went crazy the person you love the most would be doing what they thought was best. Guess it depends on perspective.

[Defence_mechanism]

MamaTheLama, would you get married to someone who was likely to put you in a mental ward for no reason anyway? i spose thats another reason why i wouldnt get married... if you had a fight and they turned weird and used their legal rights against you. (but rocknroll_girl has a point...)

however, legally, if we get the benefits of heterosexual marriage (ie superannuation, life insurance, etc etc) if we're in long term de facto relationship with someone of the same sex, then theres no reason to get married except for the nice bit of paper saying you're a couple. just a thought...

[Duncan]

When you are married your spouse has the right to have you locked up in a mental ward for observation..or longer. I don't care WHAT kind of love it is..I'm not giving anyone that kind of power over my freedom. 72 hours with no rights over what drugs you do or do not ingest doesn't sound like a vacation to me.
Uh, I don't think you have to be legally married to have someone put an involuntary admission on you!

[beed]

So, I guess this one is pretty much obvious.
Is it right to get married if you know that you are gay. Or at least if you know that you need the 'company' of a man to keep you going every once in a while.

I love my girlfriend, and sex is 'just sex' right ? Plus I'd like to have kids sometime ..

hmmm .... I'd be interested to hear what people think about this ...

[lovelightlisa]

i live in a country where gay marriage is legal, and it's not like a gay couple can't have kids...

[MadEyeMoody]

I love my girlfriend, and sex is 'just sex' right ? Plus I'd like to have kids sometime ..

if they wana get maried its ok with me vut some day i wana have kidos to (im str8 4 the record) :D

[CrazybutLazy]

The only reason anyone is against gay marriage is because they hate what they do not understand.

[mushie18]

You shouldn't marry a woman if you're gay.

period.

[Wond'ringAloud]

I agree mushie. I reckon the others who replied to the OP couldn't have read what he was saying. Being gay and marrying a girl because you'd like kids oneday, pretty selfish beed, in fact you don't seem to considering this girls feeling at all. Are you sure you're gay and not bi-sexual?

[CoRriNieRiNniE]

why not. its there decision!

[Redhead420_23F]

Who am I to say whats right and whats not..but I think the basis of marriage is honesty and trust. So if you are marrying a woman while knowing you are gay, and not telling her, it is her that you are hurting more than anybody. And thats a woman who loves you enough to marry you. So yeah, it is wrong. A marriage that starts out with a lie will never work..go for a life-long friendship instead.

[Lanze]

its already legal here in massachusetts unless our good president Bush bans it.

[markdavid]

Excuse my ignorance, but are you male or female?



So, I guess this one is pretty much obvious.
Is it right to get married if you know that you are gay. Or at least if you know that you need the 'company' of a man to keep you going every once in a while.

I love my girlfriend, and sex is 'just sex' right ? Plus I'd like to have kids sometime ..

hmmm .... I'd be interested to hear what people think about this ...

[icedteapriestess]

I think some of the posters here are confused...

You are male, right? And wnat to know what our opinion is of you marrying your female girlfriend, even though you know you are gay. Thats it, in a nutshell, right?

If she knows you are gay, and is going into the marriage with no misconceptions, then as long as she is fine with it, go ahead. But, remember that even though she is "fine" with it now, she might not be in the future. If you have kids, and things don't work, she might try and take them from you... women do this all the time even when married to "straight" men.

If she doesn't know you are gay, then NO. Do NOT marry her if she doesn't know you are gay. You will really hurt her when things quit working/she finds out.

If you want to get married and have kids... why not look for a simularily minded gay man?

[erzebet1961]

Men seem to be more cool about a gay chick marrying a guy because she wants kids.
Wonder if its because they hope she'll bring her grilfriend over once in a while?

[VertuHost]

I've been with my partner 12 years and we can't marry in the USA. Why shouldn't people get married regardless of gender, unless it is against your specific religion. In that case, domestic partnership should be the option of choice, and DP's should have equal rights to married people. Idiot Bush made it so insurance benefits taken for domestic partners is now taxable for same-sex partners, instead of the usual non-taxable premiums. Why has nobody made a big deal of this? Most people I know didn't even notice the change. My employer at least sent an explanation letter explaining that it was not their choice to do this when it started...

Chris

[evil lesbian]

if she feels that sex is just sex and non of the parties involved will be hurt then i say gi for it but if your married then cheating is cheating however obviously i support gay marriage

[bkcmar]

Gay marriage should be legal and I'm certain it will be in the next 50 -100 years in the USA. Or at least we will receive marital rights without using the word marriage. We cannot offend the fucking religious conservative community. However, as a 45 year old gay man I will not see our community achieve these rights in my lifetime.

141 years ago slavery was legal in the confederate states. The Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Acts were passed in 1964/1965. This country will ultimately do the right thing. We will get equal rights. However, progress seems to proceed at a snails pace.

Unfortunately, we have an asshole in office who stole a presidency. This person and his minions restrict our freedoms.

Please vote in the mid term elections on Tuesday and express your opinion.

[bkcmar]

I think some of the posters here are confused...

You are male, right? And wnat to know what our opinion is of you marrying your female girlfriend, even though you know you are gay. Thats it, in a nutshell, right?

If she knows you are gay, and is going into the marriage with no misconceptions, then as long as she is fine with it, go ahead. But, remember that even though she is "fine" with it now, she might not be in the future. If you have kids, and things don't work, she might try and take them from you... women do this all the time even when married to "straight" men.

If she doesn't know you are gay, then NO. Do NOT marry her if she doesn't know you are gay. You will really hurt her when things quit working/she finds out.

If you want to get married and have kids... why not look for a simularily minded gay man? Very wise and insightful advice.

[SelfControl]

EDITTED for a big bunch of crap.


Um, I dunno, do you really want to go into a marriage knowing that you aren't capable of being faithful? Regardless of whether you're going with guys or girls, it does seem a bit pointless.

[Jinx]

I think it is just awful to marry a woman when you know you are gay. that poor woman. :(

[cerridwen]

So, I guess this one is pretty much obvious.
Is it right to get married if you know that you are gay. Or at least if you know that you need the 'company' of a man to keep you going every once in a while.

I love my girlfriend, and sex is 'just sex' right ? Plus I'd like to have kids sometime .. In my mind, cheating is cheating, and it doesn't make a lick of difference who you do it with or how you go about it.

If you're not ready to make the commitment of marriage, then I suggest you not go through with it until you find yourself in a relationship (with whomever) where commintment isn't going to be an issue.

[*~nathan~*]

That ban on gay marraige is so so so so so unconstitutional. Doesn't dick cheney have a lesbian daughter?