About Personal Space....

[~Sam~]

Since I was about 14 years old I've had three rules of my own, that whomever I'm with, must follow:

1. Don't cheat on me or around me.

2. Respect for Personal Space.

3. Please dont' EVER put the peanut butter knife in the Jelly Jar.

Nutty things, yeah, but I'm very serious about them.

It was on this note of thought that I have been re-discovering the need for personal space that my critters require. And upon the realizations I've come across recently, I have re-ordered the way I divy out hay and grain to make my charges more comfortable at feeding time.

So... Now I clean and change water buckets first thing... then give everyone hay. When they're happily munching away, I feed Mystic Raven first, then the goats. Seems to be working just grand, for now.

To be respected though, personal space needs to be Defined. Borders need to be laid out, and corrections made if they are violated.

This seems to be where I made my mistake on the Forums. Sometimes... Maybe Always... I tend to give of my thoughts and affection for living things away too easily and quickly. I have always thought that others think like myself.

This is where I go wrong... in the assumptions department.

Sitting, milking Ebony the other morning, I was feeling very connected to everyone in the barn. I could sense the borders of approachability in my charges... and I determined ways in which I could improve upon their comfort within their "At Liberty Areas".

Still and all, I wondered just how important "Personal Space" was, and Is, in humans . As I do so, the lyrics of a song come to mind; "despite all your rage, you are still just a rat in a cage."

And I wonder how those of my brothers and sisters are doing in the Cities and Towns around the World. Do they know of their comfort levels within the bounds of close personal contact? Do they know enough to define their own personal space to thereby increase their comfort levels as they go about their day-to-day routines? I hope so.

For as much as I've come to understand the importance of maintaining my own personal space over the years, I find that I'm still learning the important lessons of maintaining that space in an amicable way.

And as I'm writing this bit of nonsense, I take a deep breathe. As I do so, I try to find my Center of being. How comfortable do I feel with the world now? How can I increase that comfort level? And how can I do this in a nice way?

I'm learning. Always learning. For the most important thing that we can do for ourselves in this everwidening world is; Enjoy the Passage of Time.

That's what I owe to myself today. I owe myself the experience of Enjoying the passage of my life's progression, in this body, living on this planet we call Earth, as it revolves around the star we call the Sun... for one more humanly countable 365 days.

Or, maybe just this minute or this up and coming hour. Whatever I can manage. Whatever I find myself comfortable with in this moment... Whatever brings me joy.

I wish you Joy today. Whatever joy means to you, and however you may find it.

With Much Love,
Sam

http://www.hipgallery.com/photopost2/data/500/638finding_joy-the_key.jpg
"So Often Times It Happens That We Live Our Lives in Chains,
And We Never Even Know We Have The Key."

~ The Eagles

[grendel 44]

Good one Sam. I like what you have to say about this,
Personal space has been an interest of mine. You have taken it and put into words a lot of how I feel about it.
I always thought it was kinda fun to invade someone's space and see how they react without even realizing it. For instance, you do not even have to insert yourself, just move something closer to a person (like an ashtray or your keys) and you can tell when they get uncomfortable because the object is now in their space. Mean?, yes, amusing? for sure.

I need a reeeely large amount of space myself, but it doesn't bother me when others enter it as much as it used to, I have worked on it for a long time and have disciplined myself to not to put out weird vibes.

I never thought about animals the way you do, your insight is interesting and made me thing about our cat. Other cats who have owned me have liked to sit on me, this one does not but he will get right up against me and lick my hand. I squint my eyes at him and he does it back (that is how a cat smiles I think). We have so much to learn from animals. Yesterday we were all in the living room with Liam (the cat) he was poured over the back of the couch staring at us and we decided cats are alien spies, really, if you wanted to get information as to how people live what is better than a cat!

Now I am rambling. I have not been visiting the forums so much lately, it seems that we have been invaded by 15 year olds and nobody has much interesting to say. No original thought. Oh, the horror.

You sounded so positive and happy in your post, good to see.

[~Sam~]

Hey Grendel! Glad you stopped in...

So? You're a button pusher too, eh? Kenny called me a "Lunker" the other day. I had asked him why guys like to make me mad and he replied with the lunker theory. Said that all one had to do was to throw their line out and I'd bite. He acted out the casting of the line, setting of the hook... he even made the sound of line playing out off of the reel. Guess I'm just easy that way. My Dad had a great deal of fun with me when I was young. He'd bait me and then laugh like the dickens when I fell for his tempting. Told me it was to make my skin thicker because I was too thin skinned. Still am. Well, you can't make a Sow's purse out of a silk ear, I yam what I yam.

But, in dealing with animals you have to be aware of their sense of personal space. It's the respect they show one another in the herd... and how they maintain their pecking order.

In trying to communicate with Raven I've had to learn his sense of his own space... And, he mine. This is the most important learning as far as horse handling goes. It does take a while to establish those bounds, but in the past week we've made great strides towards good communication.

Just to show that he understood that his pasture was "At Liberty" for the both of us... meaning that the rules of working together or me asking him to do something for me didn't apply in His pasture, he waited for me to close the gate and walk with him down to the stream for a drink. He took a deep, long drink. When he was finished, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, because starring at a prey animal is not kosher, and noticed he held some mischief in them. He backed away from the stream to avoid stepping on me sitting only a foot or so away from him and let out a sigh.

I waited. Sure enough, he began to nuzzle the top of my head. Then he rested his chin on it and sighed again. Before I knew it, he had stolen my babushka and was trotting away from me with it held in his mouth. Looking ever so pleased with himself, he began to shake it like he would a prize. I had to chase him for 45 minutes to get it back. Everytime I would get close to getting my hands on it, he would wheel and trot off again. He had the dandiest time. A great game, played on me by my horse.

I've always had more of a rapport with four legged friends. Mostly because you can't lie to them and they don't lie to you. And being the stupid human in this kind of a relationship, I've had to do a lot of guess work to figure out just what their pantomiming was trying to tell me. So I pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions. With other humans, you sometimes have to piss them off in the extreme to get them to tell you how they truly feel.

I'll stop rambling here, and go and ramble on a new thread for a while.

Good to chat with you here. I feel like when we; you, me and others talk here, it's like having a group conversation. Things are in the open and everyone gets to add their opine. Perhaps this is what goes wrong when folks try to form relationships in real time instead of maintaining the ones founded in the open forums.

Anywho... Nice to touch base with you again,
Sam

[Midget]

Hmm--very good post! I just stopped in to check this forum out, and this is the first post I came to, so naturally I read it to get a feel for what it's like in here...and I'm impressed.

Personal space is really important to me, too. I leanred just how important it was this weekend, actually. Anyway...this festival was Creation 2004, in Washigton. A bunch of Christian bands played, it was pretty cool. But it was crowded...ugh. As long as I found a nice spot on the hill where like not many people set, I was OK...but when I set with my dad and his g/f and people, it was just like ugh...lol. Same with just being around them, too, with my dad and his g/f being all touchy feely...I mean, if they just give me space, I'm OK, but it really kinda bothers me if they don't.

[~Sam~]

I understand what you're saying, Midget. Sometimes, I find how Others treat my personal space has a lot to do with how I make my decisions. To stay or go... and if the choice is to 'go', then the whole world opens up to me. There are so many directions, so many that might appeal to my sense of adventure.

And as I travel through this life of mine, I find that those who actually 'know' what personal space is, and know that I respect it, return it to me. And that acquaintanceship, based on that kind of natural respect, becomes life-long.

Thanks for dropping in here. And thanks for your kind words.

Sam

[grendel 44]

Thanks Sam, you are right, it is, for me at least, quite comfortable to be able to share my thoughts and listen to others in your forum. Yes, I am a bit of a button pusher, but not so bad as I used to be. It can be kinda mean sometimes. It is best when the person does not know you are doing it, or if you do not even mean to do it. Watching people's reactions can be most interesting, it can also teach you how to treat others.

I learned a long time ago that something I find amusing may not be so to another. My wake-up call was several (maybe 15) years ago when I was working in an office. I thought it was the funniest thing to get behind someone and shake their chair and yell "earthquake". I finally did it to an Asian girl , who fell apart and started crying. I hugged her and told her how sorry I was and she just started venting about her horrible life. I guess she needed someone to talk to, she was normally very quiet. In her own country she had gone through hell (she was from Cambodia) and then to top it off she ended up being sent here by her family for an arranged marriage. I guess it was, to her, not much fun. She was so under her husbands control that I wonder why he even let her go to work. she had two children and took care of them, her mother in law, her husband and the house in addition to working. WOW, You do not realize how good you got it until something like that comes up. We became good work buddies and she felt comfortable talking to me about her life. I hope I was able to make her feel better. I learned so much from her and the experience.

Now who is rambling? Me as usual.