My friend converted to LDS and I don't think I like it

[minkajane]

I met my best friend, M, in 9th grade in Bible Club. We went to the same church (Pentecostal) together for two years until we both decided to leave it. After I left home, I discovered Wicca and I'm now Wiccan. M was floating for a while, but recently decided to convert to LDS. Her husband is Mormon, but hasn't been practicing until recently. She says that she knew she needed direction in her life when she went out drinking and passed out in a bar bathroom.

I feel really selfish and petty saying this, but I don't like it. I feel like she converted because 1. it was convenient and would give her something to focus on and 2. she thought it would bring her closer to her husband. Their marriage has been rough from day one. She only knew him for two months when they got married (almost 5 years ago). She had just broken up with her fiance AND her married lover and I feel like she just wanted some stability, so she got married. So she has a history of jumping into things to try to regain some control over her life when it's out of control.

She's really jumped into this with both feet too - she's going to church every week, plus meeting the elders, teaching a class, going to temple, wearing garments (sacred underwear basically), reading the Book of Mormon every day, and she and her husband and son have all been sealed in the temple.

She just doesn't seem like the same M anymore. We used to hang out constantly, I could talk to her about anything. Now every time I try to talk to her about a problem, whether it's mine or hers, she keeps talking about "God's eternal plan" and how whatever problems we have now just aren't important compared to eternity. She used to be the one person I could talk frankly to about sex, now she gets offended when Penn and Teller say masturbation is normal and healthy on Bullshit, I can't talk to her about dating women, I really feel uncomfortable mentioning sex at all now.

I have no problems with Mormons in general, but it really freaks me out that she's changed so much and it doesn't seem like it's all been for the best. She seems very uptight and tense now. I don't know if she's happy with this or if she's just doing it because she made a commitment to it.

I really don't know what I'm expecting to get out of posting this. It helps to vent I guess. Has anyone else been through an experience like this?

[DancerAnnie]

You don't have to like what she is...because you aren't her...and you certainly cannot tell her what to do. If you don't like what she's become and it's bad enough to end your friendship over...then that's it, then...you have to live with that choice...or you let her grow and learn from her choices...watch her change and let her change. That's what real friends are about.

[mybadself]

You don't have to like what she is...because you aren't her...and you certainly cannot tell her what to do. If you don't like what she's become and it's bad enough to end your friendship over...then that's it, then...you have to live with that choice...or you let her grow and learn from her choices...watch her change and let her change. That's what real friends are about.spoken like a true friendless individual

[DancerAnnie]

spoken like a true friendless individual
Spoken like a true ass-wipe.

[mybadself]

spoken like a true friendless individual

[nimh]

mormonism is like a cult. they're encouraged to have friends inside of the religion and to try to convert nonmormons to their religion. outsiders are 'evil' and need to be redeemed. it's scary shit~they even try to convert dead people to their religion. they do baptisms for the dead by proxy so that people who have died without learning about their religion can have the chance to accept it in the afterlife.




She just doesn't seem like the same M anymore. she isnt. she's been assimilated.

sorry 'bout your loss. :(

[mybadself]

the point is she knows from EXPERIENCE her friend is acting irrational

if she didn't say anything what kind of friend would she be

[Raving Sultan]

you should look for support groups and plan an intervention. save your friend from mormon fundamentalism while you still can

[themnax]

well i don't think it's anyone's bussiness to like or not like what anyone else converted to unless you have to live with them and the're constantly trying to coerce you. which would then be none of their bussiness to do either.

if anyone needs to be "deprogramed" from anything, it is fundimentalist protestant christianity which is the biggest ultimate brainwashing cult of all time.

(see the thread "from another site where someone got this from another site")

=^^=
.../\...

[BlackBillBlake]

I have no problems with Mormons in general.........
They are a narrow minded and exclusivist cult who use very dirty tactics to gain converts. I know of a family where they tried to convert the mother, and promised to buy her new furtniture and generally take care of her. It caused her husband immense distress. Fortunately, she saw the light and walked away from it.

That kind of thing is not acceptable, as they'd end up virtually owning a person - if you decided to change religions again, would they let you keep the furniture? Somehow I doubt it.

As to their beliefs, they don't even bare thinking about. It is purile nonsense which as far as I can see, would tend only to appeal to those who either have some problem, like your friend, or are simply stupid.

[mariecstasy]

bahahaha...this is the funniest thread ever.
first off its not your business, as you stated. and i can see how you would be turned off by the situation. mormons are very restricting in what they can do in their human forms, this is true. its part of the many reasons that i found myself falling from the faith.

however, its not a cult. its a religion just as any other one is. most faiths encourage sisterhood and brotherhood within their religion. its a matter of having ties that help them in their quest for righteousness. you will find that with catholics, methodists, wiccans, muslims...you name it. all sects tend to stick with their own kind. its like that in society too. you hang out with the people that you are attracted to...the ones on the same path or vibration as yourself.

people so often take parts that they do not understand and run with them. we could do that with every religion, every faith, every action actually. baptisms for the dead seems very strange indeed....but what do you really know of it....did you hear of it with an open heart and mind or a closed one? often i snub that which seems crazy to me because i didnt come at it with an open mind.

its a tough faith, believe me. i havent been active for years and still have had the missionaries knocking on my door when i was stoned out of my mind trying to invite me back to church. it can feel invasive yes, but all of us, do that which we feel is right and good to do so i dont get angry at their trying to "save" me as they see it, i simply dont open the door;) . if they feel they have found their true religion and are so happy about it that they want to pass the message on, there is no problem with that. as long as it doesnt impose or invade on your right to be who you are.

personally i am very conflicted on how i feel about religion but i honor everyone to make their own choices. does your friend seem happy and fulfilled or does she seem dead and lead? if she seems happy then be happy for her and let her know that you feel blessed in her happiness but that you are the same person as before and do not wish her beliefs pushed on you. if she continues with "gods plan" stuff, then tell her you just are uncomfortable with it. though, i often refer to the fact that the "universe knows" seems she is saying the same thing, just in her own language. all religions and faiths are almost the same, just with different language and a few adjusted rules. if she captures the true essence of the mormon faith and of spirituality period, she will love you and respect you enough to let down the spiritual sword when the tow of you are together. or you just might have outgrown one another for now.


keep faith and love your buddy for all that you know she is inside:)

[mamaboogie]

quite frankly...
it's none of your damn business...
and you're right it is selfish of you to say that...
if she's finding happyness and solice in this religion (playing gods advocate here, ironic)
then what kind of friend would you be to deprive her of that?

this stuff kind of annoys me... it's not your place to live her life... let her live it... and be her friend...oh, dear, I'm agreeing with Jester again. Must be a sign of the end of times or something equally horrible!!

[Raving Sultan]

i agree with all but remain her friend part. you dont have to remain her friend but she can live her life anyway she wants. much like drug addicts

[dietcoketree]

let her be whatever religion she wishes. if she wants to pray to a donkey, thats her buisness.

you can be a friend and support what makes her happy or not.

my family is mormon and i dont like it one bit. but it makes them happy, so in turn im happy for them. i dont agree with it, so i dont practice it.

im sure you do things she doesnt agree with, like NOT beign a member. so to each his own; in the meantime just try to deal.

goodluck with everything and i hope your friend doesnt get to lost in all the churchy stuff; i sure as hell know what thats like.

[Sera Michele]

First off, I think some people are being unnecessarily harsh. You haven't mentioned that you are chiding her because of her beliefs or trying to talk her out of them, just that you personally do not like her beliefs and feel like you lost the friend you once knew. You're free to rant, it always feels good to get your feelings off your chest.

I also understand your frusterations about the nature of the highly religious. I remember as a kid getting sick and tired of my conservative christian parents telling me "well, god has a plan" or "look to god in your heart" whenever I needed advice. I was also tired of my christian friends who would go from normal to ultra-christian because they heard a moving service on sunday, then start harping on me because of the past "sinful" things I've done or talked about. I've lost many a friend and relationship because they one day up and decided I wasn't godly enough for them (because, you know, one day of rededicating yourself to god makes you SO MUCH BETTER than the people you've left behind). I say all this to let you know that I certainly feel your pain.

The lesson I've learned? People go through a lot of changes in their lifetimes, and those changes bring us closer to some and further from others.

Regardless of what religious choice she's made, the fact of the matter is that people change a lot over their lifetimes and not all friendships can be easily or at all maintained, religious conversions or not. It must be especially hard when you can feel you and your best friend drifting apart, but you must be careful not to insult her by insulting her beliefs if you want to keep any part the friendship alive. But who knows what life may bring. Keep in touch, be there when she needs you, be happy when she's happy, be there when she asks for help or solice, and you may wind up two peas in a pod once more. You may always yearn for the relationship of the past, but unfortunatly we can't live there.

[BlackBillBlake]

C'mon man, the same can be said about the Christians.
Well maybe it's different in the US, but over here I have only ever had two 'religious' groups knock my door - Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons. Hard to say which ones are the crazier. They all seem to have this 'dead fish' aura that hangs around them......
I've never myself encountered any other church actually offering what amount to material bribes to convert - although I've heard some evangelicals use such tactics in India and in S.America.

[spook13]

I for one can't understand what anyone would see in LDS beliefs and consequently want to convert to that faith...but my friends and family didn't understand why I became a Hare Krishna, either :p ...I can see it from both sides.

[somedude]

I once hooked up with a Mormon girl on a cross country train trip. She then proceeded to unleash the hounds. For years afterwards they would track me down wherever I moved and come knocking on my door.

[yyyesiam2]

Is there any difference between organized religions and "cults", besides opinon and number of members? i can't really see any.


i would say that if you really love this person, the best you could do is stand back and lead by example. if your way of life is going to work better for her, it'll be obvious just by how happy and content you are with it. if conversion by osmosis doesn't work, she's probably where she needs to be at this point in her life, and there are a few very valuable lessons coming up in the future for her that she can only learn on her own and in the position that she is currently in. it's extremely hard to watch loved ones make what seem to you to be "mistakes" that they could easily avoid if they only had your point of view, but it's also entirely neccessary if they're going to achieve any real growth in their lifetime.

good luck

[mybadself]

Why do you religious people try to ALWAYS tell other people how to live? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Mind your own damn business and accept your friend for her choices. If you can't, then it's YOUR problem.lol

i like you so i'll let this go with a warning

[DancerAnnie]

lol

i like you so i'll let this go with a warning
Oh please. :rolleyes: No one cares what you think/do...I love people who think they know everything.

[mybadself]

i was talking to fuzzy

[MysticQuaker]

I'm not here to tell you what to do with your friend. Sometimes friends grow apart, just as we grow closer together. All that I would like to do is to ask you to consider the added intrigue friends with diverse backgrounds can add to your life. I have a number of friends who, while I get along with them well, hold vastly divergent views than my own. It makes the conversation livelier. If she is defensive, encourage her to discover her own faith by finding responses to your probing questions. If she finds good answers, you now have a growing understanding of another worldview. You can study and converse with those of other faiths without buying wholesale into their cosmologies and mythos.