Top Ten...

[daisymae]

Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marrying A 104-Year-Old Woman



10. "Will I get along with her parents?"

9. "What if the day after we get married I meet a hot 103-year-old?"

8. "Will the wedding cake fit through a straw?"

7. "Should I go on Springer or Montel?"

6. "Do I mind that her ex is Orville Wright?"

5. "Does Sunnyvale Retirement Home offer a honeymoon package?"

4. "Would I be better off marrying two 52-year-olds?"

3. "Will this still be a good idea when the tequila wears off?"

2. "How much longer can I make her think I'm Bob Barker?"

1. "When do we get to consummate this bad boy?"

[daisymae]

Top Ten Things I, Peter Griffin, Would Like To Say To America



10. "If George Bush had Dick Cheney's first name, his name would be Dick Bush and I'll tell you I'd listen to a lot more of his speeches"

9. "Did the Patriot Act take care of Mujibur and Sirajul?"

8. "Shouldn't Crystal Bernard be in 'Playboy' by now... I mean we did our part and sat through seven seasons of 'Wings'"

7. "Laura Bush killed a guy"

6. "This is the best moment in television since Mr. Belvedere sat on his own nuts and fainted"

5. "Did you know Jim Belushi had a brother who was in TV, too?"

4. "Hey Ben Affleck and Matt Damon we're all still waiting on that second Oscar-winning script"

3. "I have always wanted to do this...ladies and gentlemen, the Max Weinberg Seven"

2. "If Jay Leno makes you laugh, chances are I don't care for you as a person"

1. "We should all buy more American-made products which at last check are down to porn and cheeseburgers"

[daisymae]

Top Ten Signs You Eat Too Much Rice-A-Roni



10. You can't cross the Golden Gate Bridge without consulting a team of architects

9. You drink a cup of boiling water and expand to three times your normal size

8. You show up at work naked except for a strategically-placed seasoning pouch

7. You get a little visit from a couple of Uncle Ben's goons

6. You just spent $1.7 million for a box of Rice-A-Roni that belonged to Jackie Onassis

5. Every Wednesday night you have a small group meeting that begins with someone saying "My name is Bob and I eat too much Rice-A-Roni"

4. When you go swimming in the bay, tourists mistake you for Alcatraz

3. You actually pass up a delicious head of lettuce

2. When you ask hookers for a "San Francisco treat," you really do mean dinner

1. Two words: Giant Ass-A-Roni

[daisymae]

Top Ten Things We Learned From The Clinton Years

10. That Hee-Haw crap's funny on TV but not in the White House

9. A White House internship provides hands-on experience

8. It's a good idea to replace the Oval Office carpets every once in a while

7. You can jog every day and still be a chunky tub

6. You can have sex without having sex, as long as while you're having sex you don't actually have sex

5. As long as the economy is good, Americans believe anything you tell them

4. Considering his taste in ladies, it's a good bet Bubba's been drunk since '92

3. Hillary looks really hot in those pantsuits

2. You can be Vice President in the most prosperous time in America, run against a dumb guy, get more votes and still lose

1. It's bent

[crummyrummy]

10. You're not getting the respect you deserve as fry guy.
9. You think it will look good on your resume.
8. Your current religion limits alcohol to just wine during services.
7. The SEC probably won't investigate you.
6. Everyone else is starting one.
5. Group health insurance.
4. Your pet monkey suggested it in your daily pep talk.
3. Group rates to amusement parks.
2. It's more cost effective to feed two hundred than just three or four.
1. You're not only a member, you're also a supreme being.

[TheGanjaKing]

am I supposed to read these?

[crummyrummy]

no, everyone knows trannys cant read.

[alex714]

those were entertaining


but really, you are posting in ganja's forum, keep the word usage to a serious limit.

[daisymae]

Ganja could always just read the title and the last line...that's how he got through high school....

[crummyrummy]

I thought he just did all his teachers?

[TheGanjaKing]

I thought he just did all his teachers?


only the fat ones.

[TheGanjaKing]

no, everyone knows trannys cant read.


at least I didn't disappoint anyone :rolleyes:

[TheGanjaKing]

you are posting in ganja's forum, keep the word usage to a serious limit.



yes.

[alex714]

blah

[crummyrummy]

only the fat ones.what about the elderly ones?

[TheGanjaKing]

what about the elderly ones?


most of them were too senile to even realize I was in class.

[alex714]

AND there I am, back in the sig where I belong.

[crummyrummy]

AND there I am, back in the sig where I belong.it is good to have goals.

[TheGanjaKing]

AND there I am, back in the sig where I belong.


Don't get used to it. unless you are quick with new material....

[alex714]

Don't get used to it. unless you are quick with new material....
me?
quick?

[TheGanjaKing]

me?
quick?


yeah, you are the slowest person to cum I've ever met.... :rolleyes: